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My friend just killed herself

(91 Posts)
BoffinMum Mon 28-Jan-13 23:27:41

I just found out this evening. Not sure what happened. She was lovely, I had no idea.

VestaCurry Tue 19-Mar-13 04:58:15

Very sorry you are having to go through this, bereavement by suicide is extremely tough.

Blondeshavemorefun Tue 19-Mar-13 03:44:06

Oh boffy sad

I've just seen this - I'm so sorry for your loss

'Blondes squeezes through iPhone and ((hug))'

I rem reading on your fb about the au pair quitting but didnt know your friend had killed her self as well

As you know - I sadly do know how you feel - much love to you xxxx

BoffinMum Tue 05-Feb-13 23:13:50

Thank you.

trustissues75 Tue 05-Feb-13 15:10:31

Oh dear Boffin

I'm sorry. It is I imagine such a shock when someone who you think is ok is so not ok that they decide to leave life. Sleep deprivation does awful, terrible things to you: there is a reason it is used as an interrogation and torture technique. The problem with it is you are so often not believed by health professionals and it's just awful - I know from first hand experience. There were times when I seriously considered ending it all. There is nothing you could have done. Be kind to yourself.

AuldAlliance Thu 31-Jan-13 16:36:14

Have bumped it for you, Boff.

BoffinMum Thu 31-Jan-13 16:28:33

Lost the chuffing FW thread.

TomDudgeon Wed 30-Jan-13 10:34:20

I'm so sorry

If there's anything we april fws can do just let us know

HeeBeeGeebies Wed 30-Jan-13 10:12:50

So sorry, thinking of you and her son at this sad time x

BoffinMum Wed 30-Jan-13 09:46:42

Still shedding the odd tear, but over the initial shock now, I think. I keep thinking about the lovely things she used to do for me, in a nice way. Looking forward to rolling up my sleeves and getting her son through his finals.

chipmonkey Wed 30-Jan-13 00:01:52

So sorry about your friend, Boffin, what a terrible shock for you.

BoffinMum Tue 29-Jan-13 23:15:34

Thank you, MakeHay. I think the post was so bizarre and misplaced I have probably wiped it from my mind already. As people rightly pointed out, if you criticise other people, where do you go when you need help?

MakeHayNotStraw Tue 29-Jan-13 23:00:20

I notice that my response to the nasty post was also deleted, which was a shame - but I'll repeat the main bit; I am so sorry BoffinMum, and I am glad that you are finding this thread a support. My prayers are with you and your friend's family.

BoffinMum Tue 29-Jan-13 21:38:20

Thanks for offers of help - very much appreciated but I have to represent my work at something v v important, and because it's not a relative being buried, ducking out would be a bad idea, whatever my personal feelings. Anyway, as long as I am able to help her son a bit I think that's enough hopefully.

soaccidentprone Tue 29-Jan-13 21:31:02

I am really sorry for your loss. I have experienced similar situations in the past and it is bloody difficult. we all deal with loss in different ways, there is no right or wrong.

going to the funeral can be cathartic, and I would attend if you possibly can. I am in s Yorks if I can help. pm me if you want anything.

my thoughts are with you. I have also used Cruise and found their service excellent.

toffeelolly Tue 29-Jan-13 21:11:53

So sorry boff, to hear about your friend. take care x

xxDebstarxx Tue 29-Jan-13 21:01:36

Oh goodness me what a terrible thing to happen. It's so lovely that you are supporting her son and helping him through such a difficult time.

Ignore nasty comments. We all grieve in our own way and whatever gets you through is how you must deal with it.

Sorry for your loss.

MmeLindor Tue 29-Jan-13 20:24:06

So sorry for your loss, Boffin. Glad that MN has been of help to you, and that you have had some good advice here.


BoffinMum Tue 29-Jan-13 20:18:36

Hello, I am back. I have been emailing her son backwards and forwards all day and I think he's more or less OK now. We're prob going to meet up next week and I'll take him out for tea or something. Main thing he gets through his finals, which I think may be imminent. I know a lot of his lecturers, so that should help.

Coped very well with the rest if the day and now I know why she fell so far, so fast when it was so out of character, I feel less dreadful about missing the symptoms.

I am glad that post was deleted. Obviously I posted on here so I could 'man up' in RL. That is what MN is for, I reckon.

Everyone's support has been invaluable, and I passed some of the advice onto her son as well as it was so sensible.

Thank you x

Sunnywithshowers Tue 29-Jan-13 19:56:11

I'm so sorry Boffin. I lost a friend to suicide and it's awful.

Big hugs xxx

alicatte Tue 29-Jan-13 19:54:27

I too am so sorry for your loss - there is, I know, nothing that anyone can say that will help but sometimes people get so low that they can't see that they are worth anything and sometimes they think some very extreme actions are for the best. I guess that's what people mean by 'the balance of one's mind being disturbed'. It is awful for the people left. My friend's sister did that - she was just so low. My sister in law (a psychotherapist) has had to drive people to hospital because they were getting like this. It comes out of the blue it seems. I am so sorry for you all.

thekitchenfairy Tue 29-Jan-13 19:45:51

So sorry for your loss Boffin

Grief hits us like waves, sometimes when we least expect it, please be kind to yourself.

What a wonderful thing you did, to think of her DS.

BellaVita Tue 29-Jan-13 19:43:49

Sorry about your friend BoffinMum. Be kind to yourself xx

LemonBreeland Tue 29-Jan-13 19:40:16

Boffin so sorry for your loss. x

TheLightPassenger Tue 29-Jan-13 19:38:02

So sorry Boff.

MakeHayNotStraw Tue 29-Jan-13 19:37:06

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

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