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My friend just killed herself

(91 Posts)
BoffinMum Mon 28-Jan-13 23:27:41

I just found out this evening. Not sure what happened. She was lovely, I had no idea.

Anxiouswoman Tue 29-Jan-13 19:16:22

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

amillionyears Tue 29-Jan-13 19:16:32

So sorry Boffin.

Glad ClareM has been reported.
There are not words to say about that post.

libelulle Tue 29-Jan-13 19:17:32

I reported too, that was a vile post Clare.

So sorry boffin, such a shock.

MrsWolowitzerables Tue 29-Jan-13 19:18:17

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Elkieb Tue 29-Jan-13 19:20:26

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

SPBInDisguise Tue 29-Jan-13 19:20:40

So, so sorry boff x

Tobermory Tue 29-Jan-13 19:21:34

ClareMarriott- What a really horrible, thoughtless, mean post you wrote. Are you really so unkind that you think that is the best way to talk to someone who as jst suffered a loss? Words fail me.

I hope when you suffer a bereavement that people are kinder to you and less critical of how you handle it.

Tobermory Tue 29-Jan-13 19:23:41

And to Boffin, so sorry. Reaching out to your friends son was a very kind thing. My DM died when I was at Uni and I would have really appreciated very much a 'grown up' reaching out to me at the time.

mumof2teenboys Tue 29-Jan-13 19:23:52

Have just reported claire. First time I've ever done that.


Be kind to yourself, grief hits us all in different ways. Of course you are shocked and upset, any normal person would be. Make sure that you try to eat, little and often is good. Drink lots of milk as well if you can.
I am thinking of you and your friend.

Michelle x

amillionyears Tue 29-Jan-13 19:24:44

ClareM seems to be a regular poster on MN.
Some of her posts seems reasonable, and some not, from what I can see.

ouryve Tue 29-Jan-13 19:27:40

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

RandallPinkFloyd Tue 29-Jan-13 19:28:01

Please don't focus on one crappy post boffin. The whole point of you coming here is to get support for yourself.

No one thinks that is all you're going to do in RL. Everyone knows that in RL you will "man up" and do everything you possibly can to help and support her family and other friends.

That's precisely why you need somewhere to off load and process your own feelings of grief. Talk about whatever the hell you like whenever you like. There will always be someone here to listen.


TheDoctrineOfSciAndNatureClub Tue 29-Jan-13 19:29:23

So sorry BoffinMum x

ToomuchWaternotWine Tue 29-Jan-13 19:33:20

So very sorry for the loss of your friend Boffin, I hope you find some comfort in good memories eventually when the shock has passed. Take all the time you need, it's a terrible terrible thing.

SpringyReframed Tue 29-Jan-13 19:33:58

Boffin, so sorry for your loss.

A friend of mine committed suicide a year or so ago, at a time when my own life was pretty shite. I did go the funeral and I was so glad I did. If you could possibly find a way to go, or even to the after part like you mention, go. It is very therapeutic for everyone to be together and talk. It is good for you and it will be good for them especially the family. It is also the best way of saying goodbye.

RatherBeACyborg Tue 29-Jan-13 19:35:05

Im so sorry to hear that. X

MakeHayNotStraw Tue 29-Jan-13 19:37:06

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

TheLightPassenger Tue 29-Jan-13 19:38:02

So sorry Boff.

LemonBreeland Tue 29-Jan-13 19:40:16

Boffin so sorry for your loss. x

BellaVita Tue 29-Jan-13 19:43:49

Sorry about your friend BoffinMum. Be kind to yourself xx

thekitchenfairy Tue 29-Jan-13 19:45:51

So sorry for your loss Boffin

Grief hits us like waves, sometimes when we least expect it, please be kind to yourself.

What a wonderful thing you did, to think of her DS.

alicatte Tue 29-Jan-13 19:54:27

I too am so sorry for your loss - there is, I know, nothing that anyone can say that will help but sometimes people get so low that they can't see that they are worth anything and sometimes they think some very extreme actions are for the best. I guess that's what people mean by 'the balance of one's mind being disturbed'. It is awful for the people left. My friend's sister did that - she was just so low. My sister in law (a psychotherapist) has had to drive people to hospital because they were getting like this. It comes out of the blue it seems. I am so sorry for you all.

Sunnywithshowers Tue 29-Jan-13 19:56:11

I'm so sorry Boffin. I lost a friend to suicide and it's awful.

Big hugs xxx

BoffinMum Tue 29-Jan-13 20:18:36

Hello, I am back. I have been emailing her son backwards and forwards all day and I think he's more or less OK now. We're prob going to meet up next week and I'll take him out for tea or something. Main thing he gets through his finals, which I think may be imminent. I know a lot of his lecturers, so that should help.

Coped very well with the rest if the day and now I know why she fell so far, so fast when it was so out of character, I feel less dreadful about missing the symptoms.

I am glad that post was deleted. Obviously I posted on here so I could 'man up' in RL. That is what MN is for, I reckon.

Everyone's support has been invaluable, and I passed some of the advice onto her son as well as it was so sensible.

Thank you x

MmeLindor Tue 29-Jan-13 20:24:06

So sorry for your loss, Boffin. Glad that MN has been of help to you, and that you have had some good advice here.


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