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Miss my son so much

(695 Posts)
LilyTheSavage Sun 10-Nov-13 15:36:57

My beautiful middle son died on 10th August in a tragic and needless accident. It's three months today and I feel just as bereft and weighted with grief and sorrow as I did the day he died. It's very hard to bear. There must surely be others who have had this happen too.

EggnoggAndMulledWine Sun 01-Jan-17 23:05:30

I'm so sorry for your loss I can't even comprehend it 💐

DollyPlastic Sun 01-Jan-17 23:03:33

Lots of love to you, Lily.

LilyTheSavage Sun 01-Jan-17 22:44:08

And so another year begins without you my darling. I look for signs from you everywhere I go. Robins. The first and brightest star every night. Anything that might bring a scrap of comfort.

How can it be?

Thank you for the kindness of your messages Mojito, lauren marie, plymouth and min. Kindness helps.

littlejimmybrighterfuturefund Sat 31-Dec-16 20:50:23

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

laurenmarie88 Thu 29-Dec-16 14:52:22

I'm sorry for your loss and send big hugs xxxx I know it must be hard to talk about him but just try and remember the happy memories you have and look at photos he will be watching over you all xxxx

Mojito100 Thu 29-Dec-16 14:39:26

You are in my mind and thoughts Paddy. Wishing you were here with your mum and dad.

PlymouthMaid1 Sun 25-Dec-16 11:11:49

Xx

minmooch Sun 25-Dec-16 10:57:11

Darling Paddy.

Thinking of you my darling friend xxxxx

NavyandWhite Sat 24-Dec-16 15:16:19

Sending love from one mum to another ❤️

Mojito100 Sat 24-Dec-16 12:40:01

I know about hiding away and the need for that and then the need at times to come back to MN to feel not quite so alone. It is Christmas eve here for me already and before I know it another Christmas Day will have passed without our loved ones being physically present with us and sharing in the joy they should be a part of. You will be in my mind and heart tomorrow as you are now.

LilyTheSavage Fri 23-Dec-16 21:35:04

flowers 3littlebadgers Sending love and light to you too.

3littlebadgers Fri 23-Dec-16 20:09:25

Oh Lily that is beautiful. Your love for your darling Paddy goes on, it is stronger than death, it keeps you linked to him and him to you.

For paddy flowers

And for all of our missing children flowers

LilyTheSavage Fri 23-Dec-16 20:04:03

Thank you dear Mojito for all your messages. I haven't been here lately because sometimes it's just best to hide away with my head under my wing.

My darling Paddy. Always on my mind. Always in my thoughts. Always at the front of everything I do. To be honest, I am struggling without you being here. Your cheeky grin. Your tight squeezy hugs. Your noise. Your smell. You cuddling your dog. Everything is tainted with your loss. Your absence.

I have flowers to make into a wreath for you and a little Christmas tree and candles which I shall take to you tomorrow night so that they can burn through the night. Light you up. It's so wrong that I am buying you flowers for Christmas. You should be here with us.

People are so happy and jolly and I just want to hide away and be alone. But I can't. Life is so hard to bear.

I miss you with every beat of my heart. My darling boy.

Mojito100 Thu 22-Dec-16 12:37:04

I'm thinking if you all the time at the moment. You are just constantly with me. It helps.

Mojito100 Sun 18-Dec-16 12:47:46

It was lovely to get your email and also your note on MN. I know just how you are feeling and wish I was there for you at the moment. So many big events this year in your life and now matter how wonderful your family are and making the most of their lives your beloved Paddy is never far from your thoughts and should also be doing all they are. Big events just make it more prominent that he isn't with you living his life as he deserves.

Mojito100 Thu 15-Dec-16 21:49:22

I've been thinking if you so much lately. Hope all is ok. flowerscakebrewwine

Mojito100 Sun 11-Dec-16 12:52:19

I had coffee this morning and sat thinking of you and Paddy. I have missed that quiet time in the morning.

Mojito100 Wed 07-Dec-16 02:56:20

flowers

Mojito100 Mon 05-Dec-16 13:55:02

I have missed you my dearest friend. My need to see you on mumsnet and send little notes is high at the moment. I'm missing my coffee routines where I can think of you and Paddy. I need some if that comfort back in my life. flowersbrewwine.

RoxAcrossThePond Thu 15-Sep-16 07:41:48

Lily, may the memory of your son be eternal, worthy of blessedness and ever to be remembered. May Christ give rest to Paddy's soul, where sickness and sorrow are no more, neither sighing, but life everlasting.

Simmi1 Fri 09-Sep-16 12:25:48

Oh Lily, I hope DS1's wedding went well. I totally understand your feelings about life being great one minute and then being turned upside down the next. I guess we just have to go one for our DCs who are still here. Lots of love to you and your darling Paddy. Btw I really think the name tag was a sign for him to you flowers

magimedi Wed 10-Aug-16 11:15:47

Thinking of you & Paddy today.

flowers

LilyTheSavage Thu 04-Aug-16 06:25:08

Thanks magi flowers

It's coming up to my darling Paddy's third anniversary and I"m really struggling. Everything is just so overwhelming and the sadness is constantly here, even more so. I feel that he's so far away and sometimes it's as if he's never even existed but I'm surrounded by memories. Even the happy memories just reinforce that he's gone. How can such a vibrant life just be stopped? I'm busy getting the garden ready for my DS1's wedding in three weeks and this should be a happy and joyful time but it just underlines Paddy's absence even more so. Two days ago was the last time that I saw my lovely boy. How can this be.

I miss my treasured boy so much.

magimedi Sun 31-Jul-16 22:30:57

flowers Lily.

There is nothing I can say that can help you. But I do look in here & look out for you & think of you often. That's the only, very,very small thing I can give to you.

LilyTheSavage Fri 29-Jul-16 13:46:57

Just seen something on my FB timeline. This time three years ago I was varnishing the snug floor and had no idea at all that in less than two weeks our lives were going to be turned completely upside down.

The pain and grief doesn't go away. I am just better at pretending and keeping my mask firmly in place. I miss my darling boy so much. I can't bear to think that he was on his own when he died. Did he have even the smallest moment of fear or of knowing? I will never know. It tears me to pieces.

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