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Could do with some hand-holding please?

(481 Posts)
ChubbyKitty Mon 20-May-13 06:32:04

Horrific accident in my parents house. Mum and grandad have both gone, dad is stable, and only found one of three cats.

I'm 21, I did not expect to lose my mum this soon at all. It hasn't even sunk in properly yet, and I know when it does I will be completely destroyed. What do I even dosad

GraceAndVirtue Tue 21-May-13 10:10:36

I'm so incredibly sorry for your losses.

I have a daughter the same age as you and my heart goes out to you, and also to your dad.

I hope you find strength from wherever and whoever you can. Xx

mummylin2495 Tue 21-May-13 12:40:14

I too am guessing its the story that was in the news. It is horrific and I send you my deepest sympathies. You are very young to have to cope with this tragedy. Sending your dad my best wishes for his recovery.

mummylin2495 Tue 21-May-13 22:11:53

I hope you have had a lot of support today chubby. How s your dad doing , better news for him I hope, and what about the cats ?

BriansBrain Tue 21-May-13 22:19:40

You are so young, so gLad to read you have RL support and lots of MN hands to hold.

I am so sorry.

lborolass Tue 21-May-13 22:22:25

I've also seen this on the news, I hope you can get the support you need, sorry for your loss.

Sleepyfergus Tue 21-May-13 22:29:51

So terribly sorry to read this, I hope you are managing to cope as best possible. Sending positive thoughts for your dad and your missing cats.
Take care and look after yourself.

ChubbyKitty Wed 22-May-13 00:40:53

Hi again.

Yes it is the thing in the news. Nobody know how names have got out but their out there now and nothing we can do:/

Saw my dad again today - he's doing great. He's devastated as well though.

Officers have given me all the information they have so far and I think it's helping somehow knowing what will have happened iyswim?

I just want my mum really. It's so so wrong to not have her around sad

ChubbyKitty Wed 22-May-13 00:41:18

*they're, sorry

Gingerbreadlatte Wed 22-May-13 07:11:50

I'm so very sorry ChubbyKitty.

How terrible that the names information was shared without your permission.

Please keep taking here if it helps you. Hope your DP is looking after you x

DiaryOfAWimpyMum Wed 22-May-13 07:23:23

So sorry to read this.

JojoMags Wed 22-May-13 08:15:22

Hi ChubbyKitty. I'm so sorry. What a terrible loss and shock for you. The press involvement must just make it harder. As one of the other posters said, it's fine to feel numb for a while. Totally normal.

I'm glad your Dad is doing better.

If you need practical help sorting things out, the Citizens Advice Bureau will be able to help you. Their service is free and 100% confidential. I know it may be too early at the moment, but there for the future if you need it.

mummylin2495 Wed 22-May-13 08:35:10

Good morning chubby. I hope you managaged to get some quality sleep last night. I'm hoping that you have a good family network around you to help you at this tragic time. I can't begin to imagine how you Are feeling / coping. Is your DP able to have a few days off from work to help you with things that need to be done. Thinking of you.

ChubbyKitty Wed 22-May-13 10:33:35

Morning. Have slept quite well yeah, slept through my alarm which is rare for me. DP is being paid this week bit is home all week with me. I think they're going to give him more time if he needs it. Hopefully get my dad to nanas soon where he'll be much happier, had a little bit of a cry at one point when I was jotting down funeral ideas but DP was there with me and held me.

Dad was also really happy when I told him about the cat who has come to live with us. She's like a little ray of sunshine after everything almost, if that makes sense. Plus I feel I can easily get feelings out to her that I perhaps couldn't say to people close to me.

mummylin2495 Wed 22-May-13 14:23:14

Glad you managed to get some sleep and very pleased your partner can spend some time at home with you. Here's hoping your dad is progressing well. Happy to see about the cat !

susanalbumparty Wed 22-May-13 15:07:02

I am so sorry for your loss. Please take one day at a time and take comfort from the family you have around you. Talk to each other and stay strong. This will be in the media and that can add to pressure on the family.

I lost my mum at a young age, obviously not in such circumstances. Being without a mother, particularly when you become a mother yourself, brings its own challenges. There are lots of us here on mumsnet who know that feeling so reach out whenever you need to.

You say you will be devastated. There is no doubt that this will be a painful process but time WILL heal and things won't always feel as desperate as they do now.

Thinking of you and your family.

ChubbyKitty Wed 22-May-13 22:28:22

We saw the house today. It's...weird. I grew up there and now it's just a hole.

ChasingStaplers Wed 22-May-13 23:06:44

Hi ChubbyKitty. Still thinking of you. How is your dad? X

puds11isNAUGHTYnotNAICE Wed 22-May-13 23:18:59

I am so very sorry Chubby. I cannot imagine how awful this must be for you and your family.

My thoughts and prayers are with you.

notapizzaeater Wed 22-May-13 23:25:13

How awful for you, hope you are taking care x

mummylin2495 Wed 22-May-13 23:45:23

I am so sorry you had to go through the horror of viewing the house, I'm sure it was devastating for you. How are you and the rest of the family coping. D you have any siblings so that you can all support each other.? I expect there will be enquiries going on, I hope all legal things are done as quickly as possible so you can lay your loved ones to rest. How was your dad today? Thinking of you.

mummylin2495 Thu 23-May-13 14:15:32

I am sure you have yet another difficult day in front of you, but I hope you will draw strength from having your partner around you. Has the little cat settled down in its new home ?
And I'm hoping its better news about your dad today as well.

TheAccidentalExhibitionist Thu 23-May-13 15:42:29

How are you today ChubbyKitty?
I'm thinking of you.

ChubbyKitty Thu 23-May-13 16:58:44

The cat has settled, she still cries but its to be expected. Been back to the house today and I've retrieved from a pile of bricks one of my mums black metal CDs which is completely intact. I have a weird fascination with seeing the house which is probably not healthy but it's making me feel better if that makes sense?

My dad will be home either tonight or tomorrowsmile

mummylin2495 Thu 23-May-13 18:24:07

So glad to at least see good news regarding your dad. Maybe seeing the house will help you to accept what has happened. Whatever makes you feel best is the right thing to do. How is your dad feeling physically ? I'm sure it will be good for him to be at home. There is a lot for his , and your, mind to process.
Happy to see the cat has settled, I honk you said that your dad will be staying with your nan ? Did I get that right. Thinking of you.

mummylin2495 Thu 23-May-13 18:25:04

Forgot about the cd. Very pleased you have managed to retrieve a memory from your mum.

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