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As we go through this painful journey together

(986 Posts)
lavandes Sun 10-Feb-13 21:24:05

As we go through this painful journey together we share, cry, scream and shout but we never judge, we know that there is always someone to listen. We always remember our precious children who will never be forgotten and will live on forever in our hearts.

whiteandyelloworchid Thu 14-Feb-13 00:49:33

Hi chip, yes I do that too, I wonder what ds would have enjoyed doing, would he be a gentle type of boy or more rough n tumble, I guess I imagine him being more on the gentle side, with having a older sister, I imagine them playing sylvanians and with dolls and things.

I wonder what would he have been like at school ? Would he go to college or uni, what sort of.work would he do

Would he het married, have children how many? What would he call them

I can't understand why so many parents try n tell there children what to do in life. When they have the wonderful opportunity to watch this person develop their.own passions andninterests
And make their own way

I totally get what you mean,I look back on things I wasnworried about, and cannot believe I wasbeven stressed about them.
So many things seem so unimportant now
Hunker is ace isn't she, she helped me with bd my dd five and a half years ago, I was always asking for hunker,TomTom and moondog.

I.think you do sylvie rose proud, I really do. Your.full of kindness for.others

I've not been on here much as just be really really.struggling atm

whiteandyelloworchid Thu 14-Feb-13 00:51:38

TomTom? I typed or tried to tiktok

chipmonkey Thu 14-Feb-13 01:08:35

Yes, she's great! As is tiktok, who also occasionally goes under the name of a well-known satnav!grin

shabbatheGreek Thu 14-Feb-13 07:34:57

Morning girls xx

whiteandyelloworchid Thu 14-Feb-13 10:26:26

Yeah maybe that's her incognito name!

Wow my heart feels like it weighs 20 stone today.

whiteandyelloworchid Thu 14-Feb-13 10:26:50

Morning shabbs x

expatinscotland Thu 14-Feb-13 10:29:34

In loving memory of Aillidh, 19 June 2003 - 7 July 2012.

cortneyfigel95 Thu 14-Feb-13 10:58:55

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

shabbatheGreek Thu 14-Feb-13 11:03:06


If you want to advertise some scam I suggest you go to the evil thing that is called FACEBOOK.

cortneyfigel95 Off you pop - have some respect next time please

shabbatheGreek Thu 14-Feb-13 11:07:40

Thank you MNHQ

sydlexic Thu 14-Feb-13 11:08:55

For me it is 14 years today, I promise you all it does get easier. X

shabbatheGreek Thu 14-Feb-13 11:59:02

sydlexic - are you a newbie on here? Or have you name changed?

I agree with you - it does get easier - or maybe time does change the way we feel. I am not sure 'how it works' but, for me, it has changed and is more gentle. There are still days though that it rears its ugly head and bites me on the rear end very hard.

sydlexic Thu 14-Feb-13 12:30:47

Name changed, my adult DD was reading my posts and I found it a bit intrusive.

shabbatheGreek Thu 14-Feb-13 12:37:01

Ahhhhhh - you have got me intrigued now LOL......

Kneecaps Thu 14-Feb-13 14:46:53

Hi all, lovely to see the new thread. Remembering my darling boy Seán who died on 18 June 2011 aged 6 in an accident at our home. His First Communion should be in May and the school is full of preparations - he would have loved the attention. Saw all his classmates coming out with Valentine's cards for their mothers - Jesus Christ the triggers are just everywhere

frasersmummy Thu 14-Feb-13 14:47:42

I think as the years go on being a bereaved parent just becomes part of who you are..

In the early days its like its all you are the pain is overhwelming and you cant/ dont want to think about anything else

As the months go by you realise you have to think of other things be it returning to work /raising the others in your family/ rebuidling your life

At first this hurts too much to contemplate but you do it and as you do it you start building new memories some good some bad, some happy some sad

And soon you have a whole range of experiences and memories from that horrid day onwards

Thats when it just becomes part of who you are.. something dreadful that happened but that you survived and moved forward from

You never forget and when you think back to that dark period there will always be pain.. its just you are now so much more than just a bereaved mummy

chipmonkey Thu 14-Feb-13 17:04:42

Oh, Kneecaps!sad My ds3 is making his communion this year. I will think of you and Seán on that day. Even now the communion dresses make me sad and Sylvie-Rose wasn't due to wear one for 7 years!

fm I do hope you're right. I feel at the moment that I am an outer shell of coping but am all bereaved Mum on the inside.

cupofteaplease Thu 14-Feb-13 19:59:11

I had a huge cry at work today, I've no idea where it came from. I was with two senior colleagues and they both mentioned that I looked a bit down, and with that I just collapsed into uncontrollable tears. They were lovely and let me talk for half an hour or so, just nonsensical things that must have been playing on my mind. I felt a bit silly, but that's my own feelings, not their reactions, they were fab.
It's just hard to explain that it's nothing that's happened to make me cry, it's not a reaction to anything that's been said or done, it's just this thing called grief that overwhelms you from absolutely nowhere.
I'm going to see the GP tomorrow as my general anxiety and feelings of hopelessness are getting worse and I think I may need to adjust my meds.

whiteandyelloworchid Thu 14-Feb-13 21:10:02

i really hope that right too frasersmummy, i really do want to start building some happier memories soon.
do you think one year on, almost, is still early days?


thinking of getting one of these to hang on ds tree in the garden, but i'm a bit scared in case it could case a fire, what do you think, do you think it could cause a fire or am i beig overly paranoid ?

cup do you feel better for a cry? i cried and cried all night last night for hours, woke up with such swollen sore eyes, look a fright, but i actually feel a tiny bit better today
i wonder if it did me good

kneecaps your right the triggers are everywhere, absoulety everywhere

SaintVera Thu 14-Feb-13 21:57:21

Just written a whole load and pressed the wrong button. Like you white and cup, bad times and public tears. Antidepressants to start tomorrow (Citalopram with valium chaser). Thanks frasersmummy for words of hope. Much needed xxx

whiteandyelloworchid Fri 15-Feb-13 00:54:04

I really fancy a valium chaser st v

SaintVera Fri 15-Feb-13 09:33:47

Hi ladies. Last night I had my second dream in a week that Sean is in fact alive and it's all been a terrible mistake. In both dreams, he has swallowed poison and dies, but then comes back to life. In last night's dream, I was ecstatic and about to shout it out loud to everyone I knew that the doctor's have got it all wrong and he is going to live. I told myself everything would be different, now I had this second chance with him. I wouldn't waste a minute of our time together.

Then I woke up and felt utterly devastated.

Yesterday evening I learned that my cousin in America has had major surgery for throat cancer. He is only in his 40's. I remember such a healthy, all-American boy. I feel so sad for his parents

Helyantha Fri 15-Feb-13 09:34:22

Hello all. I'm closing on 7 years down the line (almost as long as DS3 had on this earth with us sad) and there are minutes/hours/days that I feel overwhelmed. It's oddly comforting though, as one of the things I was most worried about in the early days was that we would consign DS to a part of our lives that was gone, a chapter closed, a box that had a lid on & was never opened. That is absolutely not the case: he is a vibrant, real part of our daily lives, even though some people might find that discomfiting.
I think the rainbow crystal's lovely white. I'm sure it won't be a fire hazard.

Helyantha Fri 15-Feb-13 09:36:33

Oh SaintVera, dreams can be such a comfort & a trial all at the same time! So sorry to hear about your cousin - he will be in my prayers x

ResponsibleAdult Fri 15-Feb-13 10:08:21

Stumbled on this thread by accident.
You are all so brave and strong. Your love and kindness to each other is staggering. In tears reading and now replying. I have experienced bereavement on several occasions, but not of a child. I know I wouldnt cope as well as any of you, even those who say they arent coping.
Many years ago whilst in Intensive Care I experienced a respiratory arrest, ie stopped breathing. I had an out of body experience. All of the pain was gone, my body was free, the bright light was warm and welcoming and I felt at peace. I wasn't frightened or scared. I was one of the lucky ones and was resuscitated. It gives me great comfort to know I will be going on to a better place.
Your loved ones will always know they were loved. They are at peace and watching over you. They will welcome you when it is time to meet up. Keep them warm in your heart until then.

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