Scared for my other DC's

(7 Posts)
Valsoldknickers Thu 14-Aug-14 23:38:06

My beautiful baby died a few years ago. He had a heart condition and there was nothing they could do to save him. I plummeted to the depths of grief. It was awful and so intense I thought I would never smile, laugh or find joy again.

He has wonderful siblings who have given me a reason to live but I have a problem which has been intensifying recently. My mind races at night constantly dreaming of (nightmares) and imagining (when I wake up) terrible things happening to them. Everything is beyond my control,of course, so much so that it is intruding on my enjoyment of my children. I see danger and bad things at every turn.

I would like them to have a happy carefree Mum.

I do not want to distress anyone else going through something similar, but if you have and came out the other side can you please tell me how? Thanks in advance x

OP’s posts: |
FlossyMoo Thu 14-Aug-14 23:46:02

I am so sorry Val I have nothing to offer by way of advice but you have my thought xx

wildernessagogo Sat 16-Aug-14 03:20:08

Have you been in touch with your gp? It all sounds very understandable albeit hugely distressing and I would suggest some bereavement counselling. I'm so sorry for your loss x

Homebird8 Sat 16-Aug-14 04:03:08

I am so sorry for your loss Val. Everything you have shared tells me you're a great mum and it's horrible what has happened. sad

Do go and see your GP and explain how you have been feeling. I take from your description that it started before your little one died. Was the timing connected with knowing about your baby's heart problem or was it before that?

It's possible that your doctor can offer you some help with your bereavement. If the other nightmares and imagination issues came before this you might need some different help. Make sure the GP knows your timeline.

Sending you and your lovely family flowers. One step at a time. Look after you.

angelopal Sun 17-Aug-14 09:02:47

Sorry for your loss. I lost my first dc to a heart defect in 2012. The heart defect was not detected and she died unexpectedly at home at 4 days old. We have now have a healthy 6 month old.

Its really hard at times. At the start I struggled when she was sleeping. I would put her down and a couple minutes later would have to check she was still breathing. When out in the car there were times I would pull over to check she was ok even though rationally I knew she was asleep and nothing was wrong.

Not as bad now but still do the finger under the nose test when I go to bed just to make sure.

Do you think counselling would help? Do you have a good gp or are any of you dcs young enough that you still have a hv? Also SANDS have helped me.

Hope things get better for you. Take care.

fourthandfinal Sun 17-Aug-14 09:14:53

Massive massive hugs to you. xxx

TelephoneTree Sun 17-Aug-14 23:06:14

Oh gosh, poor you - I think I'd be the same. I think you should go to your GP and ask to be referred for CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy)….I think that might really help x

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