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Bereavement

My Mum has just died!

42 replies

GhoulwiththeFrothyCurl · 02/11/2012 20:02

Nothing else to say really, just that.

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Sparklingbrook · 02/11/2012 20:03

Oh Ghoul. I am so sorry, Are you ok, are you on your own?

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PoppadomPreach · 02/11/2012 20:04

I am so sorry to hear that.

Was it a sudden death, or had she been ill for a while?

Either way, it is a very, very hard thing to cope with (speaking from experience). But you will cope.

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missymoomoomee · 02/11/2012 20:04

Ghoul I am so so sorry. Have you got someone with you?

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beachyhead · 02/11/2012 20:04

Oh I'm so sorry......It's such a horrid feeling, I know.

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ISingSoprano · 02/11/2012 20:05

I am really sorry - was this sudden? Do you have family or friends to support you?

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GhoulwiththeFrothyCurl · 02/11/2012 20:06

Should have changed my name back before posting. My DH is here. We had just driven back after visiting her in hospital, then I had the call telling me. DH was out at the time, but he has now returned.

Had to ring her sister to tell her, which was horrible. Don't want to tell our sons until tomorrow. So sad. Now have no parents left.

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Portofino · 02/11/2012 20:06

So sorry to hear this. Sad Like the others said...have you got someone to be with you?

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Choufleur · 02/11/2012 20:07

So sorry. My mum died recently - let anyone help who offers and you want around. Do whatever you feel is right for you and your family.

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MikeLitoris · 02/11/2012 20:07

:(

So sorry to hear this ghoul.

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Sleepingbunnies · 02/11/2012 20:08

So sorry for you. Won't say I know how you feel because My mum died when I was 4... So I never really knew her to miss but 23 years on i still wish she was here... :(

Go easy on yourself xxx

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GhoulwiththeFrothyCurl · 02/11/2012 20:08

She was in her eighties and was very fit and well up to about a year ago. Then she simply decided that she had had enough and stopped eating. She lost loads of weight since Christmas, got worse and worse and then refused any intervention when she was emitted to hospital. My siblings all rallied around and tried to help her, but she was adamant. Feel so upset that we were not enough to keep her happy and with us.

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weegiemum · 02/11/2012 20:09

So sorry to hear this xx

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maybeyoushoulddrive · 02/11/2012 20:09

I'm so sorry.
If u want to chat to others who have been through the same, join is on the bereavement thread... I can't link - on my phone - but we have all lost our Mums. It's a very caring place where you'll be welcomed.

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GhoulwiththeFrothyCurl · 02/11/2012 20:13

Thanks everyone, you are all very kind x

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myflabberisgasted · 02/11/2012 20:15

I'm so, so sorry ghoul.

My thoughts are with you and your family at this sad time Sad xx

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morethanpotatoprints · 02/11/2012 20:16

I'm so sorry for you. Please take time and do whats best for you. Please don't think you weren't enough for her.
My parents both died within 6 months of each other, I know how you feel.
Sending you virtual hugs Sad

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missymoomoomee · 02/11/2012 20:16

Ghoul please don't think that you weren't enough to keep her happy, you will torture yourself thinking like that. :(

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tschiffely · 02/11/2012 20:16

thinking of you and yours, lighting a candle for your mum x

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ChippingInLovesAutumn · 02/11/2012 20:17

Ghoul - I am so very sorry. It must be really hard to accept that this was a choice she made :( I'm sure it's no reflection on how much she loved you, just that in her 80s she was a bit tired of life & possibly no longer enjoying a great quality of life. Do you get on well with your siblings? Big hugs x

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GhoulwiththeFrothyCurl · 02/11/2012 20:18

It's so difficult to understand when she wasn't actually physically ill. DHs Mum battled for years in terrible pain and never gave up like this. I feel as if she didn't want me any more. Daft I know. I am in my fifties and should know better!

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GhoulwiththeFrothyCurl · 02/11/2012 20:19

One good thing that has come out of all this is that my siblings have become much closer.

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TidyDancer · 02/11/2012 20:19

I'm so sorry to hear of your loss.

Thoughts with you. x

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chimchar · 02/11/2012 20:21

So sorry to hear about your mum.

I was able to take a lot of comfort from posters here when I lost my mum very suddenly. I hope you can do the same.

Thinking of you x

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GhoulwiththeFrothyCurl · 02/11/2012 20:23

Thank you all, it is wonderful how total strangers can be so kind and helpful.

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BCBG · 02/11/2012 20:23

Ghoul I have been there too, its not that she didn't want you, it's more that she knew you didn't need her - and God knows I've talked to thin air and said 'you silly bat, of course I needed you, I will always need you', but I think sometimes people know when they have reached the end of what they want, and it is their choice, I suppose. It's not a reflection on their love for those who stay behind. In an odd way I admire you Mum for knowing what she wanted and I think you can probably take comfort one day from knowing that it must have been a conscious choice and therefore what she wanted. I am so sorry for your loss though, and go easy, because it is a very tough thing to process, whatever the circumstances. Hugs.

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