my lovely mum died two weeks ago

(16 Posts)
readysalted Sat 17-Mar-12 20:07:24

mum had been ill for so long with very complex medical problems and she was in so much pain i should feel relief for her but i dont i want her back i want to talk to her even if she was telling me off i want to feel her hands like i allways did she had small soft hands with lovely nails i worked with my mum for years and i miss her so my husband found a old voicemail message from her and i carnt bring myself to listen to it he said she sounded so frail on the face of things i look like im doing ok but its a front i have tears dripping from my nose typing this in our little family i need to be the strong one but i wish somebody could just take the lead for a bit sad sad sad

OP’s posts: |
Catsmamma Sat 17-Mar-12 20:08:46

oh! losing a parent is so hard. Love to you. xx

wantingmore Sat 17-Mar-12 20:17:31

i am so sorry for your loss. i have no experience but please keep talking on here if it helps you.xx

ggirl Sat 17-Mar-12 20:21:32

so sorry
my childhood friend has just lost her mum
I am so upset for her I don't know what to say, such a shock

I hope you have some support

sarahbarah Sat 17-Mar-12 20:24:15

i am so sorry, it is all very new and raw, i lost my mum at 23 and my beloved father in law last year who was the most supportive dad and loving granddad, so terribly sad that we dont have him in our future, but please consider grief councelling at some point, i cant fully advise as each family is different but picking up the phone and talking to family and meeting up with eachother and with your children helped a bit especially at "happy times" such as christmas, you are only coming to terms and it is only 2 weeks ago, i think you are entitled to cry, and keep her face in your mind, we who had our parents till adulthood are blessed X

nkf Sat 17-Mar-12 20:27:29

I am so sorry. Very very hard.

readysalted Sat 17-Mar-12 20:47:47

thanks everybody im dredding mothers day i have got my mother in law and father in law coming for lunch i think i did that so i could hide behind the cooking pretending i like to keep busy but im in bits my adorable lttle girl said Nana is in your heart mummy dont cry and i know she is but me being a little girl wants her mum back i dont feel old enough for this yet and saying that im 44

OP’s posts: |
ditavonteesed Sat 17-Mar-12 20:48:20

sorry for your loss xx

hmc Sat 17-Mar-12 20:49:30

So sorry readysalted

ThePathanKhansWitch Sat 17-Mar-12 20:51:06

So sorry ready, I hope tomorrow is a day of lovely memories for you. Your never ready to lose a parent, or too old to need one. thanks x

Sittinginthesun Sat 17-Mar-12 20:54:22

So sorry sad. It is very early days, and trying to keep busy and putting a brave face on things is very normal, but you do need to give yourself time to grieve.

When I lost my Dad, I tried to keep going, and it actually made me I'll. The doctor referred me to counselling, which was just brilliant. Please consider asking your GP.

As for Mother's Day, my counsellor said it is best to meet difficult dates, like Birthdays etc, head on. Assume you are going to feel upset, plan time in the day to really scream and cry, and to miss your lovely mum. Can you go to her grave? Or to a place that you both loved? Have a real sob? It sounds strange, but it does actually help.

Take care. X

StealthToddler Sat 17-Mar-12 20:54:30

I lost my mum 11 years ago when I was 25 and I really struggled. I felt exactly as you do. I bottled it up and was strong which led to me having a very public breakdown whilst at work 6 months later and being signed off work for 2 weeks.
I still feel raw and upset particularly over things I know my mum would have liked to be part of - my wedding, the birth of my children....
What helped? CRUSE bereavement care who my gp referred me to- and lots and lots of time.

Sexonlegs Sun 18-Mar-12 08:24:13

Readysalted, I am so sorry to hear about your Mum. I hope today goes as well as it can do. First's of anything are always hard.

This is the second Mother's Day without Mum sad

Take care and take some time for yourself.

ChippingInNeedsCoffee Sun 18-Mar-12 12:22:24

ReadySalted <<HUGS>> Having to deal with Mother's Day so soon after losing your Mum is really, really hard. I don't think you ever feel 'old enough' to lose a parent sad Hang in there my love x

readysalted Sun 18-Mar-12 19:49:00

thank you for all your kind words its been a right mixed bag today with tears lots of talk and roast lamb so sad, sad, good

OP’s posts: |
ChippingInNeedsCoffee Tue 20-Mar-12 00:46:04

It's very early days my lovely. It's such a shame you had to face Mother's Day so soon - it's hard at anytime, but 2 weeks... that's really unfair sad It does change - I don't think 'easier' is the right word, it just changes and becomes something you learn to live with. Lots of love & strength x

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