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My friend just killed herself

(91 Posts)
BoffinMum Mon 28-Jan-13 23:27:41

I just found out this evening. Not sure what happened. She was lovely, I had no idea.

kissmyheathenass Tue 29-Jan-13 10:19:54

Crikey, I remember looking at a holiday snap of a group of friends - 2 had died in the 2 years since the picture was taken (cancer and hit by a lorry). It was a horrid moment wondering who would be next.

Mental health treatment is a scandal. I got help because I went private (lucky husband number 1 could foot the bills). NHS treatment times are woefully inadegquate for something that can escalate so quickly.

I hope your friends ds is surrounded by support.sad

AuldAlliance Tue 29-Jan-13 10:52:08

Shit, Boff, just seen this.
Call me if you need, number still the same.
Huge, un-MN hugs from me to you.

WankbadgersBreakfast Tue 29-Jan-13 11:34:16

I'm so very sorry for your loss sad

BoffinMum Tue 29-Jan-13 11:36:32

Her son has been in touch with me. He seemed to appreciate my email.
Trying to make it to after-funeral event.
Had a coffee and a go with the wet wipe, refreshed make up and actually managed to speak coherently in a meeting. It's amazing what a bit of support can do! Thanks MN people x

BoffinMum Tue 29-Jan-13 11:38:30

Managed to buy the wetwipes with Advantage card points therefore haven't even wrecked my no spend day for the other thread, and someone had even left 10p change in the self-scan machine <desperately hanging on to small pleasures>

Wondering - what things to read/think about in relation to loss of friends rather than family (feels like different type of grief).

PigeonStreet Tue 29-Jan-13 11:44:36

Hang on to any small positives you can boffin. I'm really sad to hear about your friend. Your concern for her son is probably very needed, I'm glad he replied. Hope the rest of your day goes ok.

BoffinMum Tue 29-Jan-13 14:22:02

I have found out a bit of background. She had a bad reaction to some medicine for heartburn, this stopped her sleeping for months, and then she just couldn't bear it any more.

Bloody hell.

duchesse Tue 29-Jan-13 14:36:00

Fecking hell, it's even worse to find out it was because of heartburn medication. What a senseless waste. sad

lurkerspeaks Tue 29-Jan-13 15:39:20

One of my friends committed suicide a long time ago. It is a strange way to be bereaaved.

As a recently bereaved adult child my siblings and I have really appreciated the people who have taken the time to get in touch and tell us stories about their relationship with my Mother. Someone even sent some fabulous photos of me as a 4 year old playing with their kids.

It certainly livened up an evening as my siblings committed fashion assasination at my brown cord jacket orange cord jeans outfit.

Cantbelieveitsnotbutter Tue 29-Jan-13 15:45:22

I'm so sorry for your loss.
I hope her son can take the small comfort she can finally rest now.

ClareMarriott Tue 29-Jan-13 18:52:10

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

PetiteRaleuse Tue 29-Jan-13 18:56:35

Very harsh Clare people react to grief in all kinds of funny ways. I focus on small things when in shock, like wipes, and when you're grieving you do think about yourself. Wy shouldn't you? Not a supportive comment at all..

TheAccidentalExhibitionist Tue 29-Jan-13 18:57:44

ClareMarriott - that's harsh and uncalled for. She's asking for support not criticism. I've reported your post.

readysteady Tue 29-Jan-13 19:00:15


Abra1d Tue 29-Jan-13 19:02:45

Grief is personal, isn't it? It's about how we respond to something shocking and sad. You can only describe grief in terms of how you feel. That doesn't make you selfish at all. And that's why people come here: to express how they feel so that they don't 'burden' people in real life.

BoffinMum Tue 29-Jan-13 19:04:34

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

ClaraOswinOswald Tue 29-Jan-13 19:05:40

So sorry, Boff. Can any of us help to enable you to attend the funeral? I'm in the South West and could help with childcare most days.

Elkieb Tue 29-Jan-13 19:06:14

OP, I'm so sorry for your loss. Grief is personal because ultimately the person who has died feels no more mental or physical pain but those who remain must suffer.

BoffinMum Tue 29-Jan-13 19:06:45

That was aimed at Clare, btw.

Elkieb Tue 29-Jan-13 19:08:13

An ex-patient of mine committed suicide a while ago, and I'll never forget the grief and suffering on the families faces. Boffin- please don't feel sad about feeling sad. She was your wonderful friend.

WandaDoff Tue 29-Jan-13 19:09:20

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

FiveGoMadInDorset Tue 29-Jan-13 19:11:01

Jesus Claire, talk about hitting below the belt.

so sorry to hear about your friend Boffin

QuickLookBusy Tue 29-Jan-13 19:13:12

BoffinMum ignore the shit.

We had a shocking bereavement last year, I know how shocked you must feel today. You ought to be so proud of the fact you made your meeting and kept it together.

Please be kind to yourself and take care.

PoppadomPreach Tue 29-Jan-13 19:14:29

ClareMarriott - why you felt the need to write such negative, unmitigated shite I will never know. You need to have a long, hard think about the kid of person you are if you felt that was in any way an appropriate comment.

OP, I am so sorry for your loss. I have (fortunately) only had to deal with a suicide attempt (my brother's) but it was just awful. Go easy on yourself.

BitterAndTwistedChoreDodger Tue 29-Jan-13 19:15:15

So sorry to hear about your friend, look after yourself.

Ignore the nasty bile up there.

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