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Do you feel your loved one close by?

(6 Posts)
Fayrazzled Thu 20-Mar-14 13:06:03

My mum died 7 weeks ago. I don't feel I am properly grieving for her yet. Life continues as normal and although the tears are never very far away I am coping well and haven't had any melt downs or anything like that. Friends keep telling me how well I am doing but I am finding it difficult to open up to them and cry in front of them. I think I'm just keeping it all in.

One of the things I am finding hard is that I get no sense of mum being close by. I have a faith and believe she is in heaven but I don't 'feel' her near me and that makes me so sad. I would love to feel her presence in an almost physical way but I don't. I haven't even dreamt of her. It really does feel she has gone. Perhaps she has and I just need to accept that. I talk about her with my family and friends so it's not that she's not alive though our memories, she is. Am I just hoping for something that's never going to happen? Perhaps I am going a bit bonkers?!

magimedi Thu 20-Mar-14 13:11:50

I don't think you are going bonkers at all.

Grief is different for everyone in how it affects you & seven weeks is not a long time at all.

When my mother died, twenty years ago (alzheimers) I did not dream about her for at least a year. Now I often dream of her.

Be easy on yourself & take care to eat properly & get rest & exercise.


Mojito100 Thu 20-Mar-14 13:27:48

It may happen for you. I think what you describe others have felt too but grief is different for all of us. Don't be hard on yourself.

Jinty64 Fri 21-Mar-14 22:22:13

As magimedi says it was quite a long time after mum died that I first dreamt about her. I think it's like a state of shock to begin with and difficult to feel anything. I now dream about her a fair bit.

kerstina Sat 22-Mar-14 08:22:53

I am a lot like you in that I keep it all hidden its like I put on a brave face. It is more a tension, an uptightness that I don't quite know what to do about. My jaw has been clicking more than ever meaning I am grinding my teeth at night. I do feel like my dad is still with me that he is part of me and that won't change. Genes? But I could just not be facing things yet and think it will hit me more at a later date.
I have worried for years about anything happening to my parents as I have stayed really close to them but I do feel that this worry actually has helped me when the worst did happen if that makes sense. I have a feeling this might be another difference in introverts and extroverts.

t875 Sat 22-Mar-14 15:05:38

So very sorry for your loss. I didn't dream about my mum until 6 months after she passed. I had a lot of strange things and conincidences happens I miss my mum immensly but I can't explain this but when I need my mum or something great has happened with me or my girls or my dad she is there. I can feel her. I also have had a lot of white fluffy feathers, random hearts random 1 p pieces and 5 p pieces randomly appear. I have also been to a psychic and really did give me strong proof my mum along with other relatives were always around us and looking out for me.

I lost my mum to unexpectedly to the point I went to bed after saying good night and speak in the morning to my mum dying in her sleep of a massive stroke so I really needed this clarification she was ok I was in deep shock and still find it hard on and off now. But it has got a little easier.
My thoughts are with you x we have a thread here for the loss of a parent always in the top part of the thread. Please come there if you need a chat or support x

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