My dad was admitted to hospital on thursday, he has advanced lung cancer and was found unconscious in his bed at home, mum rushed him to hospital.
Since then he has had blood transfusions, saline, glucose and antibiotics. His kidney function although poor is a bit better, he has pneumonia. He had not been eating at home for about 3 weeks, and had been drinking very little. The DR says his conditional is stable but critical. They would not resuscitate. But in his current condition he could go on for a while...He has bed sores, he has no bowel control, he is visibly distressed and has a sedative to sleep at night. He cant talk, he is having difficulty breathing easily. It is fucking horrible.
I live in SW England, he and my mum are in Ayrshire, Scotland so a 8 hour drive or short flight. My kids are 4 and 19m. So a long drive with them on my own is not really doable, plus when I get there I can't go to the hospital with them its just too hectic. My DH is amazing and has been taking time off work to help me. I have flown up with just one of them, but again it is tricky with them at the hospital. We have no other family in Scotland or close friends who I can leave them with.
I have PILs who will help me if I were to leave the kids here with their dad/cm/pils/friends so that is an option, but I also work....
I have so far taken 1 weeks paid leave to be in Scotland with my dad (in addition to travelling up at the weekends with kids and DH by car) I have one more week paid leave to take which I am "saving" for the funeral. That sounds so morbid, but its the reality.
I dont know what to do for the best...I could ask for unpaid leave and leave my kids in Somerset and go. But we can't really afford that (paying for additional CM hours, flights etc). Or I just keep going up at weekends with DH and kids. But he is shattered and has a very full on job. His company have been understanding, but I am worried him.
Please tell me what to do for the best, what would you do?
I love my parents, but god forgive me, I want my dad to just slip away now. We have had 2 years of this.
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I live far away from my dying father and have a young family....
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nilbyname · 13/05/2013 18:00
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