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Finding this a bit difficult.

(10 Posts)
oinkment Mon 29-Jul-13 20:29:06

Granny and I were very close.

When Granny moved into a home my brother and his wife moved into Granny's house.

When Granny's house was sold I was abroad. I was asked if there was anything I wanted as a keepsake. I named a couple of things which are being kept for me somewhere. Nothing of value. Nothing Granny had was worth a bean.

Am now staying with my brother and wife for a few days. Granny's things are everywhere. Everywhere. It does make sense. They were setting up home and needed stuff. I was far away. But... I am finding it hard. I loved Granny so much. All of there things have enormous significance to me. Brother and wife, not so much.

My special cereal bowl from when I was little.
Grandad's favourite mug.
All Granny's vases. Nothing of value. Just hers.
Things I made for her.
Birthday presents I gave her.
Her cream jug.
The chopping board with the bit missing.

I keep telling myself not to be so silly, and then I spy her garden scissors and I feel winded.

I miss her so much.

PeoplesRepublicOfBerkshire Mon 29-Jul-13 20:32:05

Does your brother know how you feel?

500internalerror Mon 29-Jul-13 20:37:48

I miss my nan every day. I didn't get anything of hers, because she lived with a friend, who's brother got rid of everything when they moved into a care home together. I was so so sad , as there were a few special things I wanted - nothing valuable. But there was nothing I could do. Here, there is something you can do - talk to your brother. It won't bring back gran, but it might help the grieving process?

Take care xx

oinkment Mon 29-Jul-13 20:39:56

No. I don't know if I know how I feel really. I mean, I knew they had her sofas and big furniture, and sheets and towels and things like that. I don't mind that a bit. It's the little things that keep catching me off guard.

oinkment Mon 29-Jul-13 20:42:09

I've mentioned a couple of things in a casual, pleasant "oh look, here's that bowl I bought granny!" Sort of way but they haven't said "oh you ought to have that then Oinkment".

oinkment Mon 29-Jul-13 21:08:59

Sorry to hear about your nan too 500. That must have been so hard that someone else got rid of her things.

I know it's only 'things' but I want to be able to have her things around my house and smile and remember her when I use them. I don't think bro and wife have any particular fondness for the things.

ShotgunNotDoingThePans Mon 29-Jul-13 21:12:37

Can't you just ask? I know you won't want to take the plates they're eating off. but what's wrong with telling them you'd like some things to remember her by?

PeoplesRepublicOfBerkshire Mon 29-Jul-13 22:10:15

I agree, I think you need to ask. They may not have any inkling you want something to remember her by. My dh's grandad died recently and the PILs have given us two small brass ornaments as keepsakes.

They remind us of him every day.

I'm sure they wouldn't mind giving a couple of things to you x

500internalerror Tue 30-Jul-13 07:35:59

The thing is, if they'd moved I to her hours, her things will just be second nature to them now iyswim - it might not even have occurred to them that you associate with vases etc so strongly. Sometimes people need things pointing out to them smile

500internalerror Tue 30-Jul-13 07:36:17

House. Not hours!

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