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My mum died

(26 Posts)
Numberlock Sun 22-Sep-13 02:22:30

My mum died today, well technically yesterday but I can't sleep so to me it's still today.

She was 87 with dementia.

I was in Bath when it happened taking my son to his first year at uni.

We both went to say goodbye to her before we left. Even though she was very confused (hadn't eaten, drank, taken meds for the best part of 7 weeks), I believe that she understood I would be away for the day so decided to slip away while her grandson was about to start out on his new life.

I got the call from the home as we were unpacking all his stuff.

As I drove back home, a 3 hour drive, there was one of the most wonderful sunsets I've ever seen. Until recently she lived by the seaside in a town famous for its sunsets.

I like to think it was a sign. smile

greenhill Fri 04-Oct-13 10:10:58

Thinking of you today and sending you strength. (I tried to send a PM earlier, but it didn't work)

twentyten Fri 04-Oct-13 10:00:55

Just caught up with your story- I am so sorry. How are you doing? You have so much going on.

Numberlock Mon 23-Sep-13 10:16:46

Well it doesn't matter now I guess but best practice and all that...

mummytime Mon 23-Sep-13 10:16:39

NO! That is awful.

When my Uncle died and my cousin phoned, even then they just left a message to ask me to phone them. (I kind of guessed as that cousin had never phoned before or since, his sister does very occasionally.)

I am so sad for your loss, and that sunset sounds wonderful.

YoniMatopoeia Mon 23-Sep-13 10:14:11

Erm.. I would say not sad

Numberlock Mon 23-Sep-13 10:10:04

Only just got round to listening to my mobile phone messages from Saturday.

Is it really acceptable to tell someone by voice mail that their mum has passed away?

greenhill Sun 22-Sep-13 16:36:40

Hope you had a good lunch with your friend. The sunset sounds lovely, I'm glad you could take some comfort from it. flowers

YoniMatopoeia Sun 22-Sep-13 11:15:12

So sorry for your loss. I lost my mum in Feb. Be kind to yourself. When people offer help, take it

Numberlock Sun 22-Sep-13 11:08:21


Colette - yes I agree about still feeling their presence. I didn't think it through yesterday but if I'd have carried on up the motorway last night that would have been the sunset she'd seen at her home for the last 50 years (minus 7 weeks).

colette Sun 22-Sep-13 11:02:50

So sorry. My dm died last October.
It sounds like she wanted to go, I think there is a short time when you can still feel their prescence -the sunset sounds like apart of that. Look after yourself

headlesslambrini Sun 22-Sep-13 11:01:45

sorry for your loss number xx

Numberlock Sun 22-Sep-13 10:57:34

Ps. My eldest two are twins and the other goes to uni next weekend.

I like to think my mum gave me a week off work to be with him that I wouldn't otherwise have had.

Numberlock Sun 22-Sep-13 10:55:40

Many thanks everyone.

Taking it a day at a time.

Not much I can do today as it's Sunday. My friend is cooking Sunday lunch for me and my boys.

Have told my boss and colleagues so early part of next week covered wrk wise. Will start on practical stuff tomorrow.

FortyFacedFuckers Sun 22-Sep-13 09:15:59

So sorry take care of yourself xx

Doilooklikeatourist Sun 22-Sep-13 09:01:18

So sorry to hear of your loss Numberlock
At my MIL funeral , we all saw a small tortoiseshell butterfly flitting above the flowers on the coffin
We knew it was a sign that MIL was free from pain and at peace .
So yes I'm sure the sunset was especially beautiful for you .

whimsy Sun 22-Sep-13 09:00:26

So sorry for your loss, Numberlock x

I have reported the spam post below

stantonherzlinger Sun 22-Sep-13 08:54:54

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

50ShadesofXmas Sun 22-Sep-13 08:37:14

Sorry for your loss numberlock, would it help to tell us more about your mum?

Numberlock Sun 22-Sep-13 02:36:02

Thanks Princess.

Is there a special significance with magpies as I've read similar things before?

Numberlock Sun 22-Sep-13 02:34:24

Apart from the dementia, she was always a young 'old person' so you were right first time grin.

PrincessGrotbags Sun 22-Sep-13 02:33:38

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

I have seen 2 magpies at the burials of the 3 closest people I have lost. (Different cemeteries and years apart). I too like to see it as a sign that loved ones want me to know they are at peace in a good place.


Numberlock Sun 22-Sep-13 02:31:27

I l

Numberlock Sun 22-Sep-13 02:31:10

Thank you. She had to move care homes for the last 7 weeks of her life due to the dementia and she was so miserable in the new place. So yes she is at peace now thankfully.

mrspaddy Sun 22-Sep-13 02:28:18

Sorry I Haven't my glasses on... Misread her age. I am sure you a glad ah is at peace... Night night to you hope you rest

mrspaddy Sun 22-Sep-13 02:26:32

May your lovely mother rest in peace.. Yes I do believe there is a bit of control a the very end as my aunt splpped away with only the relatives who were stronger in dealing with loss..

Be kind to yourself... Young woman she was x x x x

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