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Mum lost her battle yesterday morning

(12 Posts)
mypussyiscalledCaramel Tue 08-Jul-14 09:32:43

Mum had Motor neurone disease. She had been fighting it knowing for 3 years, but not knowing 2 years before that. The prognosis was 6 months to 5 years.

My relationship with her was difficult until she got her proper diagnosis and she saw who I really was.

Over the last 3 years she went from a vocal, controlling blue arsed fly, to someone who couldn't eat, drink, talk or move. Although she never stopped being Queen bee. To get attention she would clap her hands and gesture imperiously in the general direction of what she wanted and the rest was up to us to guess.

She adored ds2, who was the youngest of 6 grandchildren and Ds adored her too, it also helped that he could borrow an iPad and play on it when he didn't want to sit still anymore. She finally realised that ds1 wasn't as bad as she thought and told everyone she knew about his achievements on his college course (winning a lighting competition the first year it was organised and lighting up the National Theatre in London).

She went into the local hospice on Saturday and went to sleep on Sunday night and never woke up. She was 67.

She is being cremated after a humanist ceremony and her ashes will be scattered at a place on the coast that she loved.

Then there will be party for all her friends and lots of remeniscing.

Ds1(16) feels slightly guilty that he's not crying at the drop of a hat and ds2(8) is being a pain in the bum. Me, I'm randomly crying at the drop of a hat and I'm glad, because I was so worried that I would not miss her due to my crappy childhood and early adulthood.

Now to hopefully not end up an emotional wreck due to my mental health issues

angemorange Tue 08-Jul-14 10:13:44

So sorry to hear about your loss, your mum was so young.
Today is the anniversary of my dad's passing and even a lot of years on it is still very painful. The grieving process is long and difficult but you will come out the other side. Thinking about you and your family x

50ShadesofXmas Tue 08-Jul-14 10:31:53

Sorry for your loss. Thinking of you.

brunette123 Tue 08-Jul-14 10:36:00

I am so sorry to hear about your mum. I am glad that you and your family became closer to her. Look after yourself and cry when you need to. God bless.

irregularegular Tue 08-Jul-14 10:36:47

Sounds remarkably like my mum who also died this year aged 66 after a year with cancer. I'm really glad for you all that your relationship improved at the end - in some ways the loss is harder when your relationship is more complex than when you have a straightforward, very close relationship.

Take care of yourself.

mypussyiscalledCaramel Tue 08-Jul-14 12:28:00

Thank you all.

The crappiest part of all this is I no longer have either parent. My Dad died unexpectidely nine years ago Im an orphan at 42

Ds2 asked me this morning, what happens to grandma now. So out came my walnut analogie. Grandmas soul is the walnut and her body is the shell, her soul is up there somewhere and her shell is being cremated. Then I explained what would happen at the service.

We also worked out that he was 3 when she started getting symptoms and 5 when she was officially diagnosed, poor little boy doesn't remember her any other way but ill and he was 3months old when my Dad died.

He went to school this morning after telling me that he was going to tell his teacher first and surprise confused his friends, who can understand how an 8 year olds mind works.

mypussyiscalledCaramel Tue 08-Jul-14 12:29:15

Apologies for any crap spelling and grammar, I can't be arsed to worry about it.

brunette123 Tue 08-Jul-14 12:36:21

I am sorry to hear that - I no longer have either parent I lost my mum when I was early 30s and my dad couple years ago when I was in early 40s - feel too young to be without my parents (I have no children or husband either). Sending you my deepest condolences.

cathpip Tue 08-Jul-14 14:14:20

I am very sorry for your loss. My ds (5) likes to refer to his sister as the sunshine, because she is everywhere we look and the sunshine makes us happy. A child's insight into death is refreshing and I found somewhat comforting, all of ds's friends refer to our daughters wake as Pippas party. I hope the next few days and weeks are easy on you, take care.xx

inabranstonpickle Tue 08-Jul-14 15:49:47

I really sympathise flowers - I lost my mum at 16, my dad died 2 months ago. So I am also an orphan at 32.

It's awful. xx

ssd Thu 10-Jul-14 10:05:49

it is awful, I couldnt agree more x

Charlie97 Thu 10-Jul-14 18:38:37

So young....I'm sorry fir your loss x

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