Advice please - late wife's clothes

(15 Posts)
fortyplus Mon 10-Sep-12 00:07:43

When my dad died my mum offered his best friend the pick of his clothes (they were the same shape wink )
The rest went to the shop run by his favourite charity.

Rindercella Mon 10-Sep-12 00:02:18

Everlong, hug to you lovely lady x

Rindercella Mon 10-Sep-12 00:01:49

Oh, I am so sorry you have lost your wife to this bastard disease.

My DH died of cancer 17 months ago and actually I have only just started going through his clothes. It hasn't been quite as hard as I thought it might be. His son (my DSS) has taken some things, I am keeping a few bits for my 2 DDs and me as keepsakes and I took a couple of bin bag full of old underwear, PJs, t-shirts, etc., to the clothes back. My BIL and nephews will then have their pick, along with his mother and sisters. When that is done I will take the rest of the good stuff to a charity shop, although I am loving the idea of a couple of blankets being made from his jumpers for my DDs. What a lovely, lovely idea.

How are you Sisyphus? How are your children doing? You know, there is no rush in any of this. Take your time and be kind to yourself. Your loss is huge and it's still so very, very recent. I am so sorry.

everlong Sun 09-Sep-12 20:09:14

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Cremolafoam Sat 08-Sep-12 22:57:32

A really nice thing to do us make a cushion out of two of mums jumpers for your dcs. My niece has one made from her mums fave jumper on her bed. Her mum died when she was 5.
Do get someone else to bag up the other stuff if you don't feel up to it.
Vv sorry for your loss .sad

mumblecrumble Sat 08-Sep-12 22:44:31

Hi there,

Sorry to hear of your loss, can;t imagine what you are going through but wanted to say sorry.

I buy lots from charity shops and appreciate having nice clothes that are cheap and being able to donate to that charity. i think charity shops are a winner all round. Also some charity shops pick up, which may be easier for you.

When my Grandma died about 20 years ago I was given a cardigan of hers and I still treasure it. I know thats not the same for you but I was thinking of your family.

I think if I was in your situation i would appreciate soebody else going theough them and sorting them, making them look nice and hanging them for new customers rather thandoing that myself for ebay/family etc. Mind you, if they are all the same size you could do bulk lots on ebay. Then get something ncie for the house / your sons with the money.

Sos orry youo in htis crappy situation. Glad you have found mumsnet and hope it can be some help adn comfort.

Chunkamatic Sat 08-Sep-12 22:29:57

I would suggest a charity donation, maybe to cancer research or another cause your wife felt strongly about. I like the idea of asking your sons if there is anything hey would like to keep, though.

I'm so sorry for your loss, this must be such a difficult time for you and your sons.


twinklesunshine Sat 08-Sep-12 20:35:05


Not sure if this is something that you would think about, but I lost my little 3 year old son in March, and last week I took all his clothes to a lady that is going to make a quilt out of them for me. Thought this would be nice for me, but also for my other children to remember him. His clothes bring back lots of memories to me and I am hoping that it will bring me comfort.

However, when my mum died, my dad donated all her clothes to a charity shop, apart from some bits that he wanted to keep, and me and my sisters also took a few bits that were important to us, although I imagine that we were a lot older than your children. (20s) Dad took them to a charity shop miles away from home though, as he was really worried about seeing someone walking around in her things.


RandomMess Sat 08-Sep-12 20:24:01

Depends how you feel about them?

Do you think you will find it upsetting if you sell them etc? The realit of people picking through her clothes, if so charity shop could be the best option.

AuntySib Sat 08-Sep-12 20:23:26

So sorry for your loss.
I think it depends on what you can cope with - it would be nice to let friends choose some your wife's clothes, but presumably there would still be some left, which means you wouldn't be able to get it done in one hit. Charity would be a nice option, with the bonus of being able to do it all in one swoop. Personally, i would feel that Ebaying would be a long, drawn out process, and maybe too emotionally draining, although if she had some really nice stuff ( designer labels), you might appreciate the extra cash.
I'd say do whatever is easiest, you need to be kind to yourself right now. Maybe there are friends or family who might help?

ohmeohmy Sat 08-Sep-12 20:23:25

Sorry to hear that you are In this situation. Perhaps you could do some of each option. If your wife had designer pieces that might fetch a bit on eBay then that might be worth the hassle. Otherwise perhaps donate them to a charity she supported. If doing things piece by piece is too much for you the latter might be easier. I hope you are getting the support you need.

fridayfreedom Sat 08-Sep-12 20:21:55

how about asking your DSs if they would like anything such as a jumper to remember her by. Might help them if they can cuddle it if they get upset.
Then charity shop the rest. Friends may find it a bit difficult to take their pick and ebaying them may feel hard for you.
Sorry this has happened, it must be really hard.

Mintyy Sat 08-Sep-12 20:20:49

I am very sorry to hear about your dw.

When my father died, his wife (not my mum) donated his clothes to the charity shop that supports the hospice he was looked after in.

SisyphusDad Sat 08-Sep-12 20:18:21

getting organised, dammit.

OP’s posts: |
SisyphusDad Sat 08-Sep-12 20:16:27

I lost my wife (and mother to two DSs) to cancer and leukaemia at the end of July and I'm slowly and progressively organised.

However there's one thing I'm at a loss to know what to do with - her clothes. I can think of a few options: charity; ebay; bin; invite friends to take their pick.

What would you recommend?

OP’s posts: |

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