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Mums death

(7 Posts)
WillIEverBeASizeTen Sun 06-Jul-14 05:04:50

Mum died in September 2012. She was my closest friend. I thought I was coping well, but I'm getting worse. Is that possible nearly 2 years on?

I feel lonely, abandoned and isolated.

telsa Sun 06-Jul-14 09:32:15

I understand. I feel similarly at times about my dad, gone the same length of time. Other times I just get on with it. I hope to come to the point when I just remember fondly, but it is devastating.

ChoudeBruxelles Sun 06-Jul-14 09:42:02

My mum died in sept 2012 too. I have good and bad days but generally do feel better about it. I've had counselling which has helped.

What I find hard is most of my friends haven't lost a parent (my dad is dead too) and I get so annoyed with them moaning about petty things about their parents.

Do you have someone who you can talk to about your mum?

tertle Sun 06-Jul-14 09:43:47

I feel for you. My mum died almost 18 months ago and it doesn't get any easier. Although I am carrying on and now trying to enjoy my life my grief doesn't get any smaller. I just still can't believe that my mum has gone and I'll never see her again.

One thing I read recently is that grief shouldn't get smaller or disappear. The sadness remains the same but our life around our grief gets bigger. Not sure if that makes any sense at all for you.

Losing a parent is extremely difficult and I know that I'll never get over the death of my mum. You can just try to work around it but that takes time. When I'm feeling especially down and missing my mum I try to think about what she would want me to do and I know she'd want me to think positively.

So sorry for your loss thanks

WillIEverBeASizeTen Sun 06-Jul-14 14:56:46

Thanks for your replies thanks

I have 5 siblings, they are older than me and, as there is a gap of 8 years between me and my last sibling, they had a very different relationship with her than I did. My Mum was a lone parent and we were together all the time as my siblings all left home quite young.

My 2 older sisters have this 'exclusive' relationship that I'm not party to, when my Mum was alive it didn't matter so much, hurts, I feel so very excluded and this makes my loss even greater.

Unfortunately my closest sister is overseas, I have 2 brothers also, who just don't have a clue how I feel.

My Mum was my best friend and confidante, I miss everything about her.

choude I have a very lovely friend who, when I have hit a low, is always there to pick me up, I am so very very grateful for that.

Bangonthedoor Sun 06-Jul-14 20:39:07

Sorry for your loss OP thanks

My mum died in February 2010 - over 4 years now. Gosh that time has flown!

Another poster is right when saying the grief doesn't ease, it's still very much there but I dwell on it much less now my life has grown and I have a family of my own. I still have those moments when I can be doing something very ordinary then completely breakdown into tears because I've yet again remembered I am without her.

You'll always feel pain from this and it will always be ok for you to cry wherever you are. However, as time goes by you'll find yourself thinking of her slightly less - maybe a couple of times a day instead of all day. But don't feel guilty by this, it's a positive and very normal thing. I do hope you have someone in RL to talk to thanks

ssd Sun 06-Jul-14 21:33:15

op, you sound very similar to me, my mum died at the same time and I have older siblings who havent helped, I dont want to go into it here, but they havent helped.

it is very isolating, all my fiends still have at least 1 parent alive, thers no one I know in my situation who was so close to their mums as me and who have lost them.

it doesnt get easier, you just learn to hide it and bury your feelings, but they are always there. I had counselling, it helped a bit but nothing can bring her back, so all the counselling in the world wont change that.

I'm sorry, I'm sending you thanks in sympathy, and empathy.

its just lonely and heart breaking.

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