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What can I do to help dying friend's family? Advice please..

(5 Posts)
CornflakeMum Thu 17-Jul-14 17:01:39

Have just found out that a friend with cancer is not going to recover, and has been brought home for palliative care. sad

She is the mother of one of my teen son's good friends. We have got to know the family quite well over the last 2-3 years, but we are not really close, lifelong friends IYSWIM.

She is now very ill, and doesn't want to see people except family. I have replied to her DH's email with what I hope are appropriate words.

I have had a chat to DS about how he should try to act normal and continue to be a good friend.

What else can we do, if anything? If anyone has been in this situation, are there any really practical things people did in the final weeks which were helpful?
We wondered about trying to arrange things for DS's friend to do with him/us to take his mind off things briefly?
Or sending/taking round some homemade or high quality (Cook) frozen meals?

Greyhound Thu 17-Jul-14 17:08:25

How sad sad

I expect your friend and her son would appreciate you taking her son under your wing a bit, arranging some visits etc.

Other than that, perhaps bringing round some meals to put in the freezer would help.

Kundry Thu 17-Jul-14 17:20:29

Ask them. They may want practical things like childcare or a few meals.

Or they may really really want to be left alone to be just family and want some space - I know this is really hard if you are good friends but I work in palliative care and gripes from family about friends visiting when they want private space and not feeling they can tell them to go away, come up every week.

Mrspinktoes Thu 17-Jul-14 17:25:54

When my DM was dying. Meals for the freezer were so helpful. The last thing on my and dsf minds was cooking and shopping.

FreeSpirit89 Tue 22-Jul-14 16:07:26

Ask if they need some shopping, or even if they need some meals. Odder for the DS to come round for a few hours to get away from the stress of the situation.

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