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Reading a poem at Nan's funeral without crying

(12 Posts)
HenriettaChicken Thu 19-Sep-13 21:59:36

My lovely Nan died yesterday. I will be reading a fairly emotional poem at her funeral. I want to do it, but I just don't know how I will get through it without crying.

I would love some advice so I can help give her a wonderful tribute.

ThePuffyShirt Thu 19-Sep-13 22:01:59

Read it out loud as much as you can beforehand, and to an audience if possible.

But it really doesn't matter if you're wobbly reading it.

mikkii Thu 19-Sep-13 22:09:59

I'm really sorry for your loss.

I read at the funeral of my beloved FIL.

When DH's cousin saw me go up to read, she was speechless (mainly as we are the 2 biggest blubbers in the family).

There were a few things I did to get through the reading:

I was anti social before the service so I was not already blubbing;
I had practiced lots so I was less likely to stumble over my words;
I did not look at the congregation whilst reading, instead looking over their heads;
Finally, I gave myself a good talking to, telling myself this was the last thing I could do for him and I was going to make him proud!

Incidentally, to make matters worse, I arrived in he church o discover the BBC were filming the funeral for a programme about coroners.

Good luck.

Vinividivino Thu 19-Sep-13 22:11:50

I'm so sorry for your loss. My beloved Granny died nearly a year ago and I miss her so much. I gave the eulogy at her funeral and, like you, was so worried that I wouldn't be able to hold it together but I did, right until the last two words. Do it for your Nan. Take deep breaths, smile at your audience when you get to the front and remember it really doesn't matter if you stop, choke up or stumble, everyone there will be rooting for you and will totally understand. Best of luck and big hugs.

2kidsintow Thu 19-Sep-13 22:25:04

You'll be fine.

I had to read a moving poem at my FIL's funeral at the request of my lovely MIL.
I practiced several times in the run up, but tried hard not to think too much about the meaning of the words.

I focused on the fact that this was my way of paying respect.

I did feel that the service sort of flew by as I was just waiting for my part.

It was after I'd read it and could relax that the emotions took over. xx

Wigeon Thu 19-Sep-13 22:32:00

Very sorry to read about your Nan.

I read at my cousin's funeral. She was only 29 and died v suddenly, so it was extremely emotional. As well as practising beforehand, outloud, what really got me through it was taking my DH up with me and holding his hand throughout the reading (he just stood there). And not looking at anyone while I read - terrible advice for public speaking usually, but in this case necessary.

kissmyheathenass Thu 19-Sep-13 22:37:49

I sobbed through my poem at my dads funeral last year but I managed to read it all from beginning to end which was a big achievement considering how I felt. I focussed on the words and didnt look at anyone. I did have some diazepam which helped. It's a funeral, there will be lots of tears. Don't worry.

kissmyheathenass Thu 19-Sep-13 22:38:54

And sorry for your loss .

dramajustfollowsme Thu 19-Sep-13 22:39:18

I read at both my grandma and mum's funeral. I would say try not to look at people that will set you off.
There was two of us for each funeral. Mum and I for my grandma then my sister and I for my mum a year later. sad I think having someone else who could take over helped me.
I did wobble at my mum's funeral but I regained my composure. No-one will think any less of you if you wobble or can't finish it.
Good luck, and your nan will be proud of you for even trying.

HenriettaChicken Thu 19-Sep-13 23:02:32

Thank you all so much. I'm on the verge of crying just reading your lovely, supportive, helpful comments (which doesn't bode well, but...)

I will practice with my DH, take a deep breath & do it for my Nan.

BlueSkyandRain Sun 22-Sep-13 23:41:41

I'm sorry for your loss henrietta .
I would second the not looking at anyone advice, and also suggest letting yourself have a big cry a little while before the funeral. At my son's funeral it was really important to me to read the things I'd chosen, and as someone who normally cries at anything remotely soppy, I wasn't sure I'd manage it. I cried in the morning beforehand and so I was able to hold it together for a little time, as I'd already let some of it out. I actually didn't look at anyone at all during the whole thing (for some reason I just couldn't), I'm sure if I'd caught anyone's eye whilst speaking I wouldn't have managed it.
Hugs and good luck.

ohnoherewego Mon 23-Sep-13 22:09:56

Second having a back up plan .Knowing that my sister would take over if I couldn't go on definitely helped me read at DM@s funeral

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