Poor handling by teacher

(13 Posts)
mummynumnum Thu 07-Feb-13 21:14:19

My dd lost nanny (my mil) 8 weeks ago. All v close and looked after my dc for a number of yrs while I worked and lived with us for last few mths of her life. Daughter has been doing ok and we encourage her to talk as and when she wants to about it. She came home tonight and said she was upset about nanny today and friend got her teacher (yr2) and her teacher said or goodness sake. It had obviously played on her mind. I know my dd can use nanny to get her out of trouble/get bit of attention, but my dh and I think this was handled badly. My dh wants to go in and see head teacher. Are we in our grief over reacting or are we justified?

OP’s posts: |
girliefriend Thu 07-Feb-13 21:16:43

Yes I would speak to the head teacher, not overreacting sad

Really insensitive of the teacher.

Am sorry for your loss.

lisad123everybodydancenow Thu 07-Feb-13 21:17:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

GinandJag Thu 07-Feb-13 21:18:53

What do you want to happen?

You can't turn the clock back?

Do you really want the teacher to be punished? Will it ease your grief?

mummynumnum Thu 07-Feb-13 21:26:16

It's not about punishment. I am a teacher myself and try and avoid being a difficult and unnecessary parent but as a teacher I would not say this to a child talking about the loss of a loved one. I know I don't know the whole story but it i find it quite unprofessional.

OP’s posts: |
girliefriend Thu 07-Feb-13 21:36:25

Maybe speak to the teacher first to get her take on it but agree its not about punishment confused rather that dismissing a childs grief is not on.

mummynumnum Thu 07-Feb-13 21:37:49

The teacher is actually an ex pupil of mine so am actually v protective of her but she is v young and lacking a bit in real life experience

OP’s posts: |
chipmonkey Mon 11-Feb-13 15:34:03

Who talked about punishment? But she shouldn't have said "oh for goodness sake to a grieving child" and it needs saying.

mummynumnum Thu 14-Feb-13 20:12:04

Stopped my dh marching in and sent an email in. Said that dd had been upset by her words and came home saying she did not want to mention nanny at school anymore. Said that I understood there may be a wider context but would like to know what that was and that I felt as teacher she needed to reassure dd about being free to
Discuss her nanny etc etc nice email back, with wider context and dd got a nice 1-1 chat as wellsmile

OP’s posts: |
whiteandyelloworchid Fri 15-Feb-13 00:58:35

Well done for sticking up for your dd, good result

OrangeLily Fri 15-Feb-13 01:19:50

Depends how it was said.... Could possibly been in a 'for goodness sake, what a state you've got yourself in to. Why didn't you come and get me?' .. Type way?

Ask the teacher first.

fuckwittery Sat 23-Feb-13 23:59:59

I still remember after my dad died when I was 6 having to look words up in a dictionary at school and being on the same page as the word "dead". I was crying and pointed the word out to my teacher and she told me to grow up. Definitely remember it being the same class teacher for the class I was in when he died, and my dad died in June so it must have been only weeks after his death. Pleased you spoke to the school.

fuckwittery Sun 24-Feb-13 00:01:26

And the following year being quiet and crying on the anniversary, thought I was in trouble when the teacher pulled me aside to ask what was wrong, I was so surprised when she gave me a cuddle when I told her, I thought I was going to be told off for being attention seeking. sad

Join the discussion

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet

Already have a Mumsnet account? Log in