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Bereaved (MY mum) 2 weeks ago, so drained, so utterly tired, is this normal then?

(6 Posts)
sensesworkingovertime Wed 06-Feb-13 20:12:24

Thank you all for your replies, I understand what you are all saying is from raw experience and I'm sorry for all your lost loved ones too. You have all helped me and I'm sure others on here.

Doilooklikeatourist Wed 06-Feb-13 16:56:17

My condolences to you .

What you're feeling is normal , my Mum died 11 years ago and I remember feeling exactly the same .

In the time before she died ( cancer , so we knew ) you're so tied up in their last days , then theres the stress of the funeral , then it's like you draw a line under the life and feel you need to move on . But it wears you out .

I tried to keep busy , it doesn't work . You need some time for yourself , to regain your strength , and have time to grieve .

I don't mean weeks of rest , but I found even 15 minutes , peace on my own in my bedroom helped . Not every day but just sometimes , I just needed a bit of space and quiet .

It is normal , if you say " Mum died a little while ago , but I'm coping really well " , that would not be normal

Think of yourself sometimes , just have a little sit down ..

SolidGoldBrass Wed 06-Feb-13 16:42:32

Oh poor you. It is pretty normal: my dad died about 18 months ago and I remember feeling like I would never have any energy again (his death was very sudden, so I wasn't worn out with stress or nursing him or anything) - it's one of the ways the body responds to shock and distress.
Be as kind to yourself as you possibly can; don't forget to eat, sod the housework for a bit, get as much fresh air as possible. It will pass, honest.

YouveCatToBeKittenMe Wed 06-Feb-13 16:39:52

Sorry for your loss
My dad died in November, I was caught up in the organisation of the funeral and other things but I have found since it all finished that I have felt kind of lost and exhausted.
I have also been clearing his house which is full of 50 years of memories and also alot of his fathers photos and papers!

It is all catching up with me now. I know how you feel. I am extremely cross with my sister who has done bugger all very little to help, and is in fact expecting me to now help with sorting her stuff which is still at my dads house. This isn't helping me through it all at all.

I think it is better to keep busy so you don't become overwhelmed with grief, but on the other hand it is also good to let it out!
I am trying so hard not to dwell but the sale of the house affected me more than I thought it would and having to go there so often when it now looks so neglected and empty is very hard.

Could you have a word with your neighbours and ask them to keep it down a bit so you can get a good nights sleep? It makes all so much harder if you're not sleeping

hanahsaunt Wed 06-Feb-13 16:37:52

Really sorry to read this; it is utterly exhausting. I was doing all this nearly a year ago and it just takes time. I really, really wanted to go to bed for a week and just be wrapped up and babied. Didn't happen. Probably because I didn't ask for it and felt I had to soldier on not least because mum came to stay with us for 10 days after the funeral and everyone else moves on, life goes on - of course it does with school and cubs and music and, and and. Carve out time if you can just to be by yourself; be kind. Talk to your dh.

sensesworkingovertime Wed 06-Feb-13 16:22:34

Just that, I feel so exhausted. I put it down to a combination of the obvious stress and all the things that go along with hosp visits and then organising a funeral, looking after dad/siblings and my own kids plus trying to keep busy busy busy so I don't dwell. Not to mention my very noisy (past 2 nights) neighbours next door who keep revving it up at 11pm when I am knackered.

Any thoughts anyone?

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