A Reading/Poem for Funeral of Stillborn baby girl

[Thirtysix]

My best friend gave birth to a stillborn little girl (India) on Tuesday.I have spent time over the last two days with her,her partner and the baby in the delivery suite.I managed to find a very small babygrow so when they leave her later today she will be "warm".

I needn't say how devastating this is for all of them but they have asked me to read at her funeral.I just wondered if any of you wonderful people know of any lovely poems/readings I may be able to use?

[shrub]

so so sorry for your best friend.
do not stand at my grave and weep is a beautiful poem and has brought me comfort
xxx

[Roobie]

Sorry to hear about your friend. My friends had Remember by Christina Rossetti at the funeral of their stillborn son last year.


Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more day by day
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

Christina Rossetti

[frogs]

Or this one, by Christina Rossetti:


Remember me when I am gone away,
Gone far away into the silent land;
When you can no more hold me by the hand,
Nor I half turn to go yet turning stay.
Remember me when no more, day by day,
You tell me of our future that you plann'd:
Only remember me; you understand
It will be late to counsel then or pray.
Yet if you should forget me for a while
And afterwards remember, do not grieve:
For if the darkness and corruption leave
A vestige of the thoughts that once I had,
Better by far you should forget and smile
Than that you should remember and be sad.

[bundle]

if she hasn't got one already, do get her a nice pretty box which she can put some keepsakes in to remember her by.

[acnebride]

This one is apparently used at a lot of funerals, I read it first in Family by Susan Hill and cry every time, I think it is beautiful.

The Noble Nature by Ben Jonson

The Noble Nature

It is not growing like a tree
In bulk, doth make Man better be;
Or standing long as oak, three hundred year,
To fall at last, dry, bald, and sere:

A lily of a day
Is fairer far in May,
Although it fall and die that night?
It was the plant and flower of Light.
In small proportions we just beauties see;
And in short measures life may perfect be.

[acnebride]

i copied that off another site and I think it is short measure (singular) in the last line. i wd check in a book, obviously.

[melrose]

From the Caron Keating Foundation website, think it was read at Caron's funeral. I think it is beautiful, always makes me cry

Sometimes

Sometimes, when the sun goes down, It seems it will never rise again? but it will!

Sometimes, when you feel alone, It seems your heart will break in two? but it won?t.

And sometimes, it seems it?s hardly worthwhile carrying on?
But it is.

For sometimes, when the sun goes down,
It seems it will never rise again,
But it does

Frank Brown

[Marina]

We had this for our stillborn son's funeral, Thirtysix:

For a Child Born Dead by Elizabeth Jennings

What ceremony can we fit
You into now? If you had come
Out of a warm and noisy room
To this, there'd be an opposite
For us to know you by. We could
Imagine you in lively mood

And then look at the other side,
The mood drawn out of you, the breath
Defeated by the power of death.
But we have never seen you stride
Ambitiously the world we know.
You could not come and yet you go.

But there is nothing now to mar
Your clear refusal of our world.
Not in our memories can we mould
You or distort your character.
Then all our consolation is
That grief can be as pure as this.

The last verse in particular really summed up the desolate way we were feeling.

I am so sorry that India died. Your best friend is lucky to have you to share the grief and the joy of being a mother.
I hope the hospital has put her in touch with SANDS - they can also suggests poems and readings.

We also had Matthew 19:13 onwards, the reading where Jesus welcomes all children.

[bundle]

marina, how on earth do you read something like that without a wobbly voice? (who read it for you?)

[Marina]

My sister read it in her best professional voice for us, but she did wobble very badly bundy
I had a quiet snuffle for India and her parents when typing it out again tbh

[bundle]

of course, I should have known she would have read it. my sil read a passage from Bernard Mcclaverty's Grace Notes about the joy of having a child (at our wedding)- and blubbed - so I can only begin to imagine how it felt for your sister, reading those tender words about Tom.

[Marina]

She had a holiday booked just after he died and was all for cancelling it to stay with us. We insisted she went and they made a lovely low-tide beach sculpture of his name, then photographed it, and the sunset, for his memory box.
Sisters and SILs - we are lucky to have them. And friends too thirtysix.

[Thirtysix]

Thank you all so much for these....I really don't know how I am going to be able to read any of them without breaking down but I know I must.

Thank you again

[amyjade]

A poem for you.


Little Snowdrop

The world may never notice
If a Snowdrop doesn't bloom,
Or even pause to wonder
If the petals fall too soon.
But every life that ever forms,
Or ever comes to be,
Touches the world in some small way
For all eternity.


The little one we long for
Was swiftly here and gone.
But the love that was then planted
Is a light that still shines on.
And though our arms are empty,
Our hearts know what to do.
Every beating of our hearts
Says that we love you.

• Author Unknown -

[amyjade]

Have a look on Compassioate friends website they have hundreds of poems.

[amyjade]

Sorry ment compassionate.
Hope you find something. xx

From another bereaved mummy, my thoughts are with India's parents at this difficult time.

[zephyrcat]

This is very short but still a lovely sentiment...

'An Angel wrote in the book of life,
My baby's date of birth,
Then whispered as she closed the book,
"Too beautiful for Earth". '

[Thirtysix]

Thye are all so beautiful-I plan to print off this thread so India's Mum and Dad can see how kind you have all been.x

[mrsdarcy]

I'm so sorry for India's parents. A terrible time for them.

ELEGY FOR A STILL-BORN CHILD

Your mother walks light as an empty creel
Unlearning the intimate nudge and pull

Your trussed-up weight of seed-flesh and
bone-curd
Had insisted on. That evicted world

Contracts round its history, its scar.
Doomsday struck when your collapsed
sphere

Extinguished itself in our atmosphere,
Your mother heavy with the lightness in her.

For six months you stayed cartographer
Charting my friend from husband towards
father.

He guessed a globe behind your steady
mound.
Then the pole fell, shooting star, into the
ground.

On lonely journeys I think of it all,
Birth of death, exhumation for burial;

A wreath of small clothes, a memorial
pram
And parents reaching for a phantom limb.

I drive by remote control on this bare road
Under a drizzling sky, a circling rock.

Past mountain fields full to the brim with
cloud.
White waves riding home on a wintry lough.

-- Seamus Heaney

[WestCountryLass]

Do not stand at my grave and weep is such a beautiful and comforting poem.

I am so sorry for the loss of India

[C0206]

We had Christina Rossetti's poem at my son's funeral 7 months ago - he was also still-born - full term and a horrible shock.
We also chose the Bible blessing "May the Lord bless you and keep you. May the Lord make His face to shine upon and be gracious unto you. May the Lord turn His face towards you and give you peace."

[lis1986]

Hello i hope this may help, i am 22 and lost my baby at 20 weeks just this week so i have also been looking for poems. Here is one that touched me and related to how i feel most.

Little Snowdrop

The world may never notice if a Snowdrop doesn 't bloom,

Or even pause to wonder if the petals fall too soon,

But every life that ever forms or even comes to be,

Touches the world in some small way for all eternity.

The little one we longed for was swiftly here and gone,

But the love that was then planted is a light that still shines on,

And though our arms are empty our hearts know what to do,

Every beating of our hearts says that we love you.

All my love and best wishes to your friend. . xx

[lottiejenkins]

This is a poem that i read out every year at a babyloss service at our local hospital....
Very sorry for the loss of India.........

GONE TOO SOON.
------

This was a life that hardly begun
no time to find your place in the sun
no time to do all you could have done
but we loved you enough for a lifetime

No time to enjoy the world and its wealth
No time to take life down off the shelf
no time to sing the song of yourself
though you had enough love for a lifetime

Those who live long endure sadness and tears
but you'll never suffer the sorrowing years
no betrayel, no anger
no hatred, no fears
Just love, only love in your lifetime..

I was asked by Shabs on the bereaved mums thread to post this.............

[shabster]

So very sorry to hear of the loss of India.

No death so sad as that of a child.

Could I possibly invite your friend, and anyone else who would like to talk, to a very, very special MN thread? It is not always a sad place to be...we chit chat, and smile, and laugh and remember our precious childrenwww.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/711831-Harry-39-s-thread-for-bereaved-mums-Wether-its-a

[lottiejenkins]

Lis1986 have just sen you write of your loss too. My thoughts are with you also.............