TheConstantGardener

[TheConstantGardener]

Hi all

I haven't posted on MN for a long time for various reasons - time, logistics, ability to muster the strength etc etc. Anyway, I wanted to say hi to everyone and also thanks to anyone who thought of the boys and I during the past year.

The past year has been difficult and a roller coaster in many ways and I am trying very hard to settle into a 'new normal' and find a different life that we are able to live now. It has been a hard year with lots of emotions and lots of dynamics shifting between family and friends (something which is very hard to deal with) and also lots of painful milestone dates and so on. Coping strategies and lists have been helpful, although that hardly sounds the easiest way to live your life I realise! Sadly it is the reality though.

The boys have settled back into a routine and Stanley has just begun school (happy but sad about that), they are very well adjusted given the circumstances and I am throwing lots of energy into them and keeping doing some interesting things for us all.

So, every day is still a challenge and every day has very sad times and at times I feel I am still a very sad person about what has happened. I think that is normal. Where life was less complex and simple it has become something that needs constant thought, planning and consideration - knowing what will work for me and the boys has been an important lesson and helps me get through the trickier times.

Again, thanks everyone for responding to my initial post and best wishes to everyone.

TCG

x

[twotesttickles]

Welcome back :)

It's nice to see you back on here (I've namechanged so you won't recognise my screen name) but it's genuinely nice to see you back.

[BCBG]

Hi CG, I have often wondered how you and the boys are doing. It sounds as though you are a little lonely and that may just be because everyone has settled back into a routine and left you to it ... I just wanted to say I am not always on here as RL is tricky at the moment but I will check in and I know that there are lots of lovely MNers who are around who would love to to hear from you. How is your work life? I remember that wasn't too easy. Hope you are OK: remember you are doing the best job every and your DW would be so proud of you just for coping

[seriouslynow]

Hi TCG, I was also on your old thread. Is it really a year since your dw died?

It's good to hear from you - I've often wondered how you and your little ones are. I've never been in your situation but people say it does get easier, happy times will come again, and while you'll never forget your dw, your little family will come through. You sound like you're doing brilliantly and creating good memories for your little darlings.

Sending you a big (very non-mn) HUG!

I've also changed my mn name since then and don't get much time to come on here at the mo, but please keep in touch eh?

[Tianc]

Thanks for coming back, I've wondered how you and your family were doing through the year.

Sounds like you've been doing an incredible job with your boys and getting to grips with this different sort of life that's been thrust upon you. Wishing you all strength to keep on keeping on.