My Dad died today

(15 Posts)
lexluther Fri 13-Apr-12 21:06:49

I'm in the UK and he and my Mum are in SA (they live here but have a property there and my Dad's S.African). It feels totally surreal and I haven't been able to talk to my Mum for more than a few minutes as they live out in the sticks and there's no mobile signal sad My brother lives out there and is driving to be with my Mum tomorrow but I want to be there too, I feel awful they're so far away. I've been phoning family here as it's something I can do but it all feels surreal and like a bad joke. It was sudden he slipped into a coma and his heart stopped and he died, he was only 62 sad

OP’s posts: |
Madly Fri 13-Apr-12 21:15:51

So sorry to hear of your dad. He was so young, it must be a terrible shock.

Being so far away makes everything even worse for you. Hope you can get out there soon and comfort your poor Mum. Massive condolencessad

carocaro Fri 13-Apr-12 21:16:33

So sorry to hear about you Dad, so hard and even harder when you are in another country. There is not much you can do really, will he be brought back to the UK for the funeral? There is not much to do until this has been decided. I feel for you, when my Dad died I was with him, which I really don't think made a difference as he was out of it on pain releif (cancer) and was not aware of me. My DH was in the car park of the hospital when his Dad died and never went back into the room. You do what you do with the circumstance you have, it does not mean you loved them any more or less. I think it matters afterwards with your family when you can be together.

Take care of yourself and then you can help take care of others too. Again so sorry.

lexluther Fri 13-Apr-12 21:26:02

Thanks for your messages - he'll be cremated there and his ashes scattered on their farm - I want to be there for that but have a 7 month DS who doesn't have a passport (plus another DS and DD, 6 and 4 but they could stay here with DH). Just hard to be so far away sad thanks for listening and responding I don't want to post on FB but don't really want to talk to friends directly right now so a relief to find somewhere to start to process this all.

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nowwearefour Fri 13-Apr-12 21:34:28

I am so very sorry for your loss.

DioneTheDiabolist Fri 13-Apr-12 21:35:24

I am so sorry to hear that your dad is dead Lexluther.
Being so far away, it probably feels very unreal and surreal at the minute.sad

lexluther Fri 13-Apr-12 21:48:10

Going to have to tell my kids tomorrow - don't know how, they adored him sad

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Madly Fri 13-Apr-12 22:07:11

That's the hardest thing! Your grief compounded by having to explain to your very young children that their grandfather has died. sad. So so sad!

Hope you have a supportive DH/dp

ChippingInLovesEasterEggs Fri 13-Apr-12 22:15:48

I am really really sorry to hear about your Dad. It's devastating. It is incredibly hard to be so far away when something such as this happens sad If you can bear to risk the end of BF (if you are) your youngest DS will be fine with his Dad too.

Really huge hugs

chipmonkey Sat 14-Apr-12 01:53:52

lex, so sorry to hear about your Dad xx sad

buickmackane Sat 14-Apr-12 09:38:04

I'm very sorry for your loss. My dad died last week, he was 62 and absolutely adored by me and my young children so I know how awful it is x

blowcushion Sun 15-Apr-12 02:37:02

So very, very sorry for your loss. xxx

carocaro Tue 17-Apr-12 11:42:57

How are you today?

Hope it was ok telling the children, so tough.

lexluther Wed 18-Apr-12 18:38:10

Thanks again for your messages. Condolences to you too buickmackane.

Telling the kids was hard but they've been processing it really well - I'm not sure it'll properly sink in until my mum comes back though.

I've managed to get a passport for the baby - they have the ability to grant on the day appointments and passports on compassionate grounds and so it was a long day in London yesterday but the passport is done <sigh of massive relief>. I fly out on Saturday and will be there in time for his memorial service. Going to miss the big kids like mad but we have wonderful family and friends helping us out and DH has been brilliant.

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newpup Wed 18-Apr-12 18:44:53

So very sorry lexluther sad My Dad died 9 months ago, he was very ill with cancer but he was also young, only 61. It is a terrible time and I am only just coming to terms with his death now.

Be kind to yourself and safe journey.

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