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How do I tell DD when Great Nan has gone?

(4 Posts)
zephyrcat Thu 18-May-06 11:14:45

Yesterday my Nan was given hours to live. So far DD (4.6) knows that she is very poorly in hospital, but she has no real concept of death. Her pet rat died months ago and she still keeps asking when he's coming back.

When the time comes I don't know whether to say that Great Nan couldn't get better so she has gone to a special place to be with Great Grandad and leave it at that? Is there a 'best' way to deal with it?

Marne Thu 18-May-06 11:35:20

Sory to hear about your nan, its a bit of a tough one,

I think if it was me i would tell her the truth (well as best as i could), explain that she was very ill and that she has gone to be with great grandad and explain that she wont be around anymore.

good luck

2shoes Fri 19-May-06 23:45:03

my dd has cp so it is hard to judge sometimes if she is "getting" things. when her friend was ill and the mum had told me he was going to die. I got her to say prayers. and tried to prepare her. I think as she knew he was very ill when It happened it didn't come as a big shock. I then told her he had gone to heaven and that he was with her grandad. it did work as if You mention anyone who has died she looks at the ceiling. Not sure if this helps dd is 11 but she is deylayed.

chapsmum Fri 19-May-06 23:51:59

Zepher,
My frien died when her son was only 4, obviously this is a different type of relationship. But if they were close and you want her to belive in the concept of heaven or a better place in the sky help her to write or draw a picture and send it to nan on a helium ballon.
If she was close and this is really important, let her go to the funeral. IT is really important that she knows other people are sad and that it is ok to be sad, but understand that granny is not sick anymore, she is in a special place were she is in no pain and she is with all her friend and husband doing her favourite things.
We had help from a play specialist for my friends ds and she gave us a number of tips (depending on your concept of death). But the most importatn one was to let her know you are sad and that is is ok to be sad, she is not on her own being sad IYSWIM.

Zephercat once again my heartfelt sympathies.

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