lost my baby at the weekend and I'm so sad

(98 Posts)
weewilliewinkie Mon 27-Feb-06 09:55:35

I was 15+2 wks, and had let myself believe that by getting past the first 12 weeks, everything would be just fine. I had a slight bleed on Friday and went to the hospital. The scan showed that the baby's heart had stopped. I couldn't believe my eyes.

I then had a d&c on saturday - however the pessary they gave me worked so well that I passed my baby before they took me in to surgery. I saw the little thing and just wanted to scream. I keep replaying the whole day in my head, every time I close my eyes all I can see is the blood and my poor baby.

I am just in pieces, I keep weeping, I feel a real pain in my heart. It's all very well for people to tell you that it was never meant to be, and nature was taking its course, and I'm not alone, but really none of that helps yet.

Can someone tell me that this pain will pass, that one day I'll feel better? I will never forget my little baby but I need to know that one day, I don't care when, I'll be ok.

I have a perfect 2 year old ds, without him I don't know how I'd cope. My dh is being amazing too. Thanks for letting me write so much, this alone has helped even if no-one writes back.

OP’s posts: |
Cadbury Mon 27-Feb-06 09:59:22

I'm sorry sorry for what you are going through - I can't imagine how you feel. I just wanted to send you a hug as thats all I feel qualified to do.
Take care xxx

lizardqueen Mon 27-Feb-06 09:59:42

Oh my dear, I am so so sorry. I don't have any directly helpful experience but I just want to send you my best wishes. Many others on here will be able to find better words of comfort for you.

xx

LadySherlockofLGJ Mon 27-Feb-06 09:59:49

Oh sweetheart.

I had a M/C at 7 weeks, 5 years ago, You will never forget your baby, the pain will subside and then it becomes a memory.

I am not very good at this sort of stuff, someone will be along soon who I am sure will be able to help.

Take care.

heavenis Mon 27-Feb-06 09:59:54

I am so sorry for your loss. I haven't been through this personally. Hopefully other will be along that have.
Take care of yourself and give yourself time to grieve.

BudaBabe Mon 27-Feb-06 10:00:12

Oh you poor poor thing! I am so sorry for you and your little baby.

Have never lost a baby but can imagine how traumatic it was for you.

Would love to be able to say something to help the hurt to go away. All I can say is that you will feel better. But you need to grieve first. You will go through lots of different emotions and it is all normal but the hurt WILL ease.

Look after yourself and keep coming on here - there are lots of people who have been through it and can be of some support.

RachD Mon 27-Feb-06 10:00:18

How traumatic weewilliewinkie.
I am so sorry - And I really mean that.

Lacrimosa Mon 27-Feb-06 10:00:54

I am so verry sorry for you You must be going through unimaginable pain, my herat goes out to you and yes you will never forget ,but I assure you, you will be ok. Everyone takes different times to heal and I'm sure that with the support of yourdh and ds you will be ok xx

winnie Mon 27-Feb-06 10:01:09

weewilliewinkie, I am so sorry. Of course you are in pieces you are grieving. I am sure other MN's will have more advice but just wanted to reply to your sad post. Please take care of yourself.

NomDePlume Mon 27-Feb-06 10:01:11

Thinking of you weewilliewinkie, be kind to yourself x

Flossam Mon 27-Feb-06 10:02:08

Oh WWW I am so sorry. And what an awful way for it all to happen for you. I hope that time will help to heal you gradually. Take things easy and don't expect anything of yourself, just go along with however you are feeling. Look after yourself and again, I am very sorry.

giddy1 Mon 27-Feb-06 10:02:11

Message deleted

zippitippitoes Mon 27-Feb-06 10:03:11

my sympathy to you and your family, take the time to grieve and accept all the support and kindness offered from those around you in the coming weeks. You won't overcome your loss but over time the pain will slowly heal.

take care xx

beatie Mon 27-Feb-06 10:03:43

I'm so sorry to hear you lost your baby. Your experience sounds very traumatic.

People say things meaning well but it doesn't always help. Of course you wanted a healthy baby but you wanted that baby to be the one.

You could contact the Miscarriage association.

Sorry for short post, I'm one hab=nded typing.

Mistymoo Mon 27-Feb-06 10:04:14

Also thinking of you. Take care of yourself and rely on your friends and family when they offer help.

weewilliewinkie Mon 27-Feb-06 10:10:42

can't believe how many of you have posted already. Thank you. You are all so kind.

It helps knowing I'm not alone.

Crying again!

OP’s posts: |
coppertop Mon 27-Feb-06 10:12:17

I'm so sorry, weewilliewinkie. I hope you find the support you need to help you through this. xxx

PiccadillyCircus Mon 27-Feb-06 10:13:05

I'm really sorry for you. I can't imagine how you are feeling, but wanted to let you know that you are being thought about.

lucy5 Mon 27-Feb-06 10:13:50

Just want to say how sorry I am. No words can make a difference but will keep you and yours in my thoughts. So sorry

cori Mon 27-Feb-06 10:14:46

Weewilliewinkie,
I am so sorry to hear such sad news. I know exactly how you feel. I went through a similar experience almost a year ago now. I was 16 weeks pregnant when I was called into hospital for a scan as a result of some abnormal blood test results. They found the baby had no heartbeat, after a perfectly normal 12 week scan and a hearing normal FHB three days earlier. I was in complete shock, I had no bleeding, no pain no warning at all. I had to go through the induction birth process. I saw the baby too, I am glad I did.
I can assure you the pain will pass and one day in a couple of months you will probably feel back to your old self. But it will stay with you for a long time to come.

Somethings that helped.
Dont rush yourself back to normal life, you need time to come to terms with it.
We planted a tree i a forest.
Went away for a minibreak. Getting away from it all really helped.

lockets Mon 27-Feb-06 10:14:56

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HellKat Mon 27-Feb-06 10:17:16

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
I'm so very sorry.
I've never lost a baby so far on (my 4 mc's were before 10wks).
Hunny, there'll be plenty of women on here who have been through exactly the same thing and will offer you amazing advice.
Only thing I can offer is give yourself time to grieve.
Thinking of you & your family x

Hulababy Mon 27-Feb-06 10:17:52

So sorry

Tommy Mon 27-Feb-06 10:20:03

so so sorry
Had a similar experience just under a year ago.
Nothing anyone can say will make it any better at the moment but, in time, it will be a little easier to handle.
Can't tell you how sorry I am

spacecadet Mon 27-Feb-06 10:20:13

WWW-im so very sorry to hear of your loss, i lost a babyat 16 weeks a year ago, then another at 23 weeks in october, my baby was due this month and im still grieving, i know it sounds like an old cliche, but time does heal, but you have to be kind to yourself, allow yourself to grieve, let the tears flow, then when you feel able, do something to remember your baby, buy a spe cial tree or plant for the garden.

Spacecadet x

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