anyone know of a forum that would be of help to me?

(8 Posts)
ShabbaWanks Thu 07-Jun-12 22:53:56

Hi I very recently lost my dad, not even had the funeral yet. he had been ill for a while but it was still a real shock. He was an alcoholic. Does anyone know of a forum or site that might be useful for me? the only one i have found is called sober recovery, its huge and seems more geared up for alcoholics/drug users themselves.
I am really struggling with a lot of conflicting emotions, the overriding one being that I should have done more/visited more.

I actually don't know how I am going to get through this. I always hoped he would get better and be the wonderful man he was when he wasn't 'in drink'. he will never get better now sad

OP’s posts: |
supermumSarah Thu 07-Jun-12 23:01:58

I wish I could help. I too lost my dad and feel I could have done more. I had too arrange the whole funeral as my brothers didn't care less. This was six months ago and I'm still struggling..

ShabbaWanks Fri 08-Jun-12 22:57:27

thanks supermum, sorry you lost your dad, luckily my sisters and mum have been helping with the funeral (it was today) I just cant stop crying, we have to interr the ashes tomorrow so its like going through the funeral all over again.

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t875 Fri 08-Jun-12 23:27:37

Oh shabba. It's such a horrendous time and feel for you so much. Cry when you need too talk as much as you need too, go with how you feel. It really is such a hard time. Talk to him, he will be always with you. It's all part of what I went through, I lost my mum to a sudden stroke which killed her straightway, into a coma after a week she passed away im still in shock on and off and things run though my head. There was a something someone said on MN with grief some o round it, some try to climb over it, and some go through it. I go through it and ride the waves.

So very sorry your going through this, thinking of you, this forum has been great for me since losing my mum. X

ShabbaWanks Sun 10-Jun-12 13:32:20

hi thanks, so sorry you lost your mum suddenly. we have had the funeral and interrment now, and I am finding I feel ok, but whenever i try to do something like housework etc i feel totally overwhelmed. I feel overwhelmed by the future in general and at the thought of having to sort out his house and accounts etc. I struggle enough with my own life, as i have a couple of chronic heath problems and i dont know how i am going to manage all dads stuff as well.I feel bad for feeling like this

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t875 Sun 10-Jun-12 23:53:01

Take each day slowly, minute by minute hour by hour this is the only way I got through the first part, was very hard. Do what you can do when you have times of energy, get help too, is there anyone that can help you?? Do u know children who can help?? If you feel you need too cruise apparently are very good.

It was my youngests birthday party today and it was a killer!! Missed my mum so much but u know she's around us, and I'm sure having a sausage roll as she loved them!

Don't push yourself and don't rush to do everything, it can wait, take baby steps Hun. Take care thoughts are with you x

t875 Sun 10-Jun-12 23:54:06

Sorry typo, meaning do u have children to help you? X

LonaMisa Mon 11-Jun-12 09:30:28

hi its me, shabba, thanks I have two young teen boys, they are helping round the house a bit more than usual, I am finding i get very stressed out, and the clutter in my house is really annoying me, where before i didn't really care. I have found myself stomping round saying ' i cant believe we live in this shit pit!' which is something I used to do in the past when I was very stressed out.

I am crying less now, which on some level feels bad, like i don't want to let go of the crying and the grief, as it feels like i no longer care, or something.

I am going to ask the housing association (his LL) if they offer any help with clearing properties of deceased, as I just can't do it all myself, especially as we don't have a car and his place is several miles away.

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