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Both my parents are gone

(13 Posts)
mytwoblackandwhitecats Sun 11-May-14 15:50:56

My dad died yesterday completely out of the blue. He was abroad. I am shocked.

My mum died when I was 16. This feels so so unfair.

KaFayOLay Sun 11-May-14 16:00:23

I'm sorry to read this sad.

Did he live abroad, or was he on his travels?

mytwoblackandwhitecats Sun 11-May-14 16:11:36

He was away on holiday, I am in pieces

mrsbrownsgirls Sun 11-May-14 16:17:35

oh no, you poor darling .
Do you have siblings? x

mytwoblackandwhitecats Sun 11-May-14 16:29:00

Yes, just the one brother but he needs much support sad

I stressed him out before he went, I feel it's my fault as I want to change careers and he was all "I don't think you should blah blah money blah blah financial commitments" we didn't argue but I feel like the stress I caused him caused his heart attack. We think it was a heart attack well it must have been.

tealady Sun 11-May-14 16:32:37

Please do not blame yourself. You did not cause this to happen, sad as it is to lose your Dad. I am very sorry for your loss.

SecretWitch Sun 11-May-14 16:37:24

I'm so very sorry. You have had such a shock. Is there anyone with you? Losing a parent is so hard on the heart. Even if we are adults, the death of a beloved parent can make you feel like an orphan. I promise you, you did NOT cause his death!

You will be making so many decisions in the coming days. I hope you have a DP or lovely friend to be with you. If you do not, you will make it through. Remember to take care of yourself, eat, drink and try to rest.
I will be thinking of you. Sending thoughts of peace..xx

mytwoblackandwhitecats Sun 11-May-14 16:39:21

Thank you. All my friends have been so kind but I feel so alone. BOTH my parents? Everyone I know who has lost both is well into their 50s. I should have had years with him, years.

I have friends my age with grandparents still alive. I don't resent that it just makes no sense. And I know it doesn't and it won't.

OurMiracle1106 Sun 11-May-14 16:52:26

Im so sorry. I like you have lost both my parents. My mum almost a year ago and my dad when I was a baby.It does feel very unfair. Both was taken by cancer. My mum I always thought would live forever.


OurMiracle1106 Sun 11-May-14 16:53:48

I should add I am only 25. So yes it does feel unfair. Very unfair. It still doesnt make sense to me. I don't think it will ever be fair.

SecretWitch Sun 11-May-14 16:53:55

Mytwo(I have two,also!) It won't ever make sense. I felt exactly the way you do when my dad died 14 years ago. He was too young and I thought I would have all the time in the world to say and do all the important things with him...

I hope the memories you have of your father will bring some comfort to you. The memories of love and being together. I so remember the terrible ache those first days and months brought. May the love and support of friends and family help you get through this time..many hugs..

OneStepCloser Sun 11-May-14 17:07:14

As SecretWitch says it will never make sense.

I`m so sorry.

I lost both of my parents when I was younger, they were both in their early 50s, my sister was still a young teenager. Ive come to terms with it, it has got easier but.....I dont know just but, sorry.

Take whatever help you can, counselling, leaning on friends, any other relatives (I didnt have any) anyone.

My memories are really lovely, very happy I only see them as young I have no concept as to what they would have been like old. The only comfort I have is seeing my inlaws getting very old, vunerable, loss of dignity and there is a part of me that is very glad that my parents (who would have hated that) never had that.

And they are together now.

mytwoblackandwhitecats Sun 11-May-14 17:08:57

Thank you for all your support. You are all so kind. X

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