Feel like I'm back to square 1

[HHH3]

On June 1st DS2's dad committed suicide. Things have been up and down but I've been coping - admittedly by trying very hard not to think about it.

This evening I've had some news which has brought it all flooding back. And has also made it seem so pointless.

I'm laying with my precious, precious little boy, listening to him quietly snoring, and absolutely breaking my heart. I don't even know how to explain how I feel or what I'm thinking.

There's no real point to this post - I just need to say it I guess. It's like I'm grieving on his behalf right now.

[BranchingOut]

I am not sure what to say, apart from sorry. However, I didn't want to leave your post unanswered.

Were you in a relationship?

[HHH3]

Thank-you. There's not really anything anyone can say tbh.

No, we split up while I was pregnant. In all honesty things were pretty bad between us but he was still DS's daddy.