Advanced search

As we go through this painful journey together

(986 Posts)
lavandes Sun 10-Feb-13 21:24:05

As we go through this painful journey together we share, cry, scream and shout but we never judge, we know that there is always someone to listen. We always remember our precious children who will never be forgotten and will live on forever in our hearts.

SaintVera Thu 18-Apr-13 11:36:44

A poem with a lot of truth in it Shabs.

We had Sean's birthday on Tuesday. I am in reasonably good form at the moment, ~thanks to citalopram and alcohol~ God knows how. It was bearable, but...empty. I am dealing with life by not dealing with it and festering away at home a lot. I don't judge myself for it. I am not fighting the deadly silence any more, just living with it. I will get out there soon.

I also came off Facebook yesterday as it is doing my nut in and I am too old for feeling paranoia about people who have decided not to contact me on Sean's birthday despite knowing full well it was his birthday, just because of past grievances that I thought were water under the bridge once Sean had died. I can feel the ties to some people from my 'previous life' being cut and it feels ok now and more clear cut. Let them go. I want my energy to go into remembering my boy.

I hope you are all ok...xx

sh77 Thu 18-Apr-13 12:02:29

Remembering my beautiful firstborn daughter who was born 4 years ago today and passed away four years ago tomorrow. Only my best friend has contacted me. Everybody else has forgotten.

SaintVera Thu 18-Apr-13 13:41:49

I am so sorry sh77. I don't think most people intend to be unkind, but god it hurts. Remembering your daughter with you x

My5boysandme Thu 18-Apr-13 15:26:17

Shabbath, that poem is lovely and so very true.

Not been on here for a while,sometimes I just don't what to say.

shabbatheGreek Fri 19-Apr-13 06:44:16

Morning girls xx

MiaAlexandrasmummy Fri 19-Apr-13 22:24:04

sh77 we will always remember with you, whenever you want to talk about your daughter. Any day of the year. xx

MiaAlexandrasmummy Fri 19-Apr-13 22:25:32

saintvera sounds like you are doing all the right things. Can't believe people are being so petty. You really don't need them and their irrelevant concerns in your life. xx

expatinscotland Fri 19-Apr-13 22:29:46

Hi, everyone smile.

MiaAlexandrasmummy Fri 19-Apr-13 23:01:07

hey there expat. How are things with you? I have been lurking on the GoT threads - just discovered the whole series, and we are hooked... and you are an expert!! So - should I read the books?

whiteandyellowiris Fri 19-Apr-13 23:24:59

hi guys

shabs i love that poem

it reminds me of this one, excuse me if ive posted this one before and forgotten

My Mom, she tells a lot of lies,

She never did before

But from now until she dies,

She'll tell a whole lot more.

Ask my Mom how she is

And because she can't explain,

She will tell a little lie

because she can't describe the pain.

Ask my Mom how she is,

She'll say"I'm alright."

If that's the truth, then tell me,

why does she cry each night ?

Ask my Mom how she is

She seems to cope so well,

She didn't have a choice you see,

Nor the strength to yell.

Ask my Mom how she is,

"I'm fine, I'm well, I'm coping."

For God's sake Mom, just tell the truth,

Just say your heart is broken

She'll love me all her life

I loved her all of mine.

But if you ask her how she is,

She'll lie and say she's fine.

I am here in Heaven

I cannot hug from here.

If she lies to you don't listen

Hug her and hold her near.

On the day we meet again,

We'll smile and I'll be bold.

I'll say,

"You're lucky to get in here, Mom,

With all the lies you told!"

MiaAlexandrasmummy Fri 19-Apr-13 23:32:54

white, that is a favourite of mine too.

shabbatheGreek Sat 20-Apr-13 11:52:35

Morning girls xx

White I love that poem - so truthful and honest x

MiaAlexandrasmummy Sat 20-Apr-13 21:59:45

In the garden for the first time this year. Our Mamma Mia rose hasn't made it through the winter. hmm

shabbatheGreek Sun 21-Apr-13 08:20:11

Morning girls xx

Sorry to hear that Mias...I have four rose bushes - all in separate tubs.....looks like only one has made it through Winter as well.....just hoping its my favourite 'Blue Moon' because I cant remember which is which!!!! Its been a long and harsh Winter here.

whiteandyellowiris Sun 21-Apr-13 08:53:17

oh sorry to hear the mamma mia rose hasn't made it throught the winter, its sure been a long winter

we have a mini free for ds, a
thats only just starting to get a few buds on it, no real leaves or anything yet, its nly in a large barrel so really hope it will make it

oh, ive not heard of blue moon before i shall look that up, its hard to find blues ish flowers isnt it

whiteandyellowiris Sun 21-Apr-13 09:31:59

to ds, love you and miss you so so much, want you to say stay close to me, make sure i'm ok
but i would feel guilty, as i want you to be free to run and play, not keep an eye on me
my heart breaks for you every single day, just wish things where so different and you were still here and you were healthy and well
can't understand why your gone and i'm still heresad
it is not right
i love so much, and i miss you so much

two songs for you
precious child

one more day

love forever mummy xxxxxxxxxxx

shabbatheGreek Sun 21-Apr-13 09:54:05

Blue Moon roses are, sadly, not blue - more of a lavender/blue combination!!! They are beautiful though.

My Dad bought it for me because we both support Manchester City and their song is 'Blue Moon' smile

whiteandyellowiris Sun 21-Apr-13 13:32:55

just googled blue moon rose, its lovely

shabbatheGreek Mon 22-Apr-13 06:25:11

Morning girls xx

whiteandyellowiris Mon 22-Apr-13 12:49:30

morning x

shabbatheGreek Mon 22-Apr-13 22:33:30

Just watched 'hoarders next door' on telly (think thats what its called)

The man had lost his brother when he was 22 and the lady had lost a child. The psychiatrist said 'the bereavment of a child or a young sibling was the most traumatic event and many hoarders had suffered this trauma. That one sentance made me so sad I had to turn the tv off. Just stood in the kitchen with the radio on.......I wanted a large bottle of gin, large bottle of tonic and 20 cigarettes!!!! I have none of them so am sat back in the living room quietly sulking!!

shabbatheGreek Tue 23-Apr-13 06:58:42

Morning girls xx

lavandes Tue 23-Apr-13 08:32:35

Morning ladies xx

If only more people would take that on board then maybe more people would understand us xx

shabbatheGreek Tue 23-Apr-13 08:44:14

Certainly would be better for us if more people 'got it' Lavandes.

Im a bloody mess today...shaky, teary and feel 'mentally poorly.' Dad was in hospital again at the weekend (is home now)....think he had a water infection that was making him confused. He is fading away in front of my eyes, Mum is 'away with the fairies' and my brother has left his wife of 30 years shock everybody is telling me their problems and expecting my support and I truly want to help BUT I feel like I am choking in all this sadness.

OK....Dad is going for his weekly day to the hospice - to tell them its boring and he isint going again <<sigh>> so I have my lovely Mam for the day - she wants to go into Bolton shopping!!! Dear God, bless us and piggin' save us - its going to be a long, long day!!

lavandes Tue 23-Apr-13 08:59:19

Passes Shabs the gin and a fag xxx I'm so sorry you have so much to deal with I wish I could help you xxx

Join the discussion

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now