So sad for my lovely friend, don't know what to do :(

(11 Posts)
LollipopViolet Sun 17-Jun-12 09:17:14

I hope no one minds me posting this here today, it being Father's Day, but it seemed wrong putting it in Chat.

My lovely friend lost her Dad in the early hours of this morning sad

Her DM has posted the news on FB to let everyone know. He had lung cancer and was told 2.2 years ago he had 18 months. I didn't know him really, but am close to DFriend, her mum, and brother.

Our group of friends has never experienced the loss of a parent (we're all 21-22) so I'm a bit lost as to what to do, or say.

My family is going to send a card to them, but I need friend's address and it feels weird contacting her today - my heart says wait til tomorrow at least. But I don't know, is that right? Also, I want to send them something - but I don't know what.

Can I just leave this little message here for now?

R.I.P A, you were a fighter and you did your family proud x

C, S and D, you're all in my thoughts x

(PS: I'm sorry if I've upset any posters - definitely not my intentions, I just needed to write some stuff down).

OP’s posts: |
everlong Sun 17-Jun-12 09:33:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

boohoohoo Sun 17-Jun-12 09:34:01

Yes, definitely leave her a message today, she'll remember that forever. As for after, just let her know you are there for her.

MOSagain Sun 17-Jun-12 09:34:02

sad how awful for your friend, today of all days.
Send her a nice message today if it feels right, text or email and give it a few days to ask for address maybe?
I lost my dad years ago and still find fathers day hard, like I should be doing something.

anniewoo Sun 17-Jun-12 09:34:48

A text is the best-non intrusive but shows you are thinking of her.

LollipopViolet Sun 17-Jun-12 09:40:06

Thank you everyone - that really helps.

I think I'll send her a message today to say I'm thinking of them all, then play it by ear if friend replies.

Again, thank you all.

OP’s posts: |
brabbinsandfyffe Sun 17-Jun-12 09:45:53

Your poor friend. Would suggest you keep texting now and again just so she knows you're there when she's ready - my friend did this every couple of days, and it felt like she was right there but not hurryingme.

madasa Sun 17-Jun-12 14:09:47

I appreciated all the texts when my dad died Lollipop, even if I couldn't face speaking to anyone, it was comfort.

A friend of mine lost her dear mum a couple of months ago. I text her every week or so just to let her know that I am thinking of her.

You sound like a lovely friend x

LollipopViolet Sun 17-Jun-12 14:14:55

Well, I sent an initial message to friend's FB inbox, as I don't think I have her current mobile number sad

However, another friend has text her and had a reply. C says she's holding up OK, and wants to cuddle said friend's 10mo. Baby cuddles make things just that bit better (I have cuddled said little one during deadline stress and when my boyfriend was in hospital, and it does help!).

I will wait for C to reply to my initial message, then will get her address and phone number.

OP’s posts: |
chipmonkey Mon 18-Jun-12 00:33:57

Lollipop, the other thing to remember is that she will still be missing her Dad months down the line and just keep asking how she is. I lost my Dad 10 years ago and my daughter 8 months ago. The true friends are the ones who keep texting and keep asking, even months down the line.

CoffeeDog Mon 18-Jun-12 14:25:03

I had some lovley text's & facebook messages when my mum died from people i hadn't seen in a long time. I was lovley to read them and know that somwhere out there somone was thinking of you. Please send a message it will mean a lot. xx

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