My teenage stepdaughter died last summer after a very difficult and distressing illness. She lived with us full time. Since then I have been supporting my husband and stepson, both of whom have manifested grief in different ways. We also have two small children, one of whom was born just before the death. Obviously I have also been coming to terms with it all but my feelings are secondary to theirs. We are now dealing with quite challenging behaviour from my stepson too.
I am not very good at talking about things much but had a group of friends with small children who I saw every week. We all talked about our lives and I thought they were close friends, one in particular, who I saw a lot. I have been very depressed recently and sent them all an email apologising if I had been acting oddly or upset any of them. I got back a reply, presumably on behalf of them all, telling me they basically don't want to spend time with me, that I am exhausting and self centred and lots of other things beside. I had no awareness that they felt like this and no awareness that I was acting like that either. I was always interested in what they had to say and their lives.
I am devastated. I have asked other friends if this is true and not one says they experience me like that, but I see less of them. My behaviour is dated back to after my stepdaughter died. This is incredibly painful. Have I turned into a monster? My other friends say the email is vile and cruel and untrue, but I can't shake the words from my head.
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Bereavement
Has bereavement made me a horrible person?
44 replies
Lostforaname · 20/07/2014 10:10
OP posts:
StickyEmInTheRibs ·
20/07/2014 12:13
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