A whole year past since my little man grew his wings

(22 Posts)
gingegirl Thu 24-May-12 20:33:27

I cannot believe a whole year has gone past since Oliver past away aged 2.
I still dream about him every night, still think I can hear him crying, still long to hold him and touch his beautiful curly hair! Don't think these feelings will ever go away!
These days life does seem a little easier than it was 12 months ago! Well maybe easier is not the right word.... More bearable possibly.
We are starting to learn how to live a different life, we will never be the same as we were before, how could we be!
We will never forget those precious 2 years we spent together. X

OP’s posts: |
Herrena Thu 24-May-12 20:34:39

So sorry for your loss xx

Hassled Thu 24-May-12 20:34:42

I'm so sorry - it must be unbearably hard for you.

QOD Thu 24-May-12 20:37:59

So sorry for you all x

queenofthepirates Thu 24-May-12 20:44:08

You poor darling, do you want to talk about it?

sending you a big hug xxx

gingegirl Thu 24-May-12 21:55:57

Thanks everyone. Oliver was born with Williams syndrome although this wasn't diagnosed until I found it on the Internet about 3 months before he passed away as all the doctors he was under failed to realise which really annoys me.
We knew he had a minor heart problem from birth but as soon as u mentioned Williams syndrome to his cardiologist alarm bells started to ring I think as major heart problems are common with the condition.
He had to undergo a cardiac catheter and unfortunately he suffered 5 cardiac arrests as a result in the space of 4 hours. There was nothing that could be done for him and we had to switch off the life support machine. It was the hardest desision we will ever make but it was the right desision for Oliver I'm sure!
He was a wonderful little boy, and we have great memories to treasure! Sorry if I've rambled on a bit!! X

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cupofteaplease Thu 24-May-12 22:03:50

I'm so sorry about Oliver. You very kindly gave me some advice a few months ago- I hope you have got people around you who can offer you support and love. Oliver sounds adorable, I'm so pleased you have lots of beautiful memories of him, I'm just terribly sorry you didn't have time to make more x

treefumaster Thu 24-May-12 22:04:05

I'm so sorry. What an awful thing. He sounds wonderful and it's so wrong that he's not still here with you.

gingegirl Thu 24-May-12 22:35:38

Oh yes cupofteaplease I have posted on the bereaved mums thread and a few others but not for a while, how are you feeling? Was it on the mums thread we spoke? My memory seems to have become a little like a 90 year old the past few months! My mind is a bit blank! Lol x

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chipmonkey Thu 24-May-12 22:52:14

Ginge, <<Hugs>>> to you. I'm so glad you have so many wonderful memories of Oliver, I kind of envy you that as we only got 7 weeks with Sylvie-Rose and most of that was in NICU. But it must have been all the harder to lose him.

gingegirl Thu 24-May-12 23:08:32

We almost lost him when he was born and was also in nicu too. We had a year of hell, no sleep constant screaming in agony not knowing why at the time, we now know its all part of Williams syndrome!
I think once that child is born its your child and no matter the age it's devastating To loose them isn't it! They are a part of you!! I wish you had more time with sylvie-rose to get to know her!! what happened if you don't mind me asking? X

OP’s posts: |
pinkyp Thu 24-May-12 23:38:36

God bless Oliver, so sorry you had so little time with him op, x

chipmonkey Fri 25-May-12 00:20:23

Ginge, she was born at 28 weeks but was beautiful and apparently healthy. She was the star of the NICU, gained weight, didn't need much oxygen, was discharged at 35 weeks..... and died of SIDS four days later. Life sucks sometimes, doesn't it? And yes, they always are a part of you. I think of her and talk to her all the time.

gingegirl Fri 25-May-12 12:44:15

Oh chip! So hard to understand how that can happen! And the agonising thing with SIDS is you just don't get answers!! I know how annoyed i am that Oliver died, and we know the reason why, but to not know is just awful! Do you ever feel angry about it? Don't know if that's a stupid question?? I know I feel very angry but not sure if this is normal? X

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70isaLimitNotaTarget Fri 25-May-12 13:34:49

my little man grew his wings

what a beautiful but equally heart wrenching phrase

sad

Thumbwitch Fri 25-May-12 13:38:40

((((hugs)))) to you gingegirl, and you chipmonkey.
I agree with 70 - beautiful phrase there.
Nothing useful to add but just wanted to post something. xxx

chipmonkey Fri 25-May-12 13:50:43

Ginge, I feel more resigned really. But there are times when I feel angry in an irrational way. I had four boys and it really was lovely to have a little girl. But I do think little girls should be allowed to be little girls and those "Pageant" type shows where they dress the little girls up like mannequins make my blood boil. I would sometimes think, how are those women considered fit to raise a daughter when they do that to them and my little girl was taken from me? But that's not terribly fair or logical either!

gingegirl Fri 25-May-12 13:53:25

oh thankyou both! im not a religious person and dont really" believe " but i like to think of oliver as being an angel! he looked like a little cherub when he was alive so i find it easier to think of him in this way rather than thinking hes just gone! bit strange but seems nicer thought xx

OP’s posts: |
Annunziata Fri 25-May-12 13:55:06

I am so sorry for everyone who lost a little one.

gingegirl Fri 25-May-12 13:58:09

chip, nothing is fair or logical in this world! i agree with you, i find myself looking at people in the street thinking why should they have healthy children when my baby has gone?esspecially when you see people are clearly drug addicts or alcoholics,i know i shouldnt really feel this way, im sure they love their children too just cant help it! x

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bronze Fri 25-May-12 14:29:24

I'm so sorry for your loss x

Abra1d Fri 25-May-12 14:34:51

I am so sorry for your loss.

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