Mothers day, didnt know where to post this

(6 Posts)
MyLittleMiracle Mon 20-Feb-12 22:04:21

Recently name changed, permanently, please dont out me.

I loved and lost two pregnancies, the first who i believe to be a little girl, her name was junior, and the second i believe a little boy, his name littley,or little'un, I miss them both so very much. They were both MMC'S and i still dearly love them, that love that i felt for them has never left me. The first was between 8 and 9 weeks that the heart stopped beating and the second was at 8 weeks and 6 days.

I now have a healthy little boy 20months old, who is gorgeous, and i called him bump right up until birth (cos by 1st scan i did have a BUMP!)

Well today i was discussing with a new found friend about mothers day etc, and i said that i had decided to buy for myself a necklace, its tag style very pretty, with their birth stones in, and their names engraved on the back.

She asked whether i thought that this was not a bit insensitive, and wouldnt it make mothers day hard for me. I see it as a way to help heal and i believe my babies are up there guiding me from heaven above, watching over me and protecting me and giving me strength to hold my head up.

I guess everyone grieves in their own way. I wanted a necklace so they would be close to my heart. Its not that anyone would see their names, just a pretty necklace.

Please tell me if this is a stupid idea and will just hurt me or is it just everyones way of dealing with loss different?

I should add she has also miscarried twice, one of which was a late miscarriage, to her little girl. Maybe she was the wrong one to talk to about it.

OP’s posts: |
Tranquilidade Mon 20-Feb-12 22:06:33

It's not stupid if it means something to you that helps you. Her opinion is irrelevant as what's right for her may not be right for you.

You do what you want to.

Sorry for your loss.

MyLittleMiracle Mon 20-Feb-12 22:20:23

I just started wondering whether it was a okay gift for mothers day or not? Or whether i should buy it on an anniversary or something?

It FEELS right, it FEEL like its time to move on and stop crying over them, but i doubt myself all the time now. I dont want to forget and i think thats what scares me.

OP’s posts: |
chipmonkey Mon 20-Feb-12 22:30:44

MyLittleMiracle, there is no right or wrong here. As you know from the other thread, lots of us have lost children at different stages and yes, Mothers Day is harder for us because of the children we lost, I think it's actually lovely to have something to remember them by. Maybe your friend thinks it's something she wouldn't do for herself but I think it's a lovely idea.

MyLittleMiracle Mon 20-Feb-12 22:42:17

Thank you. Just wanted to ask, without throwing it into the other thread and making people feel crappy reading it. It sort of gives people the option to read about mothers day or not.

Maybe she still hasnt faced it. Mothers day seemed appropriate but started thinking, i dont want mothers day to always be over shadowed by the two I lost, but its only fair on them and me they are remembered.

OP’s posts: |
chipmonkey Mon 20-Feb-12 23:16:13

MLM, the way I see it, on the other thread we are there to support each other through Christmas, Mothers Day, all those difficult days. And if we're feeling crap about it, well we're all feeling crap so at least we have each other!

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