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My dad died a year ago tomorrow.

(8 Posts)
Asleeponasunbeam Wed 07-May-14 22:08:36

I've never posted on the bereavement boards before. Mostly because I felt I had no right to, that my loss was much less significant than those experienced by others on here.

But counselling is working wonders and I feel like my experiences are valid and important.

I don't know what I want other people to say or do tomorrow (the anniversary). I know I can't expect anything of anyone really. I've spoken to my stepmum this week - she doesn't want to talk tomorrow. I've spoken to my auntie and she's very tearful. My mum doesn't say much in these circumstances. DH wouldn't have the faintest idea what to say, but he's away anyway.

I don't know what I'm asking, or trying to say, here. I suppose it'll be a day like any other!

DramaAlpaca Wed 07-May-14 22:55:46

Sorry for your loss Asleeponasunbeam flowers

duchesse Wed 07-May-14 23:01:09

Same horrid club. Mine died a year ago on the 13th of May. It's been worse lately than it was straight after he died- somehow more confusing and vague. I've had to dump a lot of voluntary work all of a sudden because my stress levels were rising and my health was suffering.

littleblackno Wed 07-May-14 23:05:48

It's so hard to know what to say. I've just looked at the date and realised that my dad died 2 months ago today.
I know what you mean about it seeming less significant than others you read on here. I feel it's only just sinking in for me and I'm only just allowing myself to really think about it. It feels like I've been so busy doing the practical stuff that I haven't been able to think about the emotional side of it all. Not like me as usually I'm really emotional.

Can you do something to remember your dad? Even if it's just you, something quiet (or loud). Take some time out of your day to think about him and remember something special maybe? Not sure I'm helping. I've no idea how I'll feel when it's the anniversary of my dad. Like you say in some ways it will be like any other day - yet different somehow.

AcrossthePond55 Wed 07-May-14 23:29:23

My dad has been gone 15 years this coming Sept. Today (May 7) would have been his 100th birthday. I still miss him, I was truly Daddy's Little Girl. He was a wonderful man, they just don't make them like that any more, that mold has been broken many years ago!

So, today I have shed a few tears, and quietly relived some wonderful times. I have told my family that I love & treasure them.

But the last thing my beloved Daddy would have wanted would have been to see me sad and crying. Because of that, I will love life, laugh at funny things, and treat myself with joy and kindness. Because that is what he would want me to do to truly honour him.

So sorry for your loss, Asleep, and you too, duchesse.

AcrossthePond55 Wed 07-May-14 23:30:37

and you too little since we x-posted.

cathpip Thu 08-May-14 01:38:43

I remember the first anniversary of my mums death, it was just like any other day but for me and my siblings it was also an incredibly hard and emotional day, much more so than I was expecting. Are you able to do something special or family orientated, I know this helped me, it does not need to be much, I did a family day trip to the local wildlife park....

Asleeponasunbeam Thu 08-May-14 06:44:41

Thanks, all of you, and sorry for your losses.

No chance of a nice family day here. Just a bloody Ofsted inspection and DH away!

I might look at and print off some photos tonight. We haven't got any around. It wasn't an easy relationship (another reason why I felt unable to grieve much), but I'm dealing with that now.

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