My feed
Premium

Please
or
to access all these features

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

my baby girl died.

175 replies

SupermansBigRedBottleOfSpirits · 15/11/2013 16:54

My beautiful amazing baby dd2, Summer, died 2 weeks ago yesterday. Her heart was unable to pump blood properly. We never knew until it was too late. She was 11 weeks and 6 days old. I spent most of that day shopping, then at a Halloween party with the other dc. I missed most of my sum sums last day. Dp had to see to her himself, our poor baby not breathing, already gone, in her sleep.

I miss her. And it hurts. Ds turned 2 two days after she passed. If it wasn't for him and dd1 I'd be a screaming wreck in a padded cell. I'm sick of being strong now. I I want my sweet precious baby back.

OP posts:
Report
OneStepCloser · 15/11/2013 16:58

Darling, ((((hugs)))) Summer, what a beautiful name. I`m so so sorry xx

Report
lougle · 15/11/2013 16:58

I'm so sorry. There is nothing that will make it better. I hope you have a good network of support to get you through the next weeks and months.

Report
TeaAndANatter · 15/11/2013 16:59

I'm so very, very sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard this must be for you right now. I have no personal experience of the loss of a child once it's born (just mc), but didn't want to read and run.

It read like you blame yourself for not being with her that day as much, or for not being the one to find her. There was nothing that you could have done that would have changed this. You didn't know, and you couldn't have changed this even if you had been there. I'm so sorry that it feels like you missed her last day.

Sending all love possible, and will hold you and your family in my thoughts. xx

Report
MayTheOddsBeEverInYourFavour · 15/11/2013 17:02

I'm so so sorry for your loss

Rest peacefully beautiful baby Summer xxx

Report
kilmuir · 15/11/2013 17:02

So sorry, x

Report
SupermansBigRedBottleOfSpirits · 15/11/2013 17:03

Thank you both, I wasn't expecting replies I just needed to write it down. I have more support than I ever knew, friends and family have been amazing, her funeral service and wake were amazing, the sun was out and nobody argued.

OP posts:
Report
LittleTulip · 15/11/2013 17:03

I am so sorry for your loss.

Report
RedundantExpat · 15/11/2013 17:05

that is so sad. I am very sorry for you.

Report
Thatsnotmychicken · 15/11/2013 17:05

Am so sorry please take care

Report
SupermansBigRedBottleOfSpirits · 15/11/2013 17:06

I do blame myself, stupidly I know but every day I saw to her, took her out etc and that one day I took the older 2 and not her. Dp was spending time with her her because he usually seen to ds. We thought we were being unfair and now I just want that day back, to sit in the house with her and hold her all day long.

OP posts:
Report
Straitjacket · 15/11/2013 17:07

I am so very sorry for your loss. I know nothing will make it better, but please don't blame yourself as you wasn't to know.

Keeping you and your family in my thoughts. Remember that there is always someone here available to talk xx

Report
Ledkr · 15/11/2013 17:07

I am sorry too. You will get lots of support here.
Can't imagine how you feel.
Don't need to be too strong all the time, allow yourself the time you need.
Would it help to tell us all about her?

Report
LovePotatoes · 15/11/2013 17:09

I am so sorry for your loss. Words will never be able to overcome such a precious and beautiful loss....i just wanted to let you know that you and your family are in my thoughts x

Report
nearlyreadytopop · 15/11/2013 17:16

I am so sorry for your loss.Thanks

Report
CrockedPot · 15/11/2013 17:17

So, so sorry, nothing else I can say xxx

Report
SupermansBigRedBottleOfSpirits · 15/11/2013 17:17

She was incredible. Redish blonde hair. Big boogly blue eyed. Elf ears. Beautiful peachy skin and tound cheeks, she'd have been an smazing wee model :).Always poking her tongue out. She had started paying attention to when I'd left the room, I'd peekaboo behind the door at her she loved it. She copied dp's silly faces when we put her to bed. She loved her seahorse which is/was ds' s. She always needed something soft in her hand - muslin, bib, blanket taggy toy. She was cutting her bottom left tooth, I only noticed that morning. I bought her a teething toothbrush that afternoon. She used to cuddle in my arms and watch everyone, I sang songs with summer in them to her. We played mungo Jerry at the funeral.

OP posts:
Report
noddyholder · 15/11/2013 17:19

I am so sorry for your loss x

Report
ajandjjmum · 15/11/2013 17:21

So sorry for the loss of Summer - she sounds like a real little character.

Report
Weegiemum · 15/11/2013 17:22

I'm so sorry to hear about your lovely Summer xxx

Report
decaffwithcream · 15/11/2013 17:22

She sounds beautiful. Beautiful name. So sorry for your loss.

Report
BoreOfWhabylon · 15/11/2013 17:23

I am so very sorry for your loss.

RIP little Summer.

Forever young.

Report
LunaticFringe · 15/11/2013 17:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Viviennemary · 15/11/2013 17:29

That is so sad. I am very sorry to hear this. Flowers

Report
IfIDontKnowAndYouDontKnow · 15/11/2013 17:30

I'm so sorry for your loss. What a beautiful name. x x

Report
Mintyy · 15/11/2013 17:33

What an enormous loss! Summer sounds like an absolute delight. I am so truly deeply sorry that you are all suffering like this. I hope you have wonderful rl friends and family to support you X

Report
Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.