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Any advice for house clearing of a loved one?(5 Posts)
<Sigh> We are clearing my Mum's house and am finding it hard to stop worrying about things we are getting rid of/ donating to charity. Her death (not recent) was very unexpected so there was no opportunity for talking / planning. It's so hard to know what is precious and what isn't. I suppose that everything there is an object and losing her was the hardest bit. There are obvious things to keep and obvious things we have taken to charity, but there seems to be a grey area in the middle too.
Does anyone have any experience of this or any advice? Maybe I need to be more ruthless!
I can't help with the emotional side, which is just very very hard, but do beware of people who want her books - seemingly worthless paperbacks are sought after by "collectors" or "dealers" who hope she, in common with many older people, hid cash inside. Also check before you throw them out!
For me just deciding on a day it had to be done and getting it done quickly was the best. We probably kept too much though.
Thanks for your reply Condover and yes, I agree with the getting it done quickly sentiment. I fear my house may start bulging at the sides soon! Funnily enough, I have flicked through all books before putting aside for charity. Hadn't thought of the money but more of any inscriptions as a clue to where they came from, or any little notes or photos that may have been hiding. Some were hiding our homemade bookmarks or little scribbles we'd done as children. Thank you for the warning though as it hadn't occurred to me.
My brother and I have got to do this soon for our parents' house. Not looking forward to it <understatement>.
The grey area is terrifying. I think I'm going to go for hoarding things and figuring it out at a later date. If in doubt, keep, hoard and decide later. Time passing makes it easier to know what you want to keep in my experience.
I'm thinking of it as a bit like thinning a row of plants, working out which are the strongest and how many can stay to fill the available space.
Sorry you are having to do this too zeno. We are nearly done, but I am physically & emotionally exhausted. Your 'plant' thinking is the way forward. Over thinking things is my problem- as is separating objects from my mum. On a nicer note, I found some lovely little treasures to keep which is a comfort. I wish you luck and hope you find some comfort in a few keepsakes. All the best.