I was with my beloved Gran on Tuesday when she passed.

(6 Posts)
Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern Thu 09-Feb-12 18:22:18

My dad's mum She had Alzheimer's and spent the past year very happily in an amazing care home.
She was convinced my mum and dad got married last year. After 43 years together my mum was delighted.
We got told on Monday it was a matter of days rather than weeks. She lived 120 miles away and my sister and I drove up together on Tuesday morning.
We spent the morning with her then went to my uncles round the corner for a coffee.
When we left my sister suggested lunch but I said I wanted to go back we could eat on the way home so we went back. We were only there about 10 minutes and I started feeling agitated. At first I couldn't explain why but as I looked at her realised she was slipping away. My dad said I seemed nervous and told me that when it was happening I would know. I couldn't say it out loud and I now feel awful I didn't but I couldn't tell my dad his mother had gone. My sister was sitting next to her and said is she still breathing and I said no.
I am not a great believer in what I would usually call woo stuff but at that exact moment the nurse came down the corridor and said we just need to check on her and asked us to step outside. Me and my sister cried and my dad went out to meet his cousin who had just arrived. The nurse came back out and confirmed she had gone.
My sister went back in and I went to my dad and we cried together.

I'm not really sure why I'm writing this all down really. I am a bit spooked that I realised before everyone else that she was going. I woke up that morning and knew she would. Me and my gran were very close she was an innocent proper lady who was a teenager during the war and shared her stories with me grin my dad who is usually very practical said that he thinks that mentally on some level she reached out to me as she passed.

Her funeral is on Tuesday. She is the first person my children have lost it was heartbreaking telling dd she adored her great grandma.
Goodness this is so long and I have no real idea why I'm writing it just need to get it all out really.

OP’s posts: |
mummytime Thu 09-Feb-12 20:17:12

It's fine. I am sure these memories will help in the long term, and it sounds peaceful.
You have my sincere sympathy.

QueenSconetta Fri 10-Feb-12 08:49:03

Sorry for your loss. My Dad died on Monday night, and while we were all there, I was the only one paying attention! It's a funny feeling and in a way a burden iyswim.

His funeral is also Tuesday. Thinking of you, x.

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern Sat 11-Feb-12 08:50:32

Thank you mummy it was very peaceful.
Oh queen I'm so sorry for your loss. I'm sure you're glad (if that's the right word) you were with him. My dad was worried about my sister and I because of how much my Gran's appearance had changed but in the end was glad we were with her and also with him as we had each other.
Yes I do know what you mean about it feeling almost like a burden. I just couldn't say anything. I don't usually struggle and I wasn't frightened just in a little bit of shock.
One of my biggest worries was she would linger and be in pain or distress but she really did just drift off.

My dad went to see her in the funeral home yesterday. My mum says he was very emotional.
She wound her sons up something rotten at times but she was a fantastic mum and Gran who worked hard all her life. But she knew how to play and have fun too. She had a really wicked sense of humour.

OP’s posts: |
lowra Mon 13-Feb-12 08:25:48

Ineedacleaner, I'm sorry for your loss. My nan passed on Friday and I was with her at the end.

My mum was away at the time, she is going to visit nan in the funeral home too, I'm sure it will be very difficult for her but it's something she wants to do.

I miss my nan so much but I'm comforted by the fact that she had a lovely life and lots of people who loved her. My thoughts are with you Ineedacleaner x

Ineedacleaneriamalazyslattern Fri 17-Feb-12 20:14:02

Thank you lowra. I hope your mum is feeling ok after going to the funeral home.
I never went to see my gran. I didn't feel the need I'd had the chance to say my goodbyes.
The funeral went well. Seen some family I hadn't seen for years and the minister told some funny stories about her which was nice.
The actual hardest part of that day for me was seeing my dad cry.

OP’s posts: |

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