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Birthday card from MIL

(7 Posts)
LemonEmmaP Sun 16-Mar-14 12:57:39

Today is my birthday. This morning, my wonderful, lovely mother in law passed away sad. DH is with his family, some 200 miles away - I don't know if he'll come back today or not. I knew that DH had a card for me that he'd brought back with him last time we visited his family, so I've opened it. It's from MIL sad sad sad.

I'm sad that someone so lovely has died. Im sad that DH has lost his mum. I'm sad that DH is 200 miles away, and not with me. And, I'm sad that my birthday will always be the anniversary of MIL's death.

If anyone has any experience of 'sharing' their own special day with something so sad, I'd love to know how you manage things.

clam Sun 16-Mar-14 13:06:45

I'm afraid I don't know, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry to hear this. sad

Don't suppose if it's appropriate to say 'happy birthday' but you know what I mean. thanks

LemonEmmaP Sun 16-Mar-14 13:40:16

Thank you clam, flowers are appreciated

Stokes Sun 16-Mar-14 13:44:52

My best friend died two days after my 25th birthday, which was spent waiting for the phonecall.

I have to say, I don't like my birthday and try to avoid it as much as possible. But, I've always been a bit like that, and it does get a bit easier each year. This year it's my 30th and I've scheduled a couple of little, no celebrations, but outings.

Don't make any decisions yet, obviously your birthday just won't happen this year, but in future years you and your DH may feel able to celebrate, or maybe you won't. But you probably can't know today when it's all so raw.

I'm very sorry for your loss, and your DH's, and I hope you all get through the next few days as easily as possible.

Mintyy Sun 16-Mar-14 13:51:49

Oh I'm so sorry for the loss of your lovely mil. I expect you will treasure that card forever now.

I'm sure that people will be very sad on the anniversary of her death for a few years, but in time it will become your birthday again.

I have the 3rd anniversary of my father's death coming up, but having been through it now a couple of times, it is starting to seem less daunting.

Jbck Sun 16-Mar-14 14:21:37

DH's Dad died on a big birthday of mine, I didn't know DH at the time but met him several months later.

I did know of the coincidence through a friend though, story will out me though if anyone knows me here.

It was hard the first few years for various reasons but only to us really obviously my own friends and family still saw it as my birthday.

You'll find a way and you can still celebrate with others not as close to MIL in time.

Take care of yourself and DH when he comes home.

PS-I have several cards from relatives and sadly a friend now gone and I put up some at Christmas (Christmas ones not birthdays, I'm not daft smile)

magimedi Tue 18-Mar-14 15:18:18

My Dad dies 26 years ago & my Mum 20 years ago. I think of them & mourn them more on their respective birthdays & wedding anniversary than I do on the day they died nowadays. I like to remember the good times, not the sadness & that is how I would want to be remembered.

flowers for you, your DH & your lovely MIL.

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