Today is my birthday. This morning, my wonderful, lovely mother in law passed away . DH is with his family, some 200 miles away - I don't know if he'll come back today or not. I knew that DH had a card for me that he'd brought back with him last time we visited his family, so I've opened it. It's from MIL .
I'm that someone so lovely has died. Im that DH has lost his mum. I'm that DH is 200 miles away, and not with me. And, I'm that my birthday will always be the anniversary of MIL's death.
If anyone has any experience of 'sharing' their own special day with something so sad, I'd love to know how you manage things.
My best friend died two days after my 25th birthday, which was spent waiting for the phonecall.
I have to say, I don't like my birthday and try to avoid it as much as possible. But, I've always been a bit like that, and it does get a bit easier each year. This year it's my 30th and I've scheduled a couple of little, no celebrations, but outings.
Don't make any decisions yet, obviously your birthday just won't happen this year, but in future years you and your DH may feel able to celebrate, or maybe you won't. But you probably can't know today when it's all so raw.
I'm very sorry for your loss, and your DH's, and I hope you all get through the next few days as easily as possible.
My Dad dies 26 years ago & my Mum 20 years ago. I think of them & mourn them more on their respective birthdays & wedding anniversary than I do on the day they died nowadays. I like to remember the good times, not the sadness & that is how I would want to be remembered.