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my dad has died

(35 Posts)
SophySinclair Thu 30-Aug-12 21:59:43

After an estrangement of two years, my dad has died suddenly at the age of 52.
I can't breathe.

AmazingBouncingFerret Thu 30-Aug-12 22:00:26

I'm so sorry to hear this Sophy.


Mintyy Thu 30-Aug-12 22:00:36


hermionestranger Thu 30-Aug-12 22:00:44

Not much advice but couldn't read and run.

Deep breaths and take it one minute at a time. Hugs to you Sophy.

emmylou157 Thu 30-Aug-12 22:02:15

I know exactly how you feel. My dad died a week ago tomorrow very suddenly. |He was only 56. Try to stay calm and don't hold your emotions in. Is somebody there with you?

SophySinclair Thu 30-Aug-12 22:03:20

not yet. DH on way home.

BadRoly Thu 30-Aug-12 22:12:43

My Dad died in May. My experience/advice would be to go with your emotions. Accept that you are numb/sad/angry/whatever and just roll with it.

I am so sorry. X

ToothbrushThief Thu 30-Aug-12 22:16:50

Aw Sophy - hugs

Take it a step at a time. Let it all out and don't bottle up anything.

emmylou157 Thu 30-Aug-12 22:17:10

I don't have any answers I am afraid I'm on here trying to find some myself. All I can say is I'm so sorry. It is a horrible horrible time and it may not sink in for a while. I cried for about 2 days and then went numb and today am finding it really hard. Keep your family close and cry all you need to. Take care of yourself and focus on doing the simple things - eating and sleeping for now and don't worry about the rest x

chipmonkey Thu 30-Aug-12 22:31:21

I am so sorry, Sophy. Regardless of how you feel about them/get on with them, the death of a parent will always hurt xx

SophySinclair Thu 30-Aug-12 22:37:49

thank you. My mother and he had separated 2 years ago after a dreadful marriage. He became impossible and I had to break contact. He drank himself to death, literally.

superdragonmama Thu 30-Aug-12 22:38:11

I am so sorry x

Is your dh home now? Please be very kind to yourself as you'll be in shock. X

headinhands Thu 30-Aug-12 22:39:49

Sorry Sophy. Sorry for you loss.

Hassled Thu 30-Aug-12 22:39:59

BadRoly is quite right - whatever you are feeling is the way you should be feeling. Don't try to fight it. Most of all, I'd imagine at this stage you're in shock. Go easy on yourself - and talk here as much as you need.

Sharpkat Thu 30-Aug-12 22:49:44

Sophy - sending you unmumsnetty hugs and so feel for you.

I was estranged from my father for 2 years before he died suddenly one day aged 56.

The shock is enormous and it will take a long time to sink in. Just take each hour at a time. You will go through a rollercoaster of emotions.

It does get better over time, but that initial period is truly awful.

Cry when you can and get as much love and support as you can.

PM me if you need any support x

LaurieFairyCake Thu 30-Aug-12 22:52:04

Mine drank himself to death too - just try to do everything to look after yourself, it's horrible when parents make terrible choices.

t875 Fri 31-Aug-12 09:20:14

So sorry for your loss Sophy. It is so very hard to lose a parent, i lost mine this year suddenly to a massive stroke and i still miss her loads, it has got easier though as the times gone on.

hugs to you and support for the time you have ahead. x

OhGood Fri 31-Aug-12 09:23:03

I am so sorry. Even harder when you're estranged as the emotions are less clear-cut. I hope you are finding the support you need.

foofooyeah Fri 31-Aug-12 09:31:34

How sad, I hope you find some peace. You will go through a whole heap of emotions as another poster said 'Just roll with it'

I know someone who went through similar and how hard it was for her (her estranged mother drank herself to death).

crisisofidentity Fri 31-Aug-12 09:47:23

Sophy, so very sorry. You will be going through so much now, just try and bear with it, it is a terrible shock.

BikeRunSki Fri 31-Aug-12 11:11:35

I'm so sorry. My dad died 19 years ago, when he was 61 and I was 23. I was at work when I got the call and I cried buckets right there in the office. He'd been ill for over 10 years but it was still a shock. I don't think a day passes without me thinking of him, but in time it has only been the good times that stay with me. Sometimes I have little chats with him, usually to tell him how his DGCs are doing. The both know about "Grandpa Matthew" and we have an old picnic rug of his for snuggling under (in this way he helped them both recover from Chicken Pox).

The shock and tears will subside, and the nostalgia and happy memories will rise to the top. It may take months or years, and it is fine to be sad, to cry, to be conflicted, angry, relieved maybe, glad possibly if it was a bad relatioship, shocked, upset and all the other emotions you are feeling right now. Look after yourself, ask for as much help as you need. And hold onto your DH and DCs just a little bit tighter tonight.

everlong Fri 31-Aug-12 14:15:57

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

ILovePonyo Fri 31-Aug-12 18:19:30

Sophy I'm sorry. My dad died suddenly in April, the shock was huge and I'm still finding it hard to face up to it.

If it would help definitely talk about your dad here, sending you a hug.

Dumbleweed Fri 31-Aug-12 18:37:00


My dad died suddenly at 57. He was very difficult and I didn't expect to be as badly affected as I was.

Go with your feelings. Do what you need to do. It is a confusing time.

Thoughts are with you.

bezabeza Fri 31-Aug-12 23:29:16

Lots of love and hugs to you. My dad died last wednesday...we had the funeral yesterday...this is all very new. Please message me if you feel like sharing some feelings and thoughts. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

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