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Support for the death of an adult child

(15 Posts)
weatherheather Sat 29-Mar-14 23:17:01

Sorry for the title, didn't know how to phrase it. My dear sister has recently lost her only son, aged 20, I am looking for some sort of counselling/support for her.

There seems to be a lot out there for other types of bereavement but not specifically adult child bereavement, she has tried cruise and a doctors counsellor but hasn't got on with them. It's only been 6 months and I know that really she wants to talk to someone that has been through the same as herhmm.

It's heartbreaking seeing her like his and I want to do anything that can help apart from everything myself and close family are doing, she needs to speak to someone that has been through it, any ideas?

I miss my nephew so much and it has left a hole in our family but it is nothing compared to what my dear sister is going through, thank you in advance for any advice.

stleger Sat 29-Mar-14 23:25:03

Did he die suddenly, or had he been ill? Organisations which deal with specific conditions can be a good source of assistance. Somebody will know, if you give us an idea of the cause of his death.
It is a terrible time for her to get through, and for your whole family.

weatherheather Sat 29-Mar-14 23:41:17

Thank you for the reply, he died in a car accident as a passenger hmm he was in a coma for four days and then died, terrible time for everyone.

stleger Sun 30-Mar-14 00:03:21

IRVA is the Irish organisation, but they are affiliated to European groups; try their website maybe? (I am in Ireland!)
I am sure having someone who has been through a similar experience will help a bit. She isn't alone, sadly, plenty of other parents are going through similar times.

DrewsWife Sun 30-Mar-14 00:09:12

I am ever so sorry for the loss of your nephew xx

weatherheather Sun 30-Mar-14 12:29:51

Thank you both for your kind words. I will have a look at that website.

HeavenlyE Sun 30-Mar-14 14:06:25

Hello weather sorry for the loss of your nephew. Has your sister looked into the compassionate friends ? When you said she would like to talk to someone who has been through similar, it made me think of them. They have a forum for bereaved parents (of children of any age) and they also run local support groups for bereaved parents.

chickydoo Sun 30-Mar-14 14:14:43

Oh my goodness, your poor sister & you must still be in a state of disbelief. I am so very sorry for your loss. How cruel life can be.
I am sure someone will be along in a moment with some good suggestions.
Sending you thoughts and prayers.

weatherheather Sun 30-Mar-14 21:55:59

Thank you again for the kind words and support, I will definitely look at the websites and go over them with my sister. Been a terribly hard day for her today hmm

Meggi56 Wed 09-Mar-16 15:37:49

My son died 3yrs ago. He was 38. Late diagnosed cancer. Had just a month between diagnosis and his death. He died suddenly. Called to hospital, one awful afternoon. Next saw him dead. Never been allowed to mourn him. Hubby & younger son won't speak of grief. I'm alone.

SecretWitch Wed 09-Mar-16 15:53:09

So very sorry to everyone who has lost a child flowers My cousin, age 50, died very suddenly in August. He was in the services in Kenya and suffered a bleed in his brain. I am so very worried about my darling Aunty. She is struggling very much to cope with the loss of her son. I am always looking for ways to support her.

sugar21 Wed 09-Mar-16 16:00:25

These people have been helpful to me
www.muchloved.com/gateway/grief-support-organisations.htm

LuckyBitches Thu 10-Mar-16 15:21:51

Meggi56 - flowers

LilyTheSavage Thu 10-Mar-16 18:09:40

Hi. I'm so sorry about your darling nephew. It is such a terrible shock.

I lost my darling precious DS2 two and a half years ago in an accident. He was 21.

I did go to my GP to get some counselling but it was worse than useless. If you want your sister can pm me and I can talk to her about what I've done to get help. Even now I know that I don't function as well as I did before. I forget things, I know I'm intolerant of fuckwits, and other stuff which I won't go into here.

Compassionate Friends is helpful I believe (although haven't used them myself). I have quite a few friends - some through MN - who are also bereaved parents and talking to them is the most helpful thing for me. Other people can be kind and sympathetic but they don't really have any idea at all of what we're going through. How could they unless they've had the tragedy of a child dying of theirs? I sometimes thing I'm going mad, and talking to my other BP friends helps me to know that I'm not really crazy, but am just grieving my darling boy.

flowers for your sister and flowers for you

LilyTheSavage Thu 10-Mar-16 18:10:44

Just seen the date of the start of this thread. Please ignore my post if it's no longer relevant.

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