Advanced search

Lost my dad. Feeling so erratic and confused.

(7 Posts)
Finola1step Sun 28-Apr-13 21:51:55

Hello. I lost my dad just over a week ago. He had his health problems over the past four years. But he was doing really well. He went out for the day with mum and then later that evening died very suddenly.

I know pretty much all I need to know about what happened. Last week was very busy sorting out stuff with the coroner, registering, sorting out the funeral, sorting out paperwork for mum etc. My work was great, put me on compassionate leave straight away no questions asked, sent flowers.

Finalised funeral arrangements on Friday. Then told work I will be back tomorrow. Thought I would be ok. But feel I am back to square one. I am dreading the funeral. Dreading being the strong one, the coper.

Last night, just before I feel asleep, I could hear his voice. I keep replaying conversations over in my head. Nothing important, just stuff. I don't want to. It hurts so much. I know it's grief. I find the quiet times the hardest.

I am posting this because I find it so hard to talk about what I am feeling in rl. I can deal with the professionals no problem. But to people I know, I can barely get the words out of my mouth to say that he has gone.

Thank you for reading

BabsAndTheRu Sun 28-Apr-13 22:50:44

So so sorry to hear about your dad, I lost my dad 3 years ago and my god the pain and heartbreak is immense. I was off work for about three weeks, so maybe would be better to stay off for a bit longer yet, certainly till after the funeral. You will know when its right to go back, you suddenly have this need for your normal routine again.
It does help when being busy like you say but when all the things are done its just you and your thoughts, its hard. It takes a long time for the heartbreak to go but your dad wouldn't want you to be unhappy, our dad knew he was dying and this is what he kept telling us, we had to live our lives and be happy, no tears( failed on that one a lot ).
You are in my thoughts and sending you our love from all of us here at BabsAndTheRu.

Floralnomad Sun 28-Apr-13 22:58:57

So sorry for your loss. My dad died very suddenly in 1990 aged 51 so I can appreciate what you are going through . Don't rush back to work ,give yourself time especially until after the funeral. I went back to work after about 3 weeks but normality ,well that takes a lot longer . Take care of yourself.

BabsAndTheRu Mon 29-Apr-13 10:22:08

Thinking about you today, hope you stayed at home, or if you did go to work its going okay.

Finola1step Mon 29-Apr-13 13:15:54

Floral and Babs. Thanks you for your posts and kind words. Didn't go in to work today. May stay off until after the funeral. I work with lots of lovely people and I'm just not ready for the kind words and condolences in a face to face situation. My job is also very senior so I need to be able to plaster on the professional face.

Spoke to DH last night and told him how I was feeling. It really helped. Today is a better day. DH got dc up and ready for school and nursery. Have got house to myself so will potter and may do a bit of gardening.

BabsAndTheRu Thu 02-May-13 16:26:39

Hope everything goes okay tomorrow, thinking of you Finola.

t875 Tue 07-May-13 20:48:13

oh Finola i am so sorry to read this I know how devastating this is after losing my mum a year ago suddenly, it is horrendous. I spoke to CRUSE bereavement the generic line a few times and i also ended up having 4 sessions of councilling this helped me a lot. I had a few great friends to talk too which helped. I really remember last year at the beginning it is a horrendous time. I have found such a lovely support from the girls on the thread here 'losing a parent, please come join us and we can be there for eachother along with all the other wonderful support you have got from MN. {{hugs}} to you and hope the funeral went as good as it could. Here for you xxx

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: