Skip to main content
Skip to main navigation
Skip to talk navigation

Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Saved Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Flip

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

1 2

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

m/c @9wks. what to expect?

31 replies

CarlyP · 22/02/2006 09:29

Hi everyone,

can you please help. i am having a m/c. confirmed at hospital on friday. i was 8+6wks. i have started lightly bleeding with a fews pains, but nothing major.

can anyone tell me what to expect?

thanks

Cx

OP posts:

Report

Enif · 22/02/2006 09:32

so sorry to hear this. I m/cd at about 8 weeks a couple of years ago. I found it very painful actually by the second day so do make sure you have some very strong painkillers to hand (solpadeine max are good). If it makes you feel better I didnt 'see' a fetus, just lots of clots.

I went for a scan the week after which confirmed that I had m/c completely. As my uterus was completely empty they said I could start trying immediately. I left it a couple of months then got pg with dd2 who is now a bouncy, bossy 3 year old.

Dh and I went down to the sea for a walk when I had begun to miscarry and it was really nice. We didnt say anything mcuh but it was very thoughtful and calming.

Kitty4Paws · 22/02/2006 09:41

No advice, my m/c ended with d+c, Just wanted to say sorry that you are going through this, if you do need a d+c (which is unlikley) it is ok , no "nice", but ok. I hope that you are able to try again soon.

CarlyP · 22/02/2006 09:44

thanks. back at work. not sure if/when we will try again. wait until this is 'over' and then see.

cx

OP posts:

Dinosaur · 22/02/2006 09:44

CarlyP, I had a very similar experience to Enid - miscarried at about 9 weeks, it was just like a really heavy period. Got pregnant about three months later with DS2.

Sorry you are having to go through this. I felt terribly sad, was quite amazed at how sad I felt. Best wishes to you, and good look with ttc again.

BettySpaghetti · 22/02/2006 09:46

sorry to hear this carly.

When I had my miscarriage it was qute drawn out (over a week). The bleeding started quite lightly and then, as the week progressed, it became heavier and I started losing large clots. It wasn't painful until the day I lost the baby/fetus/sac. I had incredible pains for a short while that made me feel sick. As soon as that passed the pain went and the bleeding susided.

Over that week I was gong to the EPAU at our local hospital for them to monitor the situation and do blood tests. I was given the option of being admitted, a D&C or allowing things to happen naturally at home. I went for the nature taking its course option. A scan confirmed that I had passed everything.

Thinking of you x

diddle · 22/02/2006 09:50

carly p - I miscarried at 7 wks and again at 9 wks, they were both quite similar as far as i can remember, but eveyrone is different so don't be surprised if yours isn't like this. Firstly, i am so very very sorry for your loss.

Mine started with a very light bleed, only on wiping, then gradually progressed to a little heavier, enough for a sanitary towel but not enough to flood a towel. It got more painful after a good few hours and i started to lose small clots. Thats when i went to a&e, who were rubbish wouldn't scan me and sent me home. I miscarried naturally both times. The bleeding gradually got worse, clots got bigger. I never bled haevily, never as heavy as my periods. The bleeding lasted for about 2 weeks, although after the larger clots had passed it was just a steady flow with a few small clots.
You will feel extremely drained by it all, and very emotional when you pass the clots and realise that it may be your baby in there. Be prepared for that. It is an extremely emotional experience.

I hope that i haven;t gone into too much detail for you. I truly believe going through it naturally was the best option for me, rather than having the operation, The whole pregnancy process and childbirth process to me should be natural, and regardless of the condition of the baby i felt it was right.

CarlyP · 22/02/2006 09:52

thanks for sharing your experiences diddle.

thanks everyone else for your help.

cx

OP posts:

diddle · 22/02/2006 09:54

Carly - i think maybe you should take some time off work, this is going to effect your energy levels and mental state more than you can imagine. I had a couple of days off with my 2nd one and a week with my first. Your body will be very very drained and in shock.
It will also give you a chance to grieve properly rather than keeping busy and bottling it up.

CarlyP · 22/02/2006 09:56

we went away (as planned) at the weekend so didnt give me time to think, NOW AT WORK. BUT I FEEL EXHAUSTED. not sure what is best to do really. jsut want to sleep, but trying to keep going.

cx

OP posts:

diddle · 22/02/2006 12:04

caryl carly carly - go and sleep, you need it.

CarlyP · 22/02/2006 12:44

just been told ive been promoted and moving desks tomorrow. feel a bit wierd about it all really.

i know i need sleep and will get an early night.

OP posts:

rubles · 22/02/2006 12:58

Carly, I'm so sorry to hear this.
I have to second what Diddle says and go home. I miscarried at 9 weeks and I went to work, even though I was starting to soak a sanitary towel, and was having strong period pains. I thought it would be better to battle on through and use work to take my mind off it. However it occurred to me at lunchtime that I was in too much pain and what would I do if I passed the baby when I was at work. The next morning after 10 minutes of very sharp pains I went to the toilet and passed a very distinctive sac. It was much larger than I would have imagined, almost the length of my hand. I would have hated to have done that at work.
Please go home. Your experience will be completely individual to you and you say you aren't in any major pain, but if you are exhausted you really should rest. It is such a stressful, sad time that it is draining. When I think back to my time it was like I was on auto-pilot, I was walking around like in a daze, it seems such a surreal time I almost can't believe it happened.
Please, please, go home and relax and lie under a duvet. Watch a movie/cry/read/sleep, but do look after yourself.

Enif · 22/02/2006 13:00

omg

go home you silly girl

you need to rest and be peaceful

take the week off sick

BettySpaghetti · 22/02/2006 13:55

Agree with the others I'm afraid Carly -you need to go home and look after yourself.

To add to my earlier post I was off work for the whole week that my m/c happened over and then off the following week too to deal with the emotional side of it. The first week just seemed so (..difficult to describe..) physical and medical IYSWIM that I needed the second week to deal with the emotional aftermath.

CarlyP · 22/02/2006 14:16

my boss is aware of the situ and ill take some time off if need be.

cx

thank you.

OP posts:

RedZuleika · 22/02/2006 14:27

Sorry to hear this.

I had my second miscarriage at about this point. Light bleeding started in the morning, by lunchtime (when DH and I were trying to get home from a weekend away with friends) I was bleeding quite heavily and had pains coming in waves. The GP I'd spoken to before leaving my friends' house had assumed we were driving back and advised me to look out for hospitals with A&E departments en route. As it was, we got the train - but because of the blood loss considered getting off at London Bridge to go to Guy's & St Thomas'. I passed the foetal sac when we got home. It wasn't as large as some people have described, but it was quite distinctive. I was kept in overnight in Watford General, but only because it was a Sunday and they couldn't scan me - and therefore couldn't be certain it wasn't ectopic etc.

I spent the next week or so lying around in bed watching DVDs.

Which is where you should be! Make yourself some hot chocolate or the such like and be at one with your duvet. It takes it out of you more than you realise.

CarlyP · 22/02/2006 14:32

thanks for sharing your stories everyone. sending you all lots of love.

i will let you know how it goes and if i take time off

thanks

cx

OP posts:

oinker · 22/02/2006 15:43

Carly,

))))))))))))))))))))HUGS(((((((((((((((((((((((

I am so sorry for your loss

You should be at home and off work. You really do need to rest. You need the strength to deal with this both mentally and physically.

I have had 5 m/c and for all of them I was at home. It is a very emotional and draining time. I could never have dealt with it at work.

Take care of yourself.

CarlyP · 22/02/2006 15:46

thanks oinker.

i have 2 boys (aged 1 and 2) so they will keep me going and im grateful for that.

i may leave early today.

cx

OP posts:

oinker · 22/02/2006 15:46

Just incase you are worried about going off work sick....

I am not sure whether this applies to all firms but my m/c's were classed as maternity/antenatal leave and not sickness. I even got annual leave back as 2 m/c had happened whilst off work.

Worth checking though!!

CarlyP · 26/02/2006 19:42

hi everyone,

i took thursday off of work as i got a sickness bug and was throwing up all night. dont think it went down to well though.

i think i lost the baby today as the bleeding was so heavy i was changing towels every 10 mins. had to use maternity ones in the end. ironic.

hopefully that is it as the pains are still bad and hopefully when i go for a scan friday theyre wont be anything there. wierd thing to wish for really. i should be 10+wks now.

we bought a 'remember me' rose yesterday for the garden which was nice.

hoping things will get back to normal soon.

thanks for all your support.

cx

OP posts:

CarlyP · 01/03/2006 06:45

Well, my baby came out yesterday afternoon. i thought id lost it on sunday, but im sure it was yesterday now.

feel kinda wierd, and got also a sense of relief that after 2wks i can start to move on a bit and deal with all the emotions.

still getting bad 'aferpains' and cramps though and i hope/think the blood loss is slowing (great after changing towel every 10mins-1hr) since sunday.

hope everyone is well.

cx

OP posts:

HellKat · 01/03/2006 06:57

Carly- {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}} sweetheart I'm so sorry. Why don't you make an appt at the epu and get a scan (just to make sure there's nothing there). rest up as best you can with little ones, and make sure you're eating iron rich foods after the about of blood you've lost you'll need it.
Whenever you're ready hun, pop over to the ttc after mc thread. There's a few girls going through mc's at the mo and we're all there for eachother.
Thinking of you. xxxx

CarlyP · 01/03/2006 07:26

thanks HK,

got a scan booked for friday. but got to wait for the bleeding to stop (been bleeding since 17th, and really heavy since sunday)... the amount of knickers i have had to bin!

im at work and doing ok. some times i sit and think and then i get down, but im trying to keep busy. we bought a rose on saturday which we are going to plant next week.

not sure when we will try again. maybe next yr. i should really get out running again and loose some weight now.

thanks for all your support.

cx

OP posts:

HellKat · 01/03/2006 07:43

Anytime hun. Know the feeling about undies. I've got Endometriosis and had a stack of old, crappy undies that I wore and binned when after they'd been ruined .
Good luck in the future hun and hope to see you around. Take care of yourself xxxxx

Flip

1 2

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.