Lost my baby boy ...

[marietje]

I've never posted on here before but I just wanted to write this down. I feel so incredibly sad and I can't believe this happened to us.

I was 40 weeks and 5 days pregnant last Saturday when I went to the hospital with painful contractions. I got checked and my baby's heartbeat as well as everything else was fine, but I was only 1cm dilated so went home. When I went back the next afternoon with increasingly painful and frequent contractions, they couldn't find his heartbeat any more, even though I felt him move that morning and he had his usual hiccups. From then on everything just seemed like a very bad dream, although I somehow managed to stay very calm throughout. Everybody in the hospital was very supportive and understanding, and I had a great doula, but the reality hit after he was born the next morning.

My husband and I saw him, held him and we called him Oskar. He looked like he was just asleep and he is the most beautiful and sweet little boy I've ever seen.

It's only a few days ago and I know it's going to be a long and hard process, but right now I'm not sure how we can survive this.

Thanks for reading...

[Jollyb]

So sorry to hear about Oskar. X

[RandomMess]

So sorry to hear about Oskar's death

[cat]

So sorry for your loss x

[MikeLitoris]

I'm very sorry for your loss.

RIP little Oscar.

[WandaDoff]

So sorry to hear about Oskar

[GlesgaRocket]

I can't begin to understand what you must be going through, but i just wanted to say that i am so sorry for your loss.

[LadyMargolotta]

I'm so sorry Oskar is a lovely name. Did you take photos of him?

[cheeseandmushroomtoastie]

So so sorry for your loss.

[Everhopeful83]

I honestly dont know what to say and cannot even imagine the pain that you must be going through.

I think you are very brave to be able to tell your story and although this probably doesnt mean alot, I am sending you my heartfelt sympathy for your loss.

x

[SwimmingLikeADuck]

Oh my, you poor, poor thing. That must have been, and still be, incredibly shocking. Do you have some real life support? Someone to hold your hand?
Oskar is a lovely name. Im so sorry you are on this long road and send you warm wishes. Look after yourself. More experienced folk will be here in a minute.

[fluffacloud]

What an awful thing to happen. So sorry for your loss.

My thoughts are with you and your husband.

[GracieGirl]

I don't know what to say. So very very sad. It's just not fair.

[Overreactionoftheweek]

I'm so sorry about your loss - Oskar is a lovely name. Sending you lots of love and support x

[SarryB]

Sending hugs and love to you and your partner. Oskar is a gorgeous name.

[StrawberryMojito]

May your special boy rest in peace x

[converseconvert]

I'm so sorry for your loss

[MangoHedgehog]

I'm so sorry for your loss. What a dreadful thing to happen. :( sending you and your family warm wishes.

[Badvoc]

What a lovely name.
I am very sorry op.
I simply dont know what else to say.
X

[Crimebusterofthesea]

What a beautiful name for a beautiful boy. I am so so sorry for your loss and send you very warm wishes xx

[ByGrabtharsHammer]

I'm so very sorry. What has happened to you, your husband and Oskar was my greatest fear during pregnancy, and I simply can't imagine the pain you are feeling right now. It's so unfair.

[JugglingWithPossibilities]

I'm so sorry
Much love to you from us all on here x

[Ninjahobbit]

so sorry for your loss, cant begin to imagine what you are going through, my thoughts are with you and your partner and extended family.

RIP Oskar

[crazypaving]

Oh my God I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how heartbroken you are. How absolutely awful, poor you and poor little Oskar

[Norem]

So so sorry for you both.
Some babies just seem to drift away with no warning or reason, it is such a shock and so devastating :(
You will always be oskars mum and dad and he will always be your firstborn, your love for him won't diminish.
I am a midwife and every time this happens it seems so senseless to us too.
Lots of love to you both. X

[marietje]

Thank you so much for your messages, it really means very much to me.

We've got a beautiful photo of Oskar, although it's almost too hard to look at it right now. My husband has been very supportive, but it's obviously incredibly hard for him too. We haven't told many people yet because it's still so raw. Both our families live abroad and we've spoken a lot on the phone. My mum can't come over because she is undergoing chemotherapy treatment and I know she is so sad about that. We're very fortunate that two close friends have been there for us all the time this week.