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Flowers seem so pointless

(9 Posts)
Loonytoonie Sat 09-Nov-13 11:39:30

A friend has just lost her baby boy. He was just days old when he died.

A group of friends have suggested sending flowers but I feel that flowers are such an empty gesture. I know they just want to reach out to her, but after my loss, I hated the flowers I was sent eventually, because it was just a matter of days before they died too sad.

scottishmummy Sat 09-Nov-13 12:29:38

How dreadful for your friend,she'll really need a pal.its hellish
I agree about the flowers,they too become symbolic of death too gloomy
I think a card genuinely written with honest sentiment and offer of listening is better

christinarossetti Sun 10-Nov-13 22:11:58

I completely agree with you about the unhelpfulness of flowers - I absolutely hated receiving them when our daughter died.

I completely appreciated every single card that we received though.

onepieceoflollipop Sun 10-Nov-13 22:16:48

Yes, definitely a card. Agree what others have said re flowers.
So sad for your friend.

LilyTheSavage Mon 11-Nov-13 16:43:44

Hi. I don't agree with everybody. My son (21) died very recently and I was touched to receive flowers from friends and I greatly appreciated the flowers at his funeral as we made it a big celebration of his life and the flowers made it so much more beautiful. My son was a tree surgeon and a few friends have dedicated trees in memorial woodlands to his memory (in several countries) and also have planted trees in his memory.

I would also say that your friend will need you even more a couple of months downline when a lot will forget that she is still grieving.

She's lucky to have a friend like you. Good luck..... and don't be afraid to cry with her and grieve with her.

Much love to you all. XXX

Loonytoonie Mon 11-Nov-13 18:34:21

There are no words sad
I am truly sorry for your loss.

I am crying at the sheer injustice of it all.

Whatevertheweather Mon 11-Nov-13 18:44:13

I really appreciated the flowers we received when dd2 died. We had lots of beautiful bouquets and it was nice to look at something lovely even though we were in bits. I know everyone differs on this though.

Alexandra's Angel Gifts have some beautiful baby loss gifts. The angel comfort box is lovely

You sound a lovely friend

LilyTheSavage Mon 11-Nov-13 22:27:13

Thank you Loonytoonie. xx

LoveAndDeath Tue 12-Nov-13 10:16:09

After my daughter died, I did like the flowers people brought but when they died it was awful.
What some lovely MNers did for me was to buy some roses to plant. It is a lot better as at least the flowers live on and come back every year.

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