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just lost my best friend my mum 5 days ago

(5 Posts)
shazatracy Tue 11-Dec-12 21:25:13

hi all came across this site . my mum died 5 days ago she had been ill for two years with a very rare illness one that should not realy take your life but mums was so aggressive it took her in the end. she fought so hard coming bk from the brinks of death so many times she realy did fight.but could no longer carry on .we traveled a hour away evrytime to see her because she was being cared for in a hospital that could deal with her.i am a only child and theres only my dad she has brothers and sisters and i have cousins but i feel so alone its hard . my mum and dad had been toghther over 50 yrs and i feel so helpless for mum was the most caring person you could ever know always there when there was a problem. im finding it so hard i feelim going crazy at times. the funeral is the 21st of dec how do i find the strength ive lost the only person who ever realy understood me .xxxxx

onemorehohoho Tue 11-Dec-12 22:47:13

So sorry for your loss sad
The early days are so hard, organising the funeral, supporting your Dad. Please take some time for you, to just cry and breathe and be.

My Mum was ill for a lot of years, and it felt strange for me for a long time after she died, there was a huge gap that used to be filled with caring for Mum. But eventually you will find a new kind of "normal".

50 years is a long time, your Dad is bound to be at a complete loss. Try and hold each other up, make sure you both eat, and be gentle with yourselves.

Take care xx

So sorry for your loss sad

Be gentle on yourself for now and the time ahead.

I hope you have a good support network? xx

Rycie Wed 12-Dec-12 13:10:28

Hi Shaza,

I'm so so sorry to hear about your mom. I lost my dad a few years ago very unexpectedly, and it turned my world upside down. The loss of a parent can be very hard to bear, and as someone said to me at the time, it is not something one understands unless you've been through it.

Perhaps there are other close friends or family members who can support your dad also? I know that, for me, my grieving process at losing my dad was entirely different to that of his partner's, or even my siblings. I believe that grief, and coming to terms with a loss like this, is something that we all deal with differently - even if you're grieving the same person and it can be a unique, and by definition isolating experience.

The sense of isolation is very normal - as I said I have siblings, and I felt incredibly alone when dad died. It seems so silly, given that I was 37, married, dc, job etc - but my first and most overwhelming thought was "who's going to take care of me now?" - even though the days of him practically taking care of me were long gone.

It is very very hard, but like most of these things, the only way out is through. Try and take it one day at a time, look after yourself as best you can - eat, sleep, rest. Grieve. Try not to worry about the funeral yet, you will cope with it on the day and for me it was an important part of the process of saying goodbye.


shazatracy Wed 12-Dec-12 16:36:18

thankyou all so much .sometimes i just need to talk to know there are people who have felt the pain and come out the otherside.

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