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Struggling to process this, not sure what to do. A bit long, sorry.

(7 Posts)
TigerFeet Tue 02-Jul-13 19:35:46

I'm not sure whether this is the right place to post this as I haven't been bereaved as such, but I could do with some advice & information.

A colleague of mine died at the weekend, not sure how old he was but I would say 40ish.

I've known him for a while but hadn't seen him for a number of years, we'd exchanged a couple of emails and FB comments etc, social media mates I suppose. We did the same job at different sites, initially for my previous employers and latterly after I had left to work for a different company, he ended up at a different site (other side of the country) with the same employer I'm with now. He moved a long way to do this new job and pretty much left his old life behind. He was estranged from his family.

He has been unwell for a number of years but hadn't told anyone how serious it was. He was at work as normal on Friday, no one noticed anything unusual, but took himself straight to hospital after work. He died on Saturday evening.

He didn't give the hospital any next of kin details and gave his work number as an emergency contact number. I got a phonecall today from another colleague to tell me the news and to ask if I can help with tracing his family/close friends in his home town. I don't know enough about him to help directly but I've contacted a few other former colleagues who worked at the same site as him who might know more.

I feel so desperately sad for him, I know he's beyond caring now and it would appear from what the hospital told my colleague that he knew he was dying and he chose to die alone. He is currently in the hospital mortuary.

I'm waiting to hear back from my former colleagues. I really don't think there's any more I can do. Poor chap, he was lovely, it's just so sad. I hope someone who was close to him comes forward to arrange a funeral for him.

But what will happen if no-one does? Is there any more I can do? I don't have the money to pay for the funeral of someone I hardly knew, also he's quite some distance from where I live now.

Thanks for getting this far


Littlefish Tue 02-Jul-13 19:37:40

Oh Tiger, how terribly sad. I'm afraid I can't be any help at all, but just wanted to express my condolences.

Jaffalemon Tue 02-Jul-13 19:40:46

Thats so very sad.

Have you looked at his friends list or previous posts on FB with the most comments to find those people closest to him.

TigerFeet Tue 02-Jul-13 19:52:02

Hi Littlefish how are you? Thanks for posting x

Jaffalemon I've been looking at his FB but either he didn't really post much or he had lists I wasn't on.

Babieseverywhere Tue 02-Jul-13 21:45:01

So sorry to hear about your loss. The poor man, may he rest in peace. sad

Afaik the local council will bury people who have no family or money for a private funeral.

BBC Article about Public Health Funerals

TigerFeet Wed 03-Jul-13 22:28:21

Thanks BE

He was actually living near you, he's at the main hospital in the town where your parents live <cryptic>

We may have traced his mum, another former colleague's Mum still works at the first place I knew him from 10 years ago, she managed to get some info for me which I've passed on. Let#s hope something comes of it.

Babieseverywhere Thu 04-Jul-13 07:19:37

Small world isn't it....if there is anything you want me to do, just call me. Sounds hopeful that you have tracked his mum down.

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