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Lost twin sibling at birth (sibling not your own child) do you feel the loss?

7 replies

sherbetpips · 10/01/2014 22:37

I was made aware since I was tiny that I was a twin and my twin sister was stillborn. I was also given my twins name as frankly dad didn't like the one chosen for me! I have been reading a lot of blogs and articles about the sense of loss some lone twins feel. I am one of four so I am not lacking in family but whilst I have to admit to being utterly miserable if left alone and to not liking 'me time' that's it. The stories I have read show that twins feel a really sense of loss some twenty or thirty years on which I don't really understand. So other lone twins (from childbirth) how do you feel?

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MissPB · 11/01/2014 21:51

Hello I am not in your position but my mum was. Her twin died when they were a few months old. Even now she feels as if a part of her would be more easily explained if her twin was here. Does that make sense? I am sorry x

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Onesleeptillwembley · 11/01/2014 21:57

I am, and I also have twin siblings. Honestly? It doesn't really figure in my life. In fact I can't remember the last time it even crossed my mind.
Can I ask, how did you get the dead ones name? Surely they wouldn't have known which was which before birth?

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Onesleeptillwembley · 11/01/2014 21:58

Sorry, maybe I should add my twin was stillborn. We didn't have time together outside the womb.

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sherbetpips · 15/01/2014 12:20

Onesleeptillwembley they had decided on our two names, when I was born mum said okay well she is 'X'. 'Y' didnt survive. When dad got to the registry office he chose the Y's name instead of the one mum had asked me to be! She wasnt happy when she saw the birth certificate!

I should have been Lucinda, after some horseriding lady I think.
I agree that it doesnt figure in my life, it was interesting reading the articles although they rather smacked of 'something is wrong in my life... oh it must be because I lost my twin'.

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Onesleeptillwembley · 15/01/2014 12:51

Crickey I'm not surprised your mum wasn't impressed.
As to the feelings of something missing, maybe we all feel that at some point in our lives to a greater or lesser degree. Having something to attach those feelings to is convenient for a lot of people as it can justify some unhappiness or discontent (sorry that's not meant in the horrible way it sounds).