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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

My mum died

25 replies

Numberlock · 22/09/2013 02:22

My mum died today, well technically yesterday but I can't sleep so to me it's still today.

She was 87 with dementia.

I was in Bath when it happened taking my son to his first year at uni.

We both went to say goodbye to her before we left. Even though she was very confused (hadn't eaten, drank, taken meds for the best part of 7 weeks), I believe that she understood I would be away for the day so decided to slip away while her grandson was about to start out on his new life.

I got the call from the home as we were unpacking all his stuff.

As I drove back home, a 3 hour drive, there was one of the most wonderful sunsets I've ever seen. Until recently she lived by the seaside in a town famous for its sunsets.

I like to think it was a sign.

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mrspaddy · 22/09/2013 02:26

May your lovely mother rest in peace.. Yes I do believe there is a bit of control a the very end as my aunt splpped away with only the relatives who were stronger in dealing with loss..

Be kind to yourself... Young woman she was x x x x

mrspaddy · 22/09/2013 02:28

Sorry I Haven't my glasses on... Misread her age. I am sure you a glad ah is at peace... Night night to you hope you rest

Numberlock · 22/09/2013 02:31

Thank you. She had to move care homes for the last 7 weeks of her life due to the dementia and she was so miserable in the new place. So yes she is at peace now thankfully.

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Numberlock · 22/09/2013 02:31

I l

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PrincessGrotbags · 22/09/2013 02:33

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

I have seen 2 magpies at the burials of the 3 closest people I have lost. (Different cemeteries and years apart). I too like to see it as a sign that loved ones want me to know they are at peace in a good place.

Xx

Numberlock · 22/09/2013 02:34

Apart from the dementia, she was always a young 'old person' so you were right first time .

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Numberlock · 22/09/2013 02:36

Thanks Princess.

Is there a special significance with magpies as I've read similar things before?

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50ShadesofXmas · 22/09/2013 08:37

Sorry for your loss numberlock, would it help to tell us more about your mum?

stantonherzlinger · 22/09/2013 08:54

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

whimsy · 22/09/2013 09:00

So sorry for your loss, Numberlock x

I have reported the spam post below

Doilooklikeatourist · 22/09/2013 09:01

So sorry to hear of your loss Numberlock
At my MIL funeral , we all saw a small tortoiseshell butterfly flitting above the flowers on the coffin
We knew it was a sign that MIL was free from pain and at peace .
So yes I'm sure the sunset was especially beautiful for you .

FortyFacedFuckers · 22/09/2013 09:15

So sorry take care of yourself xx

Numberlock · 22/09/2013 10:55

Many thanks everyone.

Taking it a day at a time.

Not much I can do today as it's Sunday. My friend is cooking Sunday lunch for me and my boys.

Have told my boss and colleagues so early part of next week covered wrk wise. Will start on practical stuff tomorrow.

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Numberlock · 22/09/2013 10:57

Ps. My eldest two are twins and the other goes to uni next weekend.

I like to think my mum gave me a week off work to be with him that I wouldn't otherwise have had.

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headlesslambrini · 22/09/2013 11:01

sorry for your loss number xx

colette · 22/09/2013 11:02

So sorry. My dm died last October.
It sounds like she wanted to go, I think there is a short time when you can still feel their prescence -the sunset sounds like apart of that. Look after yourself

Numberlock · 22/09/2013 11:08

Thanks.

Colette - yes I agree about still feeling their presence. I didn't think it through yesterday but if I'd have carried on up the motorway last night that would have been the sunset she'd seen at her home for the last 50 years (minus 7 weeks).

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YoniMatopoeia · 22/09/2013 11:15

So sorry for your loss. I lost my mum in Feb. Be kind to yourself. When people offer help, take it

greenhill · 22/09/2013 16:36

Hope you had a good lunch with your friend. The sunset sounds lovely, I'm glad you could take some comfort from it.

Numberlock · 23/09/2013 10:10

Only just got round to listening to my mobile phone messages from Saturday.

Is it really acceptable to tell someone by voice mail that their mum has passed away?

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YoniMatopoeia · 23/09/2013 10:14

Erm.. I would say not

mummytime · 23/09/2013 10:16

NO! That is awful.

When my Uncle died and my cousin phoned, even then they just left a message to ask me to phone them. (I kind of guessed as that cousin had never phoned before or since, his sister does very occasionally.)

I am so sad for your loss, and that sunset sounds wonderful.

Numberlock · 23/09/2013 10:16

Well it doesn't matter now I guess but best practice and all that...

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twentyten · 04/10/2013 10:00

Just caught up with your story- I am so sorry. How are you doing? You have so much going on.

greenhill · 04/10/2013 10:10

Thinking of you today and sending you strength. (I tried to send a PM earlier, but it didn't work)

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