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My husband died

(197 Posts)
minkulus Fri 05-Apr-13 22:09:22

I have 2DCs. Daughter 8 and son 2 1/2. I have spoken to my Dd about her daddy, but how the hell do I explain it to the 2 yr old.
Dad was away a lot with work so his absence has not been noted yet. What do I do?
Sorry it's a bit blunt but I'm stunned and can't face it.

Evenstar Sun 07-Apr-13 22:02:47

She has just messaged me to say that is fine for you to text or email her and she will reply.

minkulus Sun 07-Apr-13 22:24:57

Thanks Evenstar! Have messages you.

I'm off to bed in the hopes of some sleep? My DD is cuddled up in my bed so probably lots of fidgeting!

xigris Mon 08-Apr-13 08:32:23

Will be thinking of you today, Minkulus x

I've only just read this, wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss.

minkulus Mon 08-Apr-13 09:10:59

Well another morning. I am really shaky today. Just waiting to hear whats going to happen next.
Ive got childrens dentist this morning; how weird is that? its all normal outside my body and head and heart. everything carries on.

Orangesarenottheonlyfruit Mon 08-Apr-13 09:18:00

I have no practical advice but just wanted to let you know how sorry I am for you.
I am so impressed at your immense bravery in putting one foot in front of the other without cracking up. You are a fantastically strong woman and obviously a tower of strength for your children (even if you are quaking inside).
Will be thinking of you.

Lucyellensmum95 Mon 08-Apr-13 10:09:52

You are awe inspiring minkulus - sending my best wishes and prayers if i may x

minkulus Mon 08-Apr-13 13:01:08

WTF?! my dentist asked me outright "did your husband commit suicide?"
I am stunned. she is always so lovely . she must have been thinking it. how weird. im really shocked. Just one more bit of crap to deal with.
BTW as far as i know yet, no that isnt in the equation.

xigris Mon 08-Apr-13 13:46:53

She what?!! You are joking? Did she look horrified after she said it? I wonder if just very bad awkward-foot-in-mouth? My friend has it very badly and once asked my German friend, completely innocently, if she had any Nazis in her family blush. I'm so impressed Minkulus at the way you're keeping going. flowers

lougle Mon 08-Apr-13 15:25:15

minkulus, I'm stunned. I hope you weren't too distressed by that, and I hope your Dentist reflects on her behaviour and has the courage to contact you to apologise.

BriansBrain Mon 08-Apr-13 15:38:51

shock wat?? Some people really don't engage the bloody brains before talking do they!?

Hope you are doing ok, baby steps.

Mumcentreplus Mon 08-Apr-13 15:52:55

minkulus just sending you some <<hugs>> for everyone take care x

minkulus Mon 08-Apr-13 19:45:30

Oh xigris,that tickled me about your friend and I know my DH would have loved that!
Such things are the wonderful irreverent snippets that will shine through this bloody awful time.
I have had a hard day today, but insensitivity and crap notwithstanding I have had some amazing support from MN and some of DH colleagues. Many have sent really heartfelt descriptions of him and how he touched their lives. Makes me miss him all the more......
One last thing that may make someone smile;
I would love to be a fly on the wall in the great waiting room in the sky. My DH will be thrilled Lady T is there, he loved politics and will be no doubt having an amazing discussion with the Iron Lady! Couldn't think of two greater minds to be sitting together right now......

I bet he'll give her a run for her money!

VivaLeBeaver Mon 08-Apr-13 20:08:56

Your Dh sounds like he was such a lovely person.

I'm sorry your dentist was so bloody insensitive.

sybilfaulty Mon 08-Apr-13 20:11:10

So sorry for your loss minkulus. Sending best wishes to you flowers

IcanandIwill Mon 08-Apr-13 20:29:02

Just checking in and sending some love. How totally insensitive of the dentist. People do react in the strangest of ways. I'm sure it's not deliberate but they can be damn well insensitive.

AllOverIt Mon 08-Apr-13 20:44:35

You're doing brilliantly OP. So sorry for your loss.
Sending you strength thanks

minkulus Mon 08-Apr-13 21:21:45

Yes Viva he was an amazing person. I never really gave him much credit, but he was extremely intelligent, had the most disgraceful sense of humour and was one of the best in his field.
But our family life was difficult because his passion was his work.
However, I know he loved me and our darling DCs and they especially were his grounding and delight.
I just wish I had told him all that while I could.

VivaLeBeaver Mon 08-Apr-13 21:27:24

Minkulus, I'm sure he'd have known it. Me and Dh aren't exactly vocal about such stuff but I like to think we know what each other think about stuff like that.

ThePortlyPinUp Mon 08-Apr-13 21:27:49

minkulus I'm near Kings Lynn so if you need any practical help just pm me. thanks

TeaMakesItAllPossible Mon 08-Apr-13 21:59:54

I'm sorry to hear about your DH. What a complete shock for you and your family.

I'd second memory boxes for the kids - making them together - allows you and your DC to get into the 'habit' of talking about him. One each.

I'm self employed, with my own PLC, and between contracts at the moment so, whilst I'm not close by, I have time and am would be happy to help.

Did your DH have an accountant and are you secretary for his company? If you need help finding out about his company and what needs to happen I can research it. I will PM you


minkulus Mon 08-Apr-13 22:29:26

Again, thank you so much for the amazing messages and advice and offers of practical help.
I'm off to bed now because DD has just come down for the fourth time in ten minutes; i think she needs a cuddle from her mum.....

xigris Tue 09-Apr-13 09:42:36

How are you this morning Minkulus? Did your DD manage to get some sleep? xx

SarahLundKicksAss Tue 09-Apr-13 09:53:07

I'm so sorry for your loss Minkulus. I can't begin to imagine what you might be going through.

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