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what sort of flowers last well at a graveside

(31 Posts)
tinymouse Fri 27-Apr-12 13:36:58

just made a little posy for my sons grave.

i used some sort of randown folliage from the bushes in my garden, i have no idea what that bush is called, and crythathums in a purple and yellow.

i used a little oasis and a plastic dish and put them in that, not sure how well they will last, we will see.

anway was ust wondering what sort of flowers others find last well and how you keep them?

ive noticed in the churchyard some people have the vase holders and i see alot of carnations that type of thing, but our sons headstone will not go down for another 4 months at least

TanteRose Fri 27-Apr-12 14:05:41

tinymouse, the little posy of flowers for your son sounds beautiful

you could cut some carnations, or maybe daisies/freesias, until they are quite short and put them in the oasis

I am so sorry for your loss sad

frasersmummy Fri 27-Apr-12 14:08:24

hey tiny

we have just replaced the flower holders at ds's garden.. cant say the other g word..

we replaced the plastic vase shaped things with aluminum pots shaped like a milk churn complete with wooden handle.. got them in ikea am hoping they will last a bit better

To be honest its not the flowers but the weather that determines how long they last .. cold clear days mean longer lasting flowers...

i dont like a lot of stuff in ds's garden but I do like to have a windmill or a small smiley scarecrow or a smiley faced plastic sunflower there .. so when the flowers do die there is something to make him look loved ..

I am reading between the lines you want something that will last so his garden is marked till the headstone goes up. I know I did.. our local undertaker put a wooden cross in with a plaque

Frontpaw Fri 27-Apr-12 14:09:02

I always put a small stone on top of my parents gravestone, usually from somewhere I have been to. I always pick up stones and come back from trips with my pockets full. Often they stay put for a long while. It's just something weird I do but it means something to me (like a mini cairn).

Very sorry for your loss. Can you arrange for a local florist to deliver some flowers?

tinymouse Sat 28-Apr-12 13:29:37

hi, our sons grave is marked with a little cross with his name on it, we are having a headstone, but we havent ordered it yet, finding it difficult to choose one, and still thinking about the words to have on it.

i'm happy to do the flowers myself, plus the florists charge about 40 for a simple posy,so can't afford that all the time, so i was just wondering what flowers last well or work well, but i guess i'll have a life time ahead of me to figure this out.

i think we will have some sort of flower holder put in.

and i would like to decorate our sons grave really nicely with windmills lanterns so it looks well cared for.

frasers mummy, that was the sort of thing i was thinking of with the sunflowers etc

so any ideas very welcome.

yes perhaps i'll try the carnations and fresias next time.
or see what i can get hold of

chipmonkey Sun 29-Apr-12 22:02:56

tiny, I generally do just what you have done for our dd's grave. I usually buy a few blocks of oasis and have a couple of heavy dishes that I rotate. I find the little plastic dishes too light and they blow over in strong wind.

Our local garage does bunches of flowers quite cheaply, they are usually mainly freesias with a couple of roses and lilies. Agree with frasers that the weather has a lot to do with how long they last.

I have [ these tinkling toadstools]] and a few fairy ornaments, also some solar pink fairy lights and long-burning candles for night time.

I also have a few containers with heather and pansies.

After the headstone and proper surround are up, I intend to do a fairy garden with miniature houses and figures using small shrubs as trees.

chipmonkey Sun 29-Apr-12 22:03:53

Sorry tinkling toadstools here

tinymouse Mon 30-Apr-12 13:57:41

chip, that sounds wonderful.
do you use green tape to stick the oasis to the dishes?

the fairy garden sounds really great, i'd love to see a pic of that some day

im just looking onlone for idea, maybe use some sort of blue stones around the headstone?

chipmonkey Mon 30-Apr-12 16:23:30

I never have green tapeblush I use Sellotape or this black tape dh has in a drawer.

tinymouse Tue 01-May-12 10:09:24

oh thats good then, as i thought you had to use oasis tape,

saw these in home base last night i particularlly like the blue hummiing bird, i might get that for the stat of the grave decorations, what do you think?

chipmonkey Tue 01-May-12 13:52:52

That is lovely. I have a bird sort of like that. The only thing I find is that some things go rusty. I think there's an acrylic spray you can get for them but I've never managed to get it.

chipmonkey Tue 01-May-12 13:54:21

Does my "black tape that dh keeps in a drawer" sound dodgy or what?grin
He's not a torturer or anything, it's for DIY stuff!

tinymouse Tue 01-May-12 20:56:57

lol, your dhs gaffer tape.
just been thinking about what sort of headstone to get and what words to have on it.

chipmonkey Tue 01-May-12 21:09:53

tinymouse, it is shite, isn't it?sad We have decided on a teddy design on white granite with pink lettering and the words "Too beautiful for Earth"
But I really never wanted to be choosing a headstone for my child, I really didn'tsad

tinymouse Tue 01-May-12 21:17:35

yes it is really shite, i keep thinking i wanted to be buying our baby boy, toys and thing to play with.

not toys to go in his coffin, and the first big thing we buy for him is a headstone.

i'm so sorry for your loss chip
{big hug}

do you have a link for that headstone, your choice sound lovely, i've been spending hours researching headstones and i def have not seen a white one with pink lettering.
lovely lovely words.

i was thinking of having baby blue lettering on black but wasnt too sure how well it would stand out

chipmonkey Tue 01-May-12 21:27:11

tiny, you can ask them for any design on any stone you like.
Hang on till I find some links. Whereabouts do you live?

chipmonkey Tue 01-May-12 21:32:26

tiny, this site specialise in children's memorials and this is the design we will have: teddy
Another lovely MNer got her dd's headstone in "rose white granite" from the people who made the memorial and I saw it as we are FB friends. The design of hers is different but the colouring is what we would like.

chipmonkey Tue 01-May-12 21:36:49

this page shows the rose white granite. Now, I'm in Ireland and couldn't see the right colour on any of the memorial sites we have here but I asked the guy who was doing a headstone for the lady next to dd and he said they can make anything you want and order any stone you want, it might just take a while longer.

tinymouse Tue 01-May-12 21:37:33

oh wow thats amazing! i love that.
even though our son was buried i think we are supposed to have a tablet, rather than a upright headstone.
because he is buried in a churchyard not a cemetry.
and only ashes are allowed to be buried there.
they made a special exemption for us as they said its exceptioal circumstances.
which was nice of the church.
i'll pm you my location if that ok.
i wonder if you can get baby blue granite

mummmsy Tue 01-May-12 21:41:07

what an awful thing for you to have to think of. what about artificial flowers, i'm sure you can get nice ones? rabbits eat the real ones at our local cemetary

probably totally unhelpful...

tinymouse Tue 01-May-12 21:54:06

thanks mummsy, it is a awful thing ot think about.

oddly comforting being able to make the grave nice though.

theres no rabbits at our churchyard so no problems with that.

i think i prefer to use fresh flowers for the moment

chipmonkey Tue 01-May-12 22:00:41

I can't do artificial flowers for dd, I just can't. They just look too artificial. I decided once that i would get some but would be very choosy, they had to look real. Well, so far, I bought one! The only one that I thought passed the "Oh, I thought that was real" test i.e if dh or my Mum said that, it was "good enough"
And I can understand why you would put them on an adult's grave but I visit my dd's grave most days. I never visited my Nana's grave or my Dad's as I didn't think they were "there" IYKWIM. But I visit dd's not because I think she is there but it's the only proper tribute I have made to her.

mummmsy Tue 01-May-12 22:02:54

i completely understand the need for fresh flowers - they are a living thing aren't they in a way

thinking of you anyway

tinymouse Tue 01-May-12 22:03:22

i agree, i feel a sense of caring /nurturing when taking flowers for my son.

hard to explain.

Blondeshavemorefun Sat 05-May-12 17:11:35

so sorry for you loss -have always said a parent shouldnt have to bury their child sad

flowers vary on weather-tbh i havnt found a batter flower in the past year, tho i have planted some daffs so always look cheerful, but i also have silk flowers as when the real ones die, i hate going to dh plaque and seeing nothing, so for me i have false flowers and real ones when i go there - took white tulips today

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